I'm really liking this story so far, any ideas on how to continue and/or feedback? c:

[spoiler=WIP]

Breathing in his puff of tobacco, Stump's eyes grew glassy as the nicotine settled in his capillaries. His eyelids grew heavy, closing halfway as he hit a temporary high. Stump gave his fellow men around the makeshift poker table crooked smile. The young man across from him smiled back but with a hint of hesitance. Then each man laid their cards down. One man, the one to the left, gasped. Another, the one to the right, simply shrugged. And the young man on the opposite side of Stump narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"Congrats Stump," Groaned the man who shrugged as he began to empty his wallet to the point of it being bare. He then gazed through the rising smoke from Stump's cigarette and whispered in a low voice, "Hey Stump, mind if I keep a dollar or two, you know, for my fare home?"

"Sure," Stump replied.

"I'll pay you back, you know, next time?"

"Nah," Stump said with a wink, "Don't worry about it, Jack."

Jack kept a couple dollar bills and bid his goodbyes, so that he could catch the late bus. Then Dave, man who gasped, was invited to a bit of small talk with Stump before excusing himself from the table to get another drink. Afterwards, when he suspected that no one was really watching him, Stump snuck sticking a piece of briefly chewed gum to the  bottom of the table, but the young man across for him happened to notice. And without saying a single word, Stump winked at him before joining Dave and the bartender at the counter. 

Naturally, the young man grew curious. He was well aware that Stump was down here at the bar almost every night excluding Sunday. If he placed gum beneath the table every night, the thing must be covered the disgusting mixture of Stump's saliva and sweet sugar. The man rested his hand upon the table and exerted his weight in order to glance under the table. 

Unsurprisingly, he was correct, the thing was covered with gunk, but he didn't expect to see was that the wads of chewed gunk were severing a purpose. With the exception of the freshest one, they each held a playing card.

The same four men from the previous night took the same seats around the same makeshift poker table. Each intently focused on their current hand, though there was the occasional pair wandering of eyes to the neighboring players face to examine their expressions. Dave and Jack simply stared each other down for a good minute or two. Stump leaned back slightly in his seat as his hand disappeared under the table. The young man him gave a dirty look. When Stump's attention came back to the game he noticed the young man's glare and chuckled.

"You younglings," he said with a smile, "always taking things to seriously."

The young man remained unfazed in his glower. Stump shifted uncomfortably with both his torso and his eyes. Something was most definitely off, but he couldn't put a finger on what it was exactly. With the game coming to a close, the players prepared to lay down their cards. Suddenly, a fist slammed the table. 

"Damn it!"

Everyone's attention turned to the young man whose face was full of an odd irked emotion. A vein bulged from under the facial skin of his forehead. His face trembling. Not with fear, but rage. Jack scooted his chair away from the table, weary of what would happen next. Dave took out his cell phone, expecting a sudden  outburst of violence between the drunk and the mad. 

"I can't take it anymore!" The young man hollered causing the whole bar to some to an awkward silence as a few of the people's eyes fell upon the poker table.

"Take what, exactly?" Jack asked.

"Stump!" He cried, "He's been cheating the whole time!"

The onlookers gasped at the rising drama as their eyes turned to the accused. Stump shrugged his shoulders and slowly shook his head. A voice in the back suddenly demanded for a fight, and eventually the whole bar joined in. 

"Fight! Fight! Fight!"

The young man rolled up his sleeves before rising from his seat. Stump sank in his. There was no way he could take on a twenty year old at the age of fifty.[/spoiler]

What you have so far is good, but I do have some feedback for you.

Thanks sooo much!

I added a bit more to the story, but I'll try finishing it first before updating this post. c:

Can't wait! Your writing is really good.

I agree with Madman's feedback :) Great detail in this story! (Meaning, I cringed reading about the gum under the table, eeeew!) Once it's finished, I can proofread it again for grammar/spelling if you want. I'm good at it, since it's basically what I do for a living XD

[edit] omg Stump is the PERFECT species for this story XD

Aw, thanks bud!

[edit]

Here is some more...

Yay, for being stuck again!

It is very good! Makes me want to keep reading. Is this part of a larger story or is that it?

Thanks! <3

I'd like to go for something a bit longer, I don't feel like anything is really resolved yet...

Where is Stump going and how does he feel about the situation? Why did Dave help him?

I added more to Stump's profile, since apparently the entire story is too long to put as a reply on this forum post. xD

That is really good. It shows Stump's character really well. He's a liar and a cheat. It makes me want to know more about him. Why is he like that? Was he really a Vietnam veteran?

I've made a few more edits, but I've finally got the final version, it answers a few more questions like why is Stump called Stump and if he really was a vet.

I can update the profile with the final draft, if you want...

Also thanks so much for your help!

I ended up submitting this story for a contest! :D

[edit] Damn it, forgot to add a title...

Glad I could help!