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Nov 22, 2014 11 years ago
Thunderbird
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So I want to do a fanfic (two, actually) in the future. One is a one-shot smut piece that I'm going to get feedback for on a more adult-oriented website that is an AU, while the other is a M-rated fanfic that I plan to post on Fanfiction.net.

Below is the fan character profile that I have so far. I wanted to flesh out my latest character's profile. I've taken two Mary Sue Litmus Tests for her thus far (including the Universal one), and in both, so far, she's scored low and not within Sue-range. Around 15, to be exact, probably due to the backstory elements and relationship(s) with the canon(s) I've included.

And just as a side note, this character is nothing like me personally at all. Someone mentioned to me that she read like a "wish-fulfillment self-insert", but I want to write the story not just as a love story, but as a mystery/action/adventure one. i.e., while a lot of the story will be relationship development, I want some focus to be on the plot with the F.B.I. that's mentioned at the bottom as well.

What I'm Going for With This Character/Looking for Advice On:

  • representing her as a normal person (as much as possible, including in light of her backstory)
  • stresing her flaws and how it causes conflicts with the canon characters - i.e. not everyone will like her at first - and how she develops/builds her relationships with the canon characters in a believable way
  • correctly and respectfully representing her struggle with depression and other mental health issues (i.e. she does not have depression "because it's cool", it's to explore as a conflict and a plot point)
  • how to write in the New York accent (because honestly, I'm having some trouble with the right amount of accent to compile) / how to write a gangster from the "public enemies" era (1930's)
  • how to write a believable witch (think Elsa from "Frozen", only without control over her abilities, still in the "conceal, don't feel" stage)
  • writing a bittersweet ending and relationship(s) - i.e. the fan character appears to leave for good - while leaving it open for a sequel

fan character and idea This one is for a story for the movie "Casper" (1995) that I'm beginning to write. Note that there are witches in this universe, as seen in the sequel "Casper Meets Wendy".


Name: Clara Elizabeth Crittenden Nickname: "Lambchop" (by her parents), "Dollface" (by Stretch) Born: July 23, 1969 (age 26 - 1995) Hometown: Augusta, Maine (US) Species: Human - later Witch Martial Status: Single Married to: n/a

Appearance: Long, thin, brown, wavy hair that is mostly kept up in a bun or ponytail; brown eyes; Caucasian; pale skin. Tall, slender, long legs, and androgynous looking. Noted by some to "look like a 12-year-old boy" due to being skinny, having thin hips, little to no curves, being mostly muscle, and looking young for her age [mostly in her face, where most of her fat is]. Thus, why Stretch calls her "Dollface". Has high cheekbones, small lips, dark eye sockets, and an often "intense" or serious look or stare. Wears a lot of "male" clothing, with a preference for a vintage look, particularly turn of the century, but also wears light, airy dresses from time to time. 5'6" in height.

Assets: Very intelligent, observational, has a good memory, and is very creative and imaginative. Often thinks outside of the box. Kind, compassionate, patient, and a good listener. Very sensible and logic-based. Later learns that she comes from a bloodline of witches, and has uncontrolled electrokinesis (electricity manipulation) due to it. Her electrokinesis is something she can't really control, and often times fluctuates with her emotions. (Like childhood wandless magic in Harry Potter.)

Flaws: Migraines (frequent); depression; has vivid nightmares and insomnia; stubbornness, bossy; can be overly blunt and harsh with others when irritated. Doesn't work well with others, and often times clashes with them when she does. Sometimes drives people up the wall by asking questions, or prying too much; called "nosy" by some. Often times hides/pents up her emotions and doesn't deal with them when she should. If she gets too intensely emotional and/or physical with a living person, she could possibly seriously shock or electrocute them by touching them. (Her electrokinesis and magic abilities were largely dormant until she moves to Whipstaff Manor.)

Background: Born into the wealthy and prestigious Crittenden family, Clara was the first and only child of Charles Crittenden III and Mary Crittenden, née Cabot [descendant of Mary Bradbury, a survivor of the Salem Witch trials]. She is also the niece of Carrigan Crittenden, the antagonist of "Casper" (1995).

Charles Crittenden III, the wealthy heir of his father and namesake, was vacationing in their summer home in Rockport, Maine, when his wife Mary went into labor. After being rushed to the hospital in Augusta, Clara Elizabeth was born. After Clara's birth, the Crittenden heir and his wife decided to relocate to Maine. Her father, who had expected a son, was disappointed in the birth of a daughter instead. Even while growing up, it was a stigma that Clara never quite escaped. From an early age, she was groomed to be prim and proper, heavily sheltered, and sent to prestigious boarding schools for her education. Meanwhile, her father, a lawyer and Harvard graduate, ran successfully as a Democratic State Representative candidate. Charles Crittenden III, after serving three terms as a state representative, also successfully won a bid for a State Senate seat.

However, she fought with her parents a lot, seeking emancipation at one point. Eventually, she graduated from Kents Hill Academy boarding school, enrolling at the University of Maine Augusta. She earned her B.A. in Architecture after four years of study, and enrolled in the M.A. Preservation Studies program at Boston University. This was against her parents' wishes, as her father had wanted her to become a lawyer and career politician, following in his footsteps.

Most recently, her parents were killed in a car crash while on their way to a vacation in Colorado in June of 1995. Unknown to Clara, her Aunt Carrigan had a hand in the crash that killed both her parents, as Carrigan - Charles' younger sister - wanted to inherit their father's wealth all to herself. The elder Charles Crittenden II, the elderly father of Charles III and Carrigan, was slowly deteriorating in his health, and soon to pass away. Carrigan had hired a hitman to arrange the crash that killed her older brother, the immediate heir, and his wife. After Charles III and his wife were pronounced dead, Carrigan became the next immediate benefactor of their father's inheritance.

However, Charles II, suspecting Carrigan had indeed had a hand in his son's murder, tricked her out of inheriting so much as a single penny. Instead, after he died, he left her a moldy old mansion in Friendship, Maine, named Whipstaff Manor. Meanwhile, Clara attended her parents' funeral, and later received hefty life insurance payouts from their deaths.

A few months later, in November, Carrigan's body was found washed up in the harbor of Friendship. With Carrigan's death deemed a suicide by the local P.D., Clara has received Carrigan's measly inheritance: the run-down Whipstaff Manor. Having recently graduated with her M.A. in Preservation Studies, and armed with her parents' life insurance payouts, Clara has decided to restore Whipstaff Manor to its former glory. While rough estimates from contractors have deemed the Manor would cost millions, eating up much of her the insurance money, Clara is determined to restore Whipstaff. She is also convinced that it is one of the rare works of late, famous Spanish architect Antoni Gaudi, which restored, could be valued far more than the investment she seeks to sink into it.

Current plot: Eventual friendship, and later (not-ending-up-so-happily) romance with Silas "Stretch" McFadden (minor character in the movie). Clara also befriends the other residents of the house - Dr. James Harvey, the parapsychiatrist, who has returned to regular psychiatry; Kat Harvey, Dr. Harvey's 12-year-old daughter; Casper McFadden, the Friendly Ghost; and the other two of the Ghostly Trio, Samuel "Stinkie" McFadden and Frank "Fatso" McFadden. She finds she has to convince the ghosts, who are mostly wary of humans, to allow the restoration of Whipstaff, while also trying to befriend them and gain their trust while doing so.

However, Stretch, leader of the Ghostly Trio, is wary and mistrustful of the human Clara, sensing something off about her - but Clara knows that if she can befriend Stretch, so can she befriend the other two Trio members. She also discovers the hidden past of who the Ghostly Trio were in life, and what eventually caused their ultimate demises. Meanwhile, Clara, suffering from depression, insomnia, and nightmares, becomes one of Dr. Harvey's first patients as she struggles to overcome her afflictions - both mental and emotional.

Meanwhile, a dead body identical in every way to that of Dr. James Harvey is discovered in the manhole outside a bar in New York City, prompting the F.B.I. to begin investigating the good doctor - as well as the mysterious machine, "the Lazarus", within Whipstaff that can reportedly bring people back to life.

I am also considering including in/adding/writing a Beetlejuice/Casper crossover fanfiction where Lydia Deetz meets Dr. James Harvey, probably a one-shot. I'm also looking for ideas on that.

Please Ping me for responses, and thank you so much for your time and consideration! Oh, and please be more sensitive/gentle, or include at least one positive thing in your response, as I'm not used to having others critique my writing. Thanks!


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