I just want to make it clear: I am not done writing this story. I would just really, really like some honest opinions on what I have so far. The short version of the story, which is what will be on Rose's profile, is about 65% done. Please ping me with your opinions!
The Tale of Rose Archer
Rose Archer pushed the bangs falling into her eyes away impatiently as she silently scoured the forest around her for any signs of movement. A slight rustling in the leaves of a nearby tree drew Rose's gaze, but the flash of gray and quiet chattering that accompanied it drew a relieved sigh at the recognition of a common squirrel. With one last glance into the boughs and around the roots of the silent trees, she turned her mount and headed back to the road.
Within minutes she arrived back at the small, dusty track that passed for a main thoroughfare in the tiny kingdom they were traveling through. With the pressure of her heels and a small shift in the way she sat her horse, Rose came to a stop in the middle of the unpaved road and cocked her head, listening to the sounds of the approaching column. The whicker of horses, creaking of axels, and the many shouts and calls of the drivers and guards reached her ears, bringing a smile to her lips. When the near-silent snapping of a twig reached her ears, Rose wheeled Mercury around, drawing her sword and extending her arm to bring the tip to rest against the throat of the mounted man attempting to sneak up behind her.
“Gods, Archer, watch where you stick that thing! You almost slit my throat,†said the man, reaching up to push the tip of his commander's sword away from his neck.
“Relax, Geoff. I knew you were coming before you even rode out of the woods.†Rose said with a small grin. “Besides, you failed to shave this morning. Now you do not have to. And maybe that will teach you to try sneaking up on me,†she said, sheathing Thorn. “Were things clear in your section of the woods?†she said, turning her silvery horse once more to include the three other rangers approaching from the east. The plump deer slung across the rump of Richard's mount promised fresh meat for dinner that night, as did the birds and rabbits dangling from Sara's belt.
The affirmative nods from her guards set Rose's mind at ease. “Good. Try to find a place for the wagons to stop for the night; I did not like spending the night with the wagons strung out along the edge of the road these last two nights. I am going to report to the Queen.â€
The approaching wagons and carts had made progress while Rose had been scouting, but not enough. The rough country they had traveled though for the past week made driving the wagons at more than a crawl a dangerous endeavor, as cracking an axel would result in delays while it was repaired or replaced. Time, unlike gold, was something they could ill afford to spend. With a frustrated sigh, Rose gently pushed her heels into Mercury's sides and leaned forward into her sudden gallop. She pulled up next to the royal wagon, again pleased by the fact that it was practically indistinguishable from the fifty or so other wagons that traveled with them.
The Queen had protested crossing the continent in such a plain conveyance, but the logic of not drawing more attention than was strictly necessary while traveling through potentially hostile foreign countries had finally convinced Her Majesty. After dismounting, Rose brushed the travel dust from her riding leathers, and knocked briskly on the door of the wagon.
“Enter,†came the regal command. With no hesitation, Rose pushed the door open to find her young monarch seated in the dimly lit wooden wagon. “Ah, Archer. Have you come to report?†asked the Queen.
“Yes, Your Grace. The woods are still clear of brigands and soldiers for several miles in all directions in front of us. I decided to report before checking in with the scouts watching the back of the wagon train,†she said. “I really do not understand why we have yet to encounter any soldiers. I know their military is not as organized as ours, and that they are both smaller and poorer than we are, but we have been in their country for days. Why have we not seen any soldiers? And if it was so imperative for them to see you, why did they not come to visit you?†questioned Rose, pacing as much as possible in the confined space.
“Sit down, Archer. I am growing tired simply from watching you,†the Queen said. “I don't know the answers to your questions. All I know is that Phillip and Jane requested my presence, and that riding in this damn wagon is slowly driving me insane,†she finished with a small grin. “However, I do share your concerns. Though I trust that those I have placed under you do not know of them. I made you captain of the Queen's Guard for your discretion as much as for your physical prowess and weapons skills.â€
“No, Your Grace. I have kept my silence with the Guard,†Rose said as she sank down into the chair opposite the smiling queen. “I'm simply concerned, Your Majesty. I do not like that we have not seen a single soul in this country. I do not like the thought of you being in danger to help another country's rulers when those rulers have never done anything to help you. I worry, to put it simply.â€
“I would be most concerned if you were not concerned about the lack or people. It is your job to be concerned for my well being. As to why I have chosen to help these people who have done nothing for me: as you know, this was once a part of our great country of Andorra. It may be again, as we share a border with them and the people of this land are unhappy with their leaders. It may be that the citizens will simply leave, or I may actually acquire the land. Whatever happens, the people will know what kind of life they could have under my rule,†said the Queen in a quiet but firm voice.
“Yes, Your Grace. I understand your compassion, and you know I will do whatever it takes for you to achieve your goals for this trip. I will always do as you command, my just Queen Elizabeth.â€
“Whatever I command?†Elizabeth asked with a small smile. “What if I commanded you to kill a family of peasants who wished no more than to speak to me about an unfair lawman in their province? Or if I wanted you to kill a baby so that it could not grow to challenge my reign?â€
“Well,†Rose said as she took a moment to phrase her answer while looking directly into the gray eyes of Queen of Andorra, “I know you would never do those things. I am not sure you completely understand how fair and wise a ruler you are, or how much faith your people have in you. I have known you since your parents died twelve years ago, and in that time I have never seen you be anything other than a graceful and elegant young Queen,†Rose said as she stood to leave. “There will be fresh meat tonight, and I expect we will arrive at the palace in three days time,†she called over her shoulder as she stepped out of the wagon and into the fading light.
The next three days passed in much the same fashion as the previous three weeks had, the only variation being the amount and type of fresh meat at the evening meal. Though Rose and her ten members of the Queen's Guard scouted for game as they kept an eye out for brigands and soldiers alike, deer seemed to be rare in the rugged and dense forest the group traveled through, and the fresh meat served at the evening meal was often of the avian variety.
It was late afternoon on the third day that a small, dark castle appeared seemingly out of nowhere. The dense forest opened abruptly to create a clearing around the stone walls of the castle. Jagged stumps of hastily cut down trees surrounded the castle on all sides, intermixed with low roofed wooden dwelling that Rose could only assume were the homes of the peasants that worked in and around the castle.