Greetings everyone... I am Anne. Some of you Subetans might remember me from a few years ago....

My screen name is no longer relevant though... I thought I deleted my account but apparently the site wouldn't let me. I gave up all my pets, not even sure what's in my inventory, but I've thought about coming back online today and I'm glad I did.

I broke up with the guy. I am no one's girl. I am in charge of myself and I steer the ship. I'm free and we broke up two and a half years ago.

I finally graduated from college the year before that, 2013. But by the next thing it got really bad with his mental health and he also just realized he should let me go. We were really burned out. It was abusive and we didn't even really understand each other. Also, I'm diagnosed with high functioning Asperger's Syndrome. The VERY verbal variety. Hi.

I originally left Subeta because I shut down. I got hurt, I don't even remember who, but I remember what, but time has changed me. I'm tougher. Context can be easily misread when it's not audio. Because of my now ex, my defense mechanism was to cower, and that's exactly what I did here too.

I'd like to start over and save up for the item that changes your user name. I'm not with a Sean anymore, nor is a serious relationship a goal anymore. I'm back, starting over with a blank slate.

I finally have a job, too. I work full time. I hope to move out by next year. I'm almost 30 and I'm going bonkers with this lack of privacy I have. Just saving money like a maniac just in case I butt heads with my family and it gets to be too much. Just in case.

I've learned a lot about myself in the last few years, and my maturity has grown like.... a rapidly growing organism. Lucidity is so beautiful and it's one of the greatest gifts. Things I wish I had realized a decade ago but was too scared and naive to accept or process. I realized I don't want what I thought I did, and I'm not afraid of what I want now: just companionship, and I've found it. Not ready to talk about it unless there's another area for that, and I'm sure there is because I knew this forum was always chill about it. Only paranoid about family, don't want them to know. All you need to know is that I am happy and getting help with chasing away the remaining demons that I have that are not my fault.

Anyway, I've grown up quite a bit since my last time on here, so I'd like to start over fresh with you all. If you remember me, I bet I remember some of your screen names if they have stayed the same. Hi there. Let's be friends again, shall we?

EDIT: just changed my username from Seans_Girl to enchantressnine! YES!

ORIGINAL POST BELOW:

THANK YOU. Those will definitely be useful.

It's been since April 2013. Just a month before I graduated from college. I knew it was at least when I had my first smart phone because I'd log in from it so I could keep posting on the forums when I wasn't home and now I have an iPad and bluetooth keyboard where I could also do that xD

I also have more money than I thought, and I had money in my shop which was AWESOME. Might buy gold membership for a while just to speed things along in my return. I'll be here and there. I'm working, dating shh! xD, and starting a chapter in my area for something I'm passionate about. Oh, and I've lost weight TWICE since I left. I lost 41 lbs in 2013, gained it all back and then some, and then I lost 69.8 and counting since 2015. Naturally I emotion-ate after the split because all those realizations were just POURING into my head. I never wanted him back after the split but the love spell was wearing off and I was realizing how bad it was. WOW. O_O

Again, thank you!

Welcome to subeta, and congrats on the name change! It sounds like you've been through a lot but it also sounds like you're doing amazing right now. It's really cool that you're starting a chapter for something you care about - can I ask what it is?

What kinda work do you do? And do you have any hobbies?

I'm just Bug, by the way. Probably a spider, since I'm a web developer ;D

glad you were able to change your username! Fresh new start must be fun and exciting! Sorry to hear things weren't working out, but glad they are now it sounds like^^

Well, it's been 3 years since I was on this account, but YES. Thank you for the welcome! hehehe

It's the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. There has been an explosion of articles in the last few years suggesting that Autism Speaks is actually rather terrible so we're here to set the record straight and empower peers in the process. We are pro acceptance, not "pro cure" as there realistically isn't such a thing. That's the polite description of ASAN. LOL

I work in admin type things. I'm a mailroom attendant and I am a back up for vehicle management and reservations for employees that need to borrow cars for meetings. I work for the state. :D

I am a musician--- I play bassoon in a local community band that my ex is unfortunately still in. We joined while we were together, but I joined first so that's why I'm not budging. It's two hours a week that we coexist and that's fine with me as long as we're civil. He's come close to pushing my buttons lately but I laugh it off instead. He's shallow and rude. lol

I scrapbook, I like to play Ingress which is the mobile Niantic game that pioneered Pokemon Go. We are why the pokestops exist. I'm on the Resistance faction. I work out, I'm a Kingdom Hearts person, I listen to trance, progressive house, rock and whatever was around in the 90s. haha

I also have been journaling for over a year. Most of it is filler but it keeps me busy when I have down time at work. c;

I'm not sorry it didn't work out, I just wish it didn't take so long for it to be realized. haha the first week post break up sucked but it was just because the actual good times were flooding back at me before the toxic stuff did. I think it was also relief grief. Crying because I was so relieved it was done. It was a very exhausting relationship. I'm still tired. Some things still trigger bad flashbacks but they're usually beyond my control. My life has been amazing since then though. I'm in control of it!

I'm glad you got control of it:D Gotta burn that bad old shit! I remember throwing away letters from an old flame way back when. I still have memories of them, but its only in dreams..which I'm glad of. Bad part is I remember a worse verbal abusive relationship..but for some reason I'm glad it happened so that I could end it. He told me to just end it by saying some simple words..I went back once because i didn't realize what he was doing..but after a few talks i did and said them again and left. I feel sad for people who live with an abusive person and don't have the money to leave them. I hope they get that money to do that soon somehow. I'm glad I just talked to some bad people and not actual made the horrible choice of moving in. That is a step to think over FULLY and Important!

Congrats on the new name, glad you had a loyalty box waiting - if you have more boxes, there is also one option that gives you, I think 3 months of Gold Account as well :)

Ooh ASAN that is AWESOME!!! I am not autistic myself, but I've educated myself on Autism Speaks and why it's so problematic. I have similar ideas/experiences with my own neurodivergence as well, so I can relate to an extent to the autistic community's battle here. (I have a "personality disorder" but I do not feel that I am wrong and need to be cured; on the contrary, I think it's society that needs to be cured, to be more accepting of all of us!)

Ooh, bassoon, that's really cool. I actually used to play in band too, unfortunately only up through the end of high school, but I was pretty good at it. I played the clarinet and oboe, so, somewhat related to the bassoon :D

I'm sorry you have to deal with your ex being there though. I've been in that kinda situation before and I know how uncomfortable it can be. I hope that if he bothers you, though, that you can talk to the band director or other staff about it, and that they'll be understanding if you do.

I don't really play games, or pokemon go, but I've heard so much about it and it's pretty cool that you're into a game that influenced it! I don't mind hearing more about it if you want to talk about it, though. Scrapbooking sounds really fun, and is something I wanted to get into, but I can never decide what to scrapbook about :o

Funny... right after I bought a week pass for GA, I found I had locked a token for it in my inventory from the box prior to when I left. LOL

I scrapbook about my life. I've made a "perpetual project" called New Life where each scrapbook album has chronological memories of my life since the breakup. It has filled up two D-ring 12x12 albums so far. I'm caught up about a few months ago, but I need to wait until payday before I order more photo prints from Costco. So maybe I'll just color scheme in advance and just attach the photos with adhesive later when I'm bored xD

Ingress is basically geocaching meets capture the flag. Two teams going against each other to influence an ongoing storyline. Basically aliens left an unknown substance in Europe and scientists are trying to figure out what to do with it. Do they study it and let society learn from it (Enlightened, green), or do they leave it alone because it's dangerous (Resistance, blue)? You pick a faction. There is no right or wrong, but each metro area has its own thing. Like some places have drama in one faction where the other faction will have drama somewhere else. If you can't stand your team after realizing that, you can request a faction switch. We've gotten Enlightened agents to switch to us because of that. haha. I've actually been to 4 of the anomaly series. They're basically tournaments. I've been all over the west coast for them. They're so much fun!

Lol cathartic moments... I just found more scrapbook pages with him/mentioning him and I can't wait to take them out with the trash. xD

Welcome back :)

I don't think I knew you before and I now change my name once a year so...yeah...

I am glad that you have moved on. I've never been in an abusive relationship before and the only emotional abuse I get is from my dad. Hoping to move out in a year or two but can't now because money.

My profile says 8.5 years. haha! WOW! Almost a DECADE!

Yeah, the lack of privacy from family is driving me mad and I'm saving like a maniac to GTFO... I probably make just enough to get by each month and I cannot have roommates. I need to be alone until further notice.... partially because of my personal life.... I'm sure there's people out there that wouldn't mind it, but I don't know how many of them would be cool around my family. I still want to be on their good side. haha

Rooting for you!

I'm on SSI and fiance is on disability. We're planning to move into a place for the disabled.

The place provides jobs so I'll finally get one (hoping for the dog place as I adore animals, even birds when they decide to use any part of my body as a toilet). One reason I got on SSI was because I kept on being refused jobs most likely because of my disability. I can do interviews like a pro and know the tricks of them.

My current 'job' is doing writing commissions. I also earn a little with Patreon (I do blog work and a webseries) each month. But both things don't provide anywhere near enough to provide for myself much less move outXD

Good luck to you too!

Living with parents all the time...very good motive to move out, though.

Welcome back! I remember you as Seans_Girl

I remember you, too!

welcome back