A MAN AND HIS WIFE....
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Hi. So I did this thing at work and very obviously very bored with a co-worker of mine and a thing happened. Thought I would share it, perhaps some thoughts or you know. Note that this started on my idea of writing to my coworkers as a pen pal... I am Benedict, yes the name is obviously unoriginal but someone gave me the idea when I asked for an English man's name. ANYWAY. Enjoy and feel free to uh, comment and concerns...also critique is welcome. PERHAPS IDEAS FOR A SEQUEL.
Dearest Catherine,
It has come to my attention that the war might never end, my thoughts go out to you and our children. I miss the warm fire and your honey baked rolls, the sweet smell of your delectable perfume in the morning next to my beside. The only thing I can smell now is blood. It's everywhere, I can't get it out of my mind, I see red every waking moment. The thought of you is what keeps me sane.
The men are tired, I feel like they're giving up, but we must fight for our freedoms. We must fight to live a life like you and I once did. I'm fighting for you, my love, fighting for us to be together once again. I miss you so.
With love, Benedict C.
My dearest Benedict,
Dude, what are you talking about? You're in the other room playing Call of Duty, Calm the calamity in your mammaries.
Warm Regards,
Catherine
Dearest Catherine,
You don't understand, I am in the war. I can hear their screams in the night, their calls to me as the lights fade from their eyes. Help me, I'm going mad. I can smell you ever nearer, your sweet lips wrap around my mind, telling me to come home, but I can't yet. I must finish this war, I must finish this fight once and for all. For Washington, for the country, FOR THE FREEDOMS!
With great love,
Benedict
Benedict,
If you think you're getting out of dinner with my boss so you can play another campaign with that jackass Steve, you are sadly mistaken.
Sincerely,
Catherine
My lovely Catherine,
We are so very close, I've lost a couple of limbs and I hope you don't leave me for it. We have to carry on, Carry on even if they have to carry us home. I'll be there my sweet, I promise, but not yet. I have a score to settle. And Steve? Don't worry of him, he is my partner, my companion, my wing man, I need him here until the very end. But you more, wait for me my love, please.
Best regards,
Benedict
My love Benedict,
If you're late, you'll be losing the other two limbs, and I'm sure your dearest comrade wouldn't mind nursing you back to health while you look for another place to stay.
Awaiting your return,
Catherine
My fair Maiden Catherine,
I only have two limbs remaining, I do not wish to be a cripple in all sense of the word. If I have to get my best steeds to race every man on the planet to be there in time, I promise you I will. And when I do get there, let us marry. Let us make it official; till death do us part. My love for you is undying; unyielding, my sweet fair, Catherine.
With all my love,
Benedict
Benedict,
Steve just texted me. I am logging on your server. You are about to lose those other limbs, your lives, and your ammo. You are going down, and not just on your dearest comrade.
Catherine
Catherine,
My love...You have joined the war? But why, you are a woman, you should be at home with the children, nursing them until my return. You should be weeping for me that I may die at any moment. And now you have joined the other side? AGAINST me? All for this "boss" who I wonder now if you're having an affair with?
Regards,
Benedict
Benedict,
Speak not to me of affairs, my dearest Benedict. It is apparent that our love holds not a candle to the flames of the war. This will decide the fate of our union, the future of our people. I will weep but tears of joy in the end.
Prepare yourself,
Catherine.
Catherine,
My blood boils now, you betrayed your own country, your own founding fathers, the ones whoa re making this country for you, for us. This IS war now, even if I have to slay you and our people down, I will. I will win this fight that was already started. I will make you weep tears and I will soak them into my body, becoming even stronger.
Benedict
Benedict,
Boom. Headshot. Okay, come to dinner, babe. Love,
Catherine.
Catherine,
my love, I am slain. You win and I will bow my head in shame and do as you request.
Benedict
END
I also wonder if this is in the right place ;x
I'm not sure if it's "the right place," but it's certainly funny. xD