I'd love some feedback. This poem is centered around my pet Kelani, her affinity with fire, and her skills as a Ranger.

Fire light, burning bright. Searing soul Devoured whole. Flame and flare Soul laid bare. Cleanse within, Erase the sin. Whispered bellow, Orange and yellow. Feel the heat The devil to cheat. Cease to bleed Survival's need. Blaze and bite Torch and blight. Eyes of blue Coming for you. Piercing shot Arrow hot. Scorch and sizzle Splutter and fizzle. Dine and feast Deadly beast. Char and feed Hunter's deed.

@ Core279 (because you love reading my stuff :3) (sorry if there's a double ping there, just trying to cover my bases)

Well I'm not one for giving critiques, mainly cause I suck at it, XD

Anyways it pretty good from what I could understand, which is a fair amount since I'm not big on reading poetry...:P

She seems like she could be a source of some healthy and friendly competition for Leith, being he's a Spell-Warrior of Ice... :)

Some of the rhymes just seem forced, its good. But its not my kind of thing.

Hee she's a dungeon crawler as well as a Ranger. Leith might make a good party member, but I dunno if he'd like trundling through trap infested places. :3

Thanks. It's kind of hard to find the right words. I'd welcome suggestions, but since it's not your kind of thing, no pressure. :)

I'm sure he'd grow to like it as at least a test of his skills. :P

I'm intrigued by your choice of style. Short rhyming couplets like that are incredibly difficult, and most of yours sounded very natural. I agree with Nonchalant in that a few of them sounded forced, and one or two had too many syllables, but it's nothing a little rewording can't fix. This style is so interesting. If you're going to put this on your pet profile, something that might be fun to do would be to pair an image with each couplet. I don't know how artistically inclined you are (or how inclined to pay other people for art), but just an idea that popped into my head while I was reading it.

Thank you for the thoughts. I hadn't thought about the syllables. Do you have any thoughts on alternate words? I've hated poetry for most of my life and only recently begun to find a love for it, so I usually focus on what sounds like the right "speed and sound" for each one I write. For this one, short and quick and to the point sounded right. Opposed to, say Nerrow's Dark Predator poem where I envisioned a slower reading, more menacing almost chant-like quality.

Hmm. Images sound kind of nice, but custom CI's, which would be the closest thing i can think of for this poem, get really expensive.

The only part that really needs any work is right here: Whispered bellow, Orange and yellow. Feel the heat The devil to cheat. Both of the second lines in each couplet is too long. To make it flow more evenly, you could do something like, Whispered bellow, Red and yellow. Feel the heat Death to cheat.

Other than that, I think it looks good.

Oooh I like that fix. Thanks for the help. :D

Sure thing! Keep up the good work!

It's very nice but it sounded like a rap song to me. Just a bit. I think you should few more words. More words, more images to be think of. More words, more details of the story you're trying to show.

Keep it up :) ;^)