Pet Story Critique?
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Could I have someone take a look at Castellanus and give me some feedback? This is the first draft on him (banged together that bit in a half hourish), and I'm going to be tweaking him a lot until I'm ready to get him a profile and get to working on his treasure.
Thanks so much!
" Okay, so you’ve made some bad decisions. You’ve hurt people. You’ve hurt yourself. You’ve stumbled through life from one self-inflicted disaster to the next without anything even approaching a plan. To which I say: welcome aboard. Maybe you’re not good... but you’re sure as hell good enough. "
T-T So sad.
If the priests knew the truth about Castellanus's feelings, though, why not send the farmhand to a different village, or at least try to kill him in a more secretive way? And if Castellanus could see what happened from so far away, why didn't he notice the plans earlier and try to save the farm boy?
Given the style of the writing, great attention to these details probably isn't necessary. However, when I read an ending I don't like I tend to grill it. I hope this feedback helps. :)
T-T So sad.</p>
<p>If the priests knew the truth about Castellanus&;s feelings, though, why not send the farmhand to a different village, or at least try to kill him in a more secretive way? And if Castellanus could see what happened from so far away, why didn&;t he notice the plans earlier and try to save the farm boy?</p>
<p>Given the style of the writing, great attention to these details probably isn&;t necessary. However, when I read an ending I don&;t like I tend to grill it. I hope this feedback helps. :)
This is super helpful, thank you! I don't always see the obvious things, so extra eyes help.
" Okay, so you’ve made some bad decisions. You’ve hurt people. You’ve hurt yourself. You’ve stumbled through life from one self-inflicted disaster to the next without anything even approaching a plan. To which I say: welcome aboard. Maybe you’re not good... but you’re sure as hell good enough. "