So I finally wrote up the first chapter of a story that's been in my head for a while now. Here's a link. I want to get opinions bc these characters are really important to me and I want to make sure they're portrayed well. It's a comedy/fantasy story with LGBT friendly elements about a war in Hell.

Understand I correct chapter one introduce in the first place the protagonists?

What strikes me is that you are describing their appearance clearly. I wonder if their appearance even further will become a relevant issue in the following chapters.

Correct and correct :)

You have a gripping premise that I imagine would be very fun and rewarding to explore. You have a writing style that reads well, so all that's really left to work on is how you tell the story.

What you have now reads a little like a synopsis. Introducing characters and the plot by telling, not showing, is an easy trap to fall into. (The prologue trap, put simply.) A story should start with action that immediately grabs your reader's attention to draw them in.

The simplest suggestion I could make would be to start right at the news program, and introduce Max and Anna as they appear in the natural progression of the story, more akin to how you introduced Victor.

From what you have it looks like it will shape out to be a gripping adventure. I can't help but wonder if Max will get himself free from his familial shackles or learn just how appropriate he is for the job?