Wow I'm actually making a lot of threads here lately, it feels like. I feel a bit like an attention whore. Well, in large part I suppose it's because I can't sleep. I've reached that point of night/morning where I'll honestly do more harm to myself if I keep trying to force myself to sleep, because I'll just be more tired during my classes. Ugh.

"You don't want to do that." I've been told this a lot lately...regarding my career path. I've been told I can't/don't/shouldn't honestly want to be what I want to be. When I tell people I'd like a government job, perhaps as a cultural advisor, or perhaps to eventually work as a detective in a large city, a LOT of people, a surprisingly large number of people, promptly tell me I shouldn't want this.

I'm a psychology major, and I'm often told things like "but you should want to HELP people!" ...I do! Why on earth would I want a job with the police if I have no desire to help anyone? Why would I want an intelligence job working as a cultural advisor, where it would be my job to smooth out ruffled feathers and prevent cultural misunderstandings and offense? I do want to help people. ...and I also have a tendency to get to the point of being nigh preachy when it comes to the weak being preyed on by the strong. I cannot sit by and watch the weak and defenseless be beaten down. I've never been able to. Ask any teacher at my elementary school and they'll tell you how many fights I used to get into. Ask the ones that actually cared about the kids there, and they'll also tell you how many of them were me beating the crap out of someone because the little kid they originally went after couldn't defend themselves.

I honestly don't understand this logic. Why should anyone tell anyone they should do/should want to do something else? School is expensive, and ultimately, people are going to want a job where they're happy, and where they feel fulfilled, and in most instances, I don't think anyone can possibly know better for someone than they'd know themselves.

It hurts to hear things like this, too. It REALLY hurts when I'm told I should "want to help people," and should use the psych degree I'm working toward to instead become a counselor or therapist or "something useful like that." Why is it so wrong for me to honestly want to be a cop? Why is it so wrong for me to honestly want to work as a detective?

And then my personal favorite... "But you're too smart for that." To me, that's... just an insult through and through. Ugh.

Anyone else deal with this? How do you put up with this? ...better question, how do you put up with this without losing your temper?

(There are several related jobs I'd like, but interestingly, the one I catch the most flak for is my interest in becoming a detective. When I say intelligence officer/cultural officer, most people just go "oooh cool what's that?" and don't say much more after I explain it. Anything else I've expressed interest in doesn't get much of a response at all. It's ONLY after people hear 'cop' that they fly off the deep end.)

To me it sounds like you've found your calling. Whether or not you have your career picked out, you at least have a clear idea of what field you want to go into. Anyone saying that cops, detectives, and officers don't help people obviously doesn't have an understanding of how the criminal justice system works. I can kind of see where you're coming from though. As of now I'd really like to pursue a career in forensic science because it's something that's fascinated me for years like nothing else ever has.

Don't let anyone tell you what you don't (or do) want to do. I've been told that numerous times and I'll admit, after a while you kind of begin to feel unsure. But nothing anyone could say could get rid of the excitement I'd get from doing science experiments or learning about science. Same with the pure fascination I'd get when reading or watching a program about forensics or my interest in true crime. Those were the things that kept on reassuring me that this is the thing for me to do.

As for the "you're too smart for that" remark I get the exact opposite. When I tell people I'd like to be a scientist, their first response is usually "you can't do that/you're too dumb for that". I usually just let that roll off of me because majority of the time the person saying that hardly knows me, but it still gets to me. People assume that because I'm usually the goofy, charismatic one in the bunch that I'm not the brightest, and I suppose I can understand that. But they don't know that when I'm not around them I'm alone I'm a very serious, hardworking, loner.

But what I'm really trying to say is don't let someone tell you what's right for you, especially if it has such a massive impact on your future.

What the hell is their problem, seriously. There are plenty of people already going into counseling and therapy.

You do what you want and ignore them. In fact, maybe they deserve some pity, since they don't seem to understand how things work. I think being a detective sounds pretty cool, haha. And you can help people in a variety of ways.

i truly HATE when people tell you things like that. when someone tells me that about something i want to do, it just makes me want to do said thing even more. and honestly, you go and do what you want to do because it's your life, not theirs. you aren't making their life choices for them; they don't need to be making yours for you. i'd tell them to eff off.

Every time someone tells you this, just make a mental note to never tell them about anything that matters to you, because their stupidity is just going to tarnish it. They're just projecting. They don't like their job and want others to feel insecure about theirs.

So wait, is this /their/ life they are commenting on? No, it's not. It's your life. And the only person who is going to be living your life is YOU. Your passion and the thing that will make you happiest is a career helping people through police work. Do you want to blaze your own path and go towards what makes you happy, or be miserable in another career someone else chose for you. I think you've already chosen your answer, but I just want to make it clear that you should do what's right for you, and ignore these strange comments you're getting. It's not like you're saying 'lol I want to do drugs forever and never got a job holla.'

Also, the "But you're too smart for that." is bull. I'm pretty sure some random guy off the street could not be a good detective. And you bet your ass detectives can be helpful.

One of my own family members told me "Go to where the money is. Get a job that pays you a lot of money." My response: "I'm going to do what makes me happy. I don't care about money." Honestly, when you are faced with this kind of crap, don't be afraid to politely assert that you've already given much consideration to your career path and are happy with what you are working towards. It's not their business anyway.

So, today we learned that whenever I say I 'can't sleep' and make a thread, I'm probably going to pass out shortly after. Further after classes, I'm probably going to pass out a second time. Go me.

Ahh thank you @

I'm not going to change my mind on my career just because of others saying I should, but it does get very frustrating. I don't know why people get so worked up over it, either. It's one of those things that's both upsetting and confusing. Upsetting because it's often friends saying things like this, (and sometimes with good intentions on their part, even though it's still VERY unappreciated,) and confusing because I've no idea why people react that way at hearing the word 'cop'.

I was talked out of pursuing a liberal arts degree in psychology so I know exactly how you feel. Now I'm going to be in college until I'm like 30 years old just to slowly complete that dream of mine.

Ahhh x-x In my case, I was forced into school initially before I'd figured out what I wanted to do (my mother forced me into pursuing an art degree, initially,) and I wound up changing my major three or four times before I ever figured out what I wanted. I really had no clue until I spent eight months on my own out of school just...freelancing.

I get that a lot, too. I want to be a housewife/stay-at-home mom. To me, nothing sounds better than working hard to make sure my future family has a clean home, clean clothes, and good, healthy food in them. I wasn't raised badly, but I definitely wasn't raised the way I wish I was, so I'm making sure my kids are raised well by being 100% available. I refuse to cut myself off, and my husband is right there with me. He's very supportive. I get a surprising amount of "Lazy! Indecisive! Stupid! Anti-Feminist!" When I first started getting those reactions, I got upset. After a while, though, I just gave up caring about their opinions. In the end, I can make a delicious, nutritious chicken dinner in an hour (or less!) and they can't. These days I just say "Well, I was studying to be a banker, but I lost interest." If they get it, it's a funny joke. If not, they're fooled. ;p

Hearing things like that drives me batty. The whole point to equal rights is so that people can CHOOSE to engage in any profession they choose. So that women can. Not so that they can be forced to. :/ I feel it's every bit as admirable to wish to be a stay at home parent, whether male or female. It's sad to hear that discouraged. (It isn't as if anyone is forcing you, and if it is what would make you happy, who are they to say what you can and cannot or should and should not be?)

Hear, hear! Whether someone wants to be a astro-physicist or a professional hobo, who is anyone to judge? Nobody has the same outlook, so why should only one sort of ideal be set?

It's like how I was kinda forced into going into Teaching, but after I quit that and told my family that I couldn't care less about teaching brats how to spell, I went to technical school for Automotive Technology. I found what I love, and that's fixing cars. I'm going to go to a university afterwards for Automotive Technology, and I can't wait. I just don't understand why some people don't understand college students. Parents especially.. -___-

Might I also add, that with this said technical degree, I have a 94% job placement rate after only 2 years of training.