jk i can lock it myself

Ahhhh, I really like him! The Assassin's Creed games with Desmond are my favorite. What a poor baby. ;o;

The page looks super good! I enjoy the story as well, since it adds to the games, rather than explain them or something. I think that the setting needs to be established earlier on in the piece, however. Maybe add more of his own dialogue? What he'd say at the beginning of the recording, or something. I also dislike the following sentences at the end:

Breathing in, he stretched his arms above his head and grabbed the opposite end of the stone surface. Desmond let go of a muffled scream of frustration before letting go and sitting up.

Stone surface is a distracting way to say desk or table. Also, you use the phrase "let go" twice and it sounds redundant.

Otherwise, I like his page a lot. (: Good luck!

Absolutely the games with Desmond were so much... more than these new ones. I just loved him as a character on top of the others. I really think what they did with him was the worst decision ever. What ever happened to the "Eve" of the story!?

Anyway, I really appreciate the feedback! Thanks so much for your help :D I fiddled with the story a bit after what you said, but I'm probably going to work on it a little more. Maybe I'll lengthen it to make room for his whole speech.