I do, often. Usually when my depression is worst. I wish I could just take what means the most to me and head out into the world and... I don't know, just see something I guess. Have an expirence that is not the same lonely life and pointless job that I have every day. I think maybe it's a part of my tendancy to feel suicidal, it's a way of ending your life, just not the whole thing. That make sense to anybody else?

I'm also in the middle of reading Nobody Is Ever Really Missing, which is about a woman who walks out of her life and goes to New Zealand. That may be making it worse.

But anyway, I'm gloomy to listen to, anybody have their own fantasies about hitting the open road?

F*ck ya. I want to move so badly out of this building because my downstairs neighbours are psycho. Maybe I'll eventually move out of this city, who knows.

luckily for me the psycho neighbour moved out. Sadly the ones who moved in have a toddler who never stops screaming. Not throwing a fit type screams either, although he does that well too, but just constant shrieking for the sake of doing so.

I totally get you. I feel that way a lot of the time too and it's definitely a depression related thing. Hopefully things will get better for you! I'm really hating where I live right now and living in a shitty environment really takes a toll on mental illnesses. Maybe one day you will be able to move somewhere better! I am moving at the end of August so every day here seems really dreary.

Thanks, same for you. I'm planning on going back to University not this fall but next, so I'm kind of stuck for the time being because that is going to cost a lot of money. But hopefully it will pay off and having the degree will help me to get somewhere else.

It's also kind of worse right now because one of my friends who travels a great deal just started a blog that is dedicated to how great she's doing in her mid-twenties and mocking everyone who's not. One of the moments of 'yes, this is exactly what I need. Another reminder of how not-good my life is.'

I used to, back before I actually did it. I don't anymore. For me, at least, it was definitely a "grass is greener on the other side" scenario. Instead of just being bored and depressed, leaving lead to me being bored, depressed, lonely and scared. Definitely just made things worse.

I still love travelling, and I plan on doing as much of it as I can - but vacations only. I won't ever again just pick up and leave with no intention of ever returning (for the record, I totally did return, I just hadn't intended to when I originally left).

Of course this is just my experience. Your mileage may vary.

Oh yes, I totally feel you on this one. I have fantasized about this I was about 8 years old - around the same time when I started feeling suicidal, so I see the link here. It's kind of like ending your life, as in, your current life and everything that seems to suck about it so much, and starting over clean, if that makes sense? Of course it doesn't change anything about crappy brain chemistry, but the idea is nice, inventing yourself over again.

It became less when my life started sucking less. Moving out helped a lot. Also, I'm starting uni in the city I always wanted to run away to, so that might also help.

yeah, the thing that prevents me from actually trying it is that I figure it will probably create more problems than it solves. Travelling is undoubtedly much more practical but sadly unachievable through responsible means right now.

sometimes I think it's like a kind of survival mechanism or something. The brain's last ditch attempt to prevent suicide. That or maybe some kind of expression of wanting to get rid of all the things that make the depression worse. I'm headed back to Uni in a year too, but still in the same town.

Yes, frequently. I wish my life were different, so I'm trying to change that. I've been doing this thing for almost ten years and my boyfriend of four years recently broke up with me. I wish I hadn't been so complacent about his feelings for me or my personal situations re: being independent. Now, I'm caught between wanting to disappear and to leave completely. They're similar enough concepts!

I'm real sorry to hear that, I had the same thing with a guy I was with almost 5 years and was actually engaged to at one point. I was pretty much his back up plan for over four years and he left because he finally found someone else to put up with him. I hope you get to move on quickly and feel better.

I've had this feeling more often than I would like to admit. If I wasn't so scared of the world as a teen, I would have run away or have been dead. Even over the last few years, I've had the feeling to just walk forever and see where it would take me.

While the feeling isn't as extreme now, I still want to get away from this area to see if there's better opportunities out there. I feel like being stuck at the parents' house and in the area I live in hold me back so much. While I want to keep my fiance and friends, I still want to have a fresh start somewhere else.

I know the feeling of wanting to get out of living with your parents. When my relationship fell apart I had to move 'home' because I didn't have anyone else I could move in with. I pay rent to live here and while it's a lot less than I would pay to live anywhere else sometimes I would be willing to be broke all the time just to have the freedom to live on my own schedule.

- I'm sorry you also are living with bleh parents. I hope you manage to find a way out soon. ;^;

Thanks, I don't mind living with my mum but I did get used to not being the 'kid' in the house.

It's always a possibility if you can pick a place on the map and communicate with an employer there. I recommend checking out Craigslist for the area, what jobs are in demand and how much is average rent and cost of living. Since you're still working on college I recommend doing everything to get as much valuable experience as possible, which will translate to a more valuable resume.

Storytime! I've definitely suddenly picked up and moved away out of depression before. Right after graduating college I was so anxious to get a job and move out of my parents' house... I also don't deal with heartbreak well and have been suicidal in the past because of it. So when a special someone said he wanted to end things with me, I ended up moving 600+ miles away with no car or friends and worked a full-time blue-collar job for a whole year while making some of the best money I've ever made. I feel wiser because of it, but it was super lonely and there were definitely moments I felt that if I died, no one back home would know. I don't think I would have lasted another winter there. It drove me crazy thinking I might never see my family or friends again, or that everyone would change drastically without me. I ended up moving back and haven't found such a great job since. Now I'm about to do the same again in a couple weeks but with a car and no job yet this time. Hopefully better equipped to handle things now being three years older.

Thank you for the reply -- it is still a bit fresh in my thoughts, of course. I've always looked for job openings in Washington state in hopes of moving away from here. What really keeps me here? I guess it would be a bit like and realize I miss my friends. Anyway, I'm thinking about doing summer work in France if I can hone my speaking/hearing French.

I get that feeling every now and then, where i just want to get up and go, ill get on google maps and just click on all these random places and imagine going there, when it gets really bad ill kinda plan a quick vacation somewhere even if i dont have the money ill just put it on my credit card and that kinda stalls the urge, i havent had it in awhile though, i just moved to a new city lol

that sounds like an awesome opportunity, I hope it goes well for you

I finally earned a useable amount of vacation time at work so I am debating planning a quick trip somewhere in the hopes it will soothe that travel itch. My brother is with a youth tour of Poland right now and making me super envious so I might try a quick trip somewhere myself, depending how much it's going to cost. Hope you're enjoying your new city.