I'm in an IRL writer's circle, and this came up and got me thinking (note, please, that this is in the context of fully original works and NOT fan fiction).

One member has a crush on the leader of our writer's circle. The problem is that he's almost twice her age and already married. She's taken to writing thinly veiled stories about the two of them where he's the protagonist and she's the love interest. It has gotten to creepy levels, and we're taking steps about it.

One other member commented that writers shouldn't use real people in their fiction, especially in ways that misrepresent them. She said that writers should always invent their characters and basically implied that writers shouldn't base fictional characters off of real people. And that I'm not sure I agree with.

So I am wondering everyone else's thoughts.

I mean, I've seen plenty of fiction writers give cameos to friends and family. Christopher Paolini gave his little sister a cameo in Eragon. And even Chaucer used someone he knew in Canterbury Tales. So where is the line drawn? Obviously, writers can only write what they know. And intentional or not, it's very possible that eventually some of their characters are going to resemble some people they know. So what if it's intentional? Is it okay to base a fictional character on a real person as long as the character is portrayed positively? What if it's a negative portrayal? Say a writer portrays the bully in the story based off of a real bully the writer went to school with? Is it okay if the writer changes it up such as by giving the fictional character a different name and appearance but is otherwise the same? What is the writer grossly misunderstands the real person and thus the fictional character winds up nothing like the real counterpart? Or what if the writer includes the tongue-in-cheek disclaimer that "this is a work of fiction and any relations to real people or real events is coincidental"?

And what about permissions? Should the writer ask the real person for permission to base a fictional character off him or her? If it's a positive portrayal? If it's a negative portrayal? If it's only a tiny bit character? What is the writer wants to surprise a friend by honoring him or her with a role in the book? If in the end there's only a few similarities between the real person and the character? To what extent should the fictional character resemble the real person to prompt asking permission? What if the real person is dead? Or what if the writer has no way of contacting the real person--say the person is someone from the writer's childhood?

Thoughts? This has been weighing on my mind.

(Adding an explanation to the beginning of this post: I meant "you" to be a general "you", but because I didn't specify that it appears I am directing my answer at the OP. That wasn't my intention and some other time I probably would have phrased my post differently because I realize using "you" makes it appear specific to whoever is reading it or in this case, the particular person I pinged. -feels bad but leaves the post intact-)

I would say that there is no problem when you are simply inspired by an individual, building a unique character while including a few aspects of the person in question. So, if there is only a few similarities between the real person and the character, as long as those similarities aren't specific to the individual (i.e. name, street address, etc.), you shouldn't have to ask permission, in my opinion.

If you plan to represent their full likeness, then I think it is better to err on the side of caution even if it is a positive portrayal of a dear friend, either by asking their permission before you begin or by letting them review and approve your interpretation before you publish the story.

If the real person is dead, then I think it depends on your familiarity with the person in question. Their loved ones should be asked instead, unless you are one who was closest to them. Even then, if you feel like you should ask approval from someone else, then it is probably best to do so and then you can proceed at your own discretion depending upon their response.

If it's someone from your past and you can't contact them/their loved ones then it is better to limit the traits you include if you think they might recognize the likeness, especially if you think they would be upset. (see: my first paragraph)

As for the disclaimer, I don't know how much good it actually does... Whether it's particularly effective as any kind of defense, legal or otherwise. It's certainly not a fool-proof safeguard meant to allow writers to slander other people in their literature. If it makes you feel better, then I don't suppose it would hurt to use it as long as you don't try to abuse it.

Thanks for the thoughts. But you don't have to tailor this to me, using "you" pronouns. I was speaking generally about writers everywhere, not specific to my case nor any plans I have for my own works.

It was meant to be a general "you", not you specifically. I should have stated as much or phrased the post differently. I apologize if I offended you; that was not my intent.

It wasn't offensive, I was just pointing out that the mass list of scenarios mentioned above as questions don't necessarily apply to me. I get uneasy when I can't tell if people are thinking of me in a way I'm not or not.

Though I am curious about other people's thoughts on the matter. Not even just as writers, but as readers as well. Like, as a reader, how does a story read if characters have real-life counterparts? I'm going to use Harry Potter as an example. How would it feel if it's later revealed that Draco Malfoy's worst traits were based off of Rowling's school bully? What if we knew Albus Dumbledore was a real life mentor she really respected and put in her stories to honor him? What if Molly and Arthur Weasley represented her ideal marriage relationship? Or what if she put herself as Molly and her unrequited real life love as Arthur? And again, most of the questions above. What if the resemblance is only skin-deep? What if it's very clearly the living person written into fiction? At what point does it cross the line? If writers should never use real people, as the member of my writer's circle implied, how do writers even give their characters realistic quirks?

I think it's a tad preposterous to think writers don't use outside influences, specifically real life people, to assist in character creation. Mannerism, reactions, quirks - what's a better way to incorporate them into a character than actually seeing them portrayed in reality? I think there's a difference though between influence, picking traits and quirks, over blatant self-insertion into a story.
You're in an interesting situation because you can easily call out the author in question for using self-inserts since you know the person. However, I think even someone that reads the writing and doesn't know the author, poor characterization would still probably be apparent.

As far as being a reader, however, I don't think my perception of a story changes all that much if the character is based on someone or not. If I think the author has created a well-written character, knowing they're based on a childhood bully isn't really going to change my perception that I found the character to be engaging and realistic. In regards to only using positive portrayals - I like flawed characters. If I only see the positives of someone, well, I'm going to get bored. People aren't perfect so why should characters also be perfect?

I actually really love this discussion.

I think it's fine to base characters off real people, and I'd say that's quite a common thing for writers to do, at least to some extent. And sometimes you can't help it and the character just ends up reminding you of someone anyway. But I think, if done well, even the person you're writing about shouldn't be able to tell it's them, which makes it seem ok to me. You shouldn't have to ask their approval to write something. In my opinion, if you're writing for yourself, it's nobody else's business what you do.