I am having a really hard time right now because I want to draw SO badly, and want to be good at it, but it makes me so angry that I feel like it's detrimental to my health. I try to draw from a reference, and I can hold the drawing over the reference and the lines look VERY close, but when I bring it away, the drawing looks deformed and nothing like the reference and it just makes me so angry. I always see cool things in my mind and wish I could bring them to life, but I just don't have the patience. It's terrible. I wish I was kidding when I say this, but I literally get so angry that I become irrational and want to hurt myself. I never have, but drawing always ends in tears and hyperventilating for me.

I used to be able to draw, and my severe anger issues would come out in other aspects of my life, but now drawing just stresses me out so badly that I even though I desperately wish I could do well, I can't seem to practice without getting angry. Does anyone else have this problem? Or maybe had this problem and found a way to cope with it?

At some point, my drawing skills began to decline as opposed to improve, because I went from being happy with what I could do to being upset that I couldn't draw as well as I wanted. I finally just had to stop drawing altogether. I turned to writing instead, because that was something I felt comfortable and confident with. Eventually I moved on to a different medium for my artwork (the vector graphics software Inkscape) that allowed me to create without expecting perfection. Now, a solid 5 years later, I am beginning to draw by hand again. Mostly I do little thumbnail-type sketches, experiments for different elements of the kinds of drawing I'd like to do, and just random doodles. I can see improvement (mostly in my understanding of shapes) even though I haven't really drawn in a long time.

You should take a step back. You don't have to stop studying the craft. Hoard tutorials, hoard references, make collages of inspirations, doodle, but don't try to do "finished" work until you can draw them without be disappointed when it's not exactly what's in your head. I don't think any artist ever really achieves that. The most successful have learned to keep an open mind about the finished product. Eventually, with lots and lots of practice, they figure out what the finished product is most likely to look like and that is their style. This process is painfully slow if you are perfectionist because it makes it super difficult to practice. (Trust me, I'm a perfectionist. LOL)

Also, just like in writing, finished pieces are usually the result of several "drafts"... I don't know how many step-by-steps I have seen where the first image is just a bunch of squiggly lines that just kinda roughly outline the shape. Even with reference, it is multi-step process to figure out which parts are needed and which parts aren't. With that in mind, I have found that it a little bit easier to accept imperfection if I don't look at my work as the final version and just try to create the best work-in-progress possible. That way those imperfections don't seem quite so disastrous. -nods-

Hmm I am not good at this but here is what I think. Looking different is good. And perfection in art does not exist. No matter how good, EVEN when trancing,more so with referencing, your things will look different and that is wonderful. That is how everyone's styles were created. If your hand is pulling you in a different direction follow it. Never do art to stress yourself out and never impose rules on it, limits and such. Remember, being able to do something anything is wonderful in itself. Never do art as a chore. Do it when you are happy and draw what makes you happy. Things will take a different turn depending on each day. At some points it might look worse at others it will get all of a sudden better. It's a roller coaster. Relax and enjoy the ride. Each day I look forward to seeing what will happen. One day art will look great, another kindergarten like. But it is amusing. It is still art and it is still siting on my paper. Not like a stick doll, but as a wonderful piece that effort and love was poured into.

But I am also very idealistic in thinking and am unsure if this will do you any good.

, I'm sorry to hear that drawing has become so stressful for you! But I have a few thoughts that might be comforting to hear. :) (Sorry if I get rambly!)

I remember hearing something years ago that really resonated with me, and I can't really remember how it goes but it was something like this: The fact that you are unhappy with your work shows that you have good taste in art, and it means you have the ability to improve. Trust me, the LAST thing you want is to be that egocentric jerk whose art has plateaued- I know from personal experience. Making mistakes is important, because they allow you to LEARN. You also need to let yourself make those mistakes, and be patient and forgiving to yourself. No one is born an art master, they have to put blood, sweat, and tears into becoming one. Speaking of which...

NEVER compare your progress to other artists! Seriously. The important thing to remember is that what people decide to share with others is usually their best work. So you get to see the finished product, but you don't get to see the pages and pages of awkward studies that went into learning how to make that finished product. ( made a great point about this!) Michelangelo burned his sketches so people would only remember his masterpieces.

Also, while studying and practicing is all well and good, it's also important to take a break once in a while. Get a little self indulgent. Heck, get REALLY self indulgent. Draw what makes you happy. Don't worry about improving and have some fun. When I get stressed what I really like to do is abstract painting, but that's just me. Find something that works for you. :)

Perhaps doing some vent art would be a good route for you? Just get those angry feelings out onto the drawing. It doesn't have to be "good", you don't even have to show it to anyone if you don't want to. But having strong feelings behind art sometimes produces the most interesting pieces!

And echoing what Aeon says: keep learning! If finished pieces stress you out, focus on sketches and tutorials for a while. There's no rush to get to any particular skill level. Doing art should make you feel better, not worse!

try to find a way to just enjoy the act without focusing too much on the final product. If you don't enjoy the act of art itself, it's really hard to keep yourself motivated. Also, like others have mentioned, not everything you make will be good (even if you're an amazing artist). My art professor used to equate art to baseball. If you hit a home run every once in a great while you're doing pretty good.

The other thing I think is good to keep in mind is that in art you have to work on improving both your eye and your skill. Right now your eye is better than your skill, so you're seeing all the mistakes but that means that you can start to work on them. Eventually your skill will catch up to your eye, and then hopefully your eye will get better so you can go through the whole process again! Which might sound frustrating but there's no end goal in art, I think it's good to always aim to improve but that also means accepting that you might always look back at something you've done and think it's bad. I normally try to find something I like about a piece no matter how much I've grown past it. Like, if I drew something years ago and look at it and think "that's crap" I'll try and pick out something like how I drew one particular spot really well and try to see merits in it.

Anyway, I'm kind of just rambling now and I'm not sure if any of this is helpful but good luck! :)

(as a total side note, I've found the holding a drawing over a real picture thing never works. It always looks weird because there's more to real life than just lines, there's shading and light and volume and yadda yadda, it's hard to boil that all down into just lines and have it look perfect)

I dunno if anyone else mentioned it here but when drawing from a reference, you're not supposed to trace it directly. You're not learning anything, you're just copying. When you use a reference, you should be looking at the quality of the pieces you're looking at. How do the muscles flex when the arm is bent this way, do they make a bump of muscle through the skin? This fabric is silky so it drapes differently than a stiffer fabric would. Take a step back from the copying, really LOOK at the image and don't just think okay he's posed like this so I need to draw this. Don't think of it as something to copy directly. Use it as inspiration and as REFERENCE for how things fall, how a hand looks when it's flexed, what kind of muscles and bones protrude in certain poses, how fabrics lay on people and objects because of what they're made of, how shadows and light fall on things differently and reflect differently.

You're going to get frustrated, it's part of the process. But I think what's bothering you is that you feel like you can't copy the references exactly and have them come out exactly like the reference. Which isn't the point of references.

I think this artist, especially this video, will really help you out on that stand: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30BOsR_tzYA

Maybe once you learn to step away from that, you can find drawing more enjoyable. Maybe you need to start drawing for the sake of drawing. It doesn't matter if it looks bad. Don't draw with the intent of posting and sharing it. Draw with the intent of drawing SOMETHING and maybe learning something. Draw with the intent of messing up and learning what looks good. Ask people for red lines and critique but don't expect to finish the drawing. That's how you learn.