I'm not sure why, but lately my self esteem has just been shit. None of my friends know, and right now I honestly think they don't care.

Lately my friends have kind of been ignoring me, or at least it seems like it. Everyone in my friend group have their "best friend", and I feel a bit left out. Like two of them are dating, so they spend majority of their time together, and the other two have been best friends since like.... 3rd grade, and then there is me. I rarely talk to my friends outside of school, and they rarely talk to me. I feel the most comfortable with them as far as people at my school go, and I have known them since forever. I used to have that "best friend", but she turned cold towards everyone in the group, and only really cares about her boyfriend. Right now I don't know if I am the problem, or if things are just out of whack, but I feel lonely.

And as far as self esteem goes, I feel like no one wants to be around me. All of my friends are so pretty and they are all skinny, while I am bigger and not as pretty. I am nice to everyone I meet, and I am not that shy kid in the corner, yet if my friends are around, I am mostly ignored and the people we are talking to don't listen to much of what I say. As far as dating? Again, no one seems interested. They are all interested in my friends, not me. If I like a guy, he will be nice to me and talk to me and things are starting to look good, then he meets one of my friends and it's like I don't exist.

I am not 100% sure where I am going with this, other than maybe just venting my feelings and wanting to know what you guys think I should do? I feel like everything is my fault right now, like it's my fault that I am that one that people ignore. I try to be kind to everyone I meet, and I don't talk about people behind their backs... but I guess that just isn't enough.

Any input is great ❤

I'm sorry that's happening to you.:( Would you try to do things outside of school or maybe try making plans with them? As for guys, maybe try to just talk with them without having your friends involved much in it, then as time progresses and you both feel comfortable enough with each other, then he wouldn't need to be interested in one of your friends over you. Not sure what grade you're in, but I'm sure it'll get better as time goes on and there will be people that like you for you.

Don't bring your friends to places where there are guys around that you want to try to date. Go by yourself and don't give them the opportunity to meet anyone else. People in high school are shallow and awful, and if they're really not making any effort to be friends then you just need to move on and find people who want to hang out.

I think you should also work on your confidence. I would advise making a list of very short term, fairly easy to achieve, concrete goals, and then keep upping them in difficulty as you complete them. Physically write them down and cross them out when they're completed. Write how completing them makes you feel.

Aww, jeez, at times I feel exactly the same way, just without the group of friends :/

I have similar self-esteem problems, I know I'm not the prettiest person around, but I have a pretty average appearance. Nothing particularly special.. I'm a very shy person, but will be the one to try and cheer other people up(I guess that's why I'm writing this... To try at least to cheer you up a little bit...)... Again, most guys I'm ever in contact in aren't interested(but in my case, I don't really care, cause I'm not either XD)... I feel that at times my personality is too freaking unlikeable, and I've never been able to get an attachment to anyone, at least, not until very recently...

I have to say, there ARE guys out there who will accept you, for more than just your appearance... As I've said before, I've felt that I would never be able to make friends with anyone, simply because of myself worrying about how others see me and my personality, but I've ended up chatting with someone who has a very similar personality, just is a LOT more chatty and stuff... XD So I've been building up confidence that way... I've also been able to chat more easily with other people online recently, which has also helped me to feel part of a group :D

I've also been doing volunteering at a local charity shop, this has helped somewhat with my confidence, and it also gives me a sense of purpose(if you can understand what I mean), because I feel like what I do is helping a good cause, and I get to meet new people there...

But I agree with the above point of making small, easy to achieve goals. I have done similar things, just thinking in the short term, and that has really helped my confidence... Doesn't need to be anything massive and long term, maybe just something you'd like to do this week/this month etc...

But yeah, if your friends are pushing you out of their group, then maybe it is worth getting a job/volunteering somewhere(I can't say I know too much about your situation, so I am trying to avoid making any assumptions, just talking from experience)

But... I hope my points did make some sense to you, and that I did end up helping, even slightly... Or even if not, then at least you can find some solace in that you're not the only person in the world who feels like that...

If you haven't already, you could try a social part-time job. You can meet new people, boost your social skills, and make a little bread on the way.

I don't even talk to my friends from high school. School in general was artificial to me. The people acted how they needed to in order to get what they wanted, and I just couldn't fit in. Through high school I was lonely, so I talked to some good friends on the internet. I mean, who says someone you've never met can't be your best friend? As far as dating goes, it's better to wait for someone you're really interested in, than to date for the sake of dating. High School relationships are mostly drama, anyway. Being skinny is completely overrated. Society programs people to be attracted to one thing and one thing only; it's pretty disgusting.

Agreeing with , people in high school are shallow and awful. Find people worth your time.

Thank you :) I have added guys/girls with mutual facebook friends in hopes of it being more, and there is one that seems somewhat hopeful right now. Even though I feel bad saying this, even though my friends want to meet her I don't plan to let them until things seem pretty solid. I just hope that eventually something will work out :P

I really like the idea of the goals. None really come to mind right now, but I guess it's something to think about for a bit?

Your post did make me feel better ^-^ I do like the idea of volunteering somewhere, I was actually considering volunteering at the local nursing home, just because I feel like while I may not meet people my age that way, it would be a nice thing to do. I may cheer up some person who perhaps has no family left or their family doesn't visit them often, and it seems like the right thing to do. I still have a few months until I can get a job, but I plan to when I become old enough.

Like I said above, I still have some time until I can get a job, but maybe one of my favorite stores at the mall would be a good place to work? And I agree with school being artificial. A lot of the time it seems like no one at school really cares about anyone but themselves, and some people just want to hurt others around them. Also, I am probably too young to want this, but I want to date someone just because I want someone there to talk to, and to cuddle with and kiss. That's probably too much to ask for while in high school, and it's also probably why I haven't ever dated someone. A lot of people at my school just date anyone who is interested, while I am actually waiting until I can find someone I am also interested in before dating them.

Thanks for your input everyone, it really is all helpful ❤

Editted because I can't spell >.<

I feel the exact same way as you. It's not your fault, people just get caught up in themselves hug Try finding something you like to do maybe? Like for me, it's crafting. Maybe you could hook up with a group that has similar interests? If you need someone to talk to, the people here on Subeta are a supportive bunch. You always got us :) nod nod If you wanna talk, I'm here too. For more venting, or whatever.

They can be very simple things. Eat a certain healthy thing for breakfast, write about something you appreciate, practice a skill for a few minutes every day, etc.