Jastine is a character I have been meaning to develop and bring life to for years. I am still trying to get back into the groove of writing, so I was curious to know how her story in the making comes off to other's. Thank you for any feedback! Constructive criticism welcome, I do appreciate it.

wow that was really good. one problem the second line should be rewritten to have an and instead of a comma. otherwise it was great

Thank you! I know, I debated that for awhile. I just hate using 'and' too much. :( Maybe 'then' could work? Agh, I don't know haha.

then could work and don't worry about having to many ands. if they are needed use them

What a start! I like how you begin your story with some action. And with just a few words it is absolutely clear what's happening. I think this is very well done.

What made me.. well.. laugh a little was God's answer to her question what happened. She seems to be in a progress of waking up and realizing what happens to her, asking very short questions. And he says: Oh he did this, and that, and these cruel things, and, and, and... Even when in massive pain I guess she felt what happened to her. This is only my personal feeling, but this seems a little awkward to me. I see how you want to make the reader know what happened exactly. This is just a suggestion, but what do you think about adding a short part of direct speech for Jastine? Maybe something like: God answering with the fiend's guilty pleasure story, then she can remember a few of the things that happened and then he tells her how he restored her body, except for the eyes.

I hope this was a little helpful. But if you leave everything like it is I still think that this is a very good start.

Have a nice day! Kassy

Thank you so much for the feedback guys! And yes, I see how it is a tad awkward. I am just trying to keep it to the point really. Aghh. I may find a way to alter it! I will have to sit on it for now. :3

Edit; I have reworked God's explanation to her question.. Hope you like it!