oh sweet sorrow [unique one on one search]

i'm not very good at writing these searching posts. i tend to come off as rushed, or i ramble to much, or i forget nessacary information. they tend to make me nervous, and definitely i feel that at times i may scare potential partners with my crappy introductions on these silly searches. anyways, i apologize for rambling, confusion, obvious haste and impatience in this here piece of dictation. also i apologize for the lack of capitalization. i just...don't use it when i'm typing out of character. not sure why.

DIGRESSING NOW. i am fishie, or kake, which ever you prefer. they are both perfectly good nicknames by me. hopefully i will get to learn quiet of your names as well! but for now you're probably less interested in my name and more interested in why i am calling my search unique!

this is due to a mixture of things i crave for in roleplays that people rarely see, and rarely do. i like to meddle with boundaries, dabble in taboo and question the rules that govern our real lives. i like to see what worlds would look like with different morals, opposing ideas from those that we know naturally. i'm NOT looking for perversion, no disgusting pornography with nothing but pointless plot. i love the character development as much as action. it's exciting to watch a few words give forth a child that you then watch grow into something fabulous, sprouted from your mind and fingertips. totally awesome.

so i am, as such, looking for someone who has AN OPEN MIND and a willingness to discuss not only character plot but also help me build a world, a society, create theories and reasons for things as simple as how to greet a new person or where one might sit in a theater based on status! along with more complicated things as well.

but to make my search even harder for myself, i want to say i am seriously craving and hunting for someone willing to do FIRST PERSON, PRESENT OR PAST TENSE (i like present but i can do past too) or, even more rare, THIRD PERSON, PRESENT TENSE.

these forms are my preferred because first person is just fun, getting to dig so deeply into a character and know all their little thoughts. it's a very personal style, so some people do find it uncomfortable. and i love present third person because it's such a fun challenge. so much fun.

anyway, i'm open to a lot of ideas, but i'm just gunna post an example here so you guys can kinda maybe get inspired!?

[EXAMPLE

The engines hum softly around him and the air is cool against his skin. Before him is a small wooden desk-a foldable piece he commissioned off a young craftsman-, elegant in design with it's pearl inlays and border of filigreed carvings. The desk is clean of ink stains, and the papers resting upon it are perfectly stacked and numbered. Yet Gedeon is frustrated, it is evident from his slitted eyes to his razor thin lips. His hand clenches and unclenches as he presses the palm to his temple, and dark eyes stare down at the letter resting atop his work.

He has read it over and over as the aircraft carries him to Neuss, although it does nothing to make him feel better. In fact, reading it only angers the middle-aged man, and he makes the smallest of noises in the back of his throat as his eyes scan the page once again.

ℒeopold,

Peace is not a thing that settles and stays, but is fleeting like some handsome, flighty bird. And I feel less like a proud military commander and more like a over-burdened wet nurse these days because of it. One would think that such stress should be left to lower ranking officials, yet my subordinates do little to ease the strain I feel constantly these days; more often then not they make it worse(for example, how one Mr. Tessen forgot to mail a certain letter). I know not how many times I have had to clean up their mistakes over the past few months. I spend more nights behind a desk working out details for ententes and rereading unappealing first drafts in these days of peace then I did during the war. Not that I wish it to return, just that peace not be so difficult to maintain.

But let me say that this is not what I write you for. Privy complaints about my work must not be entertaining to read, but perhaps it will please you to know I am coming to Neuss for a speech. It pleased me greatly, if I do say so, when the plans were finalized. How long has it been now since I saw your face last? Years, I think. Back then you were small enough to sit in your mothers lap still. I think often of how you have grown, and I would like to visit you when I come to the city, if you'll have me.

I'll be in Neuss in one week's time(today, he reminds himself in agitation).

         Sincerely always,
          &#403;edeon

The letter is now useless, and while Gedeon's better judgement tells him to throw it out, he cannot bring himself to do so. Every letter he writes to Leopold is important, he reminds himself of that. Every letter is important, even those that are misplaced and found too late. Tired eyes scan the curling letters one last time, and then he sighs and folds it back into the off-white envelope hand-addressed to Leopold Zukanov. The letter is placed, with prim and proper care, back into a black filecase resting beside Gedeons left foot.

He spends the next hour and twenty-three minutes in silence, ignoring the few other commanders and military generals that accompany him. Most don't bother to speak with him as it is, he is just as well known for his stone-cold attitude as he is for his strategical prowess.

Instead of speaking softly with his fellows, Gedeon prefers to practice his speeches, and runs the words over and over in his head. The engines continue to hum around him, like some giant comfortable beast purring deep in it's throat.

It is no surprise when Gedeon steps up to the podium in the Square and calmly recites his biannual report. He is famous for his speeches, his words inspires support during the war, and gained him the trust of many through out the years. His voice is heavy, deep and serious; the words have weight and meaning behind them. He meticulously outlines the steps used by troops to squash rebellions in the West, and speaks proudly of the finished treaties that secure the peace. He doesn't mention the mountains of paperwork, the frustrating people he deals with or the lack of personal time in his life, because those aren't things to speak about in public.

And it is at this point in his talk that the Commander's eyes comb the crowd. Few people meet his eye, but he can feel a gaze burning into him, and when his eyes meet Leopold's, he pauses. Dark, hooded eyes spark for a moment- a second of excitement that one might recognize better in a child's face then a full grown mans-, and then he turns his attention back to the crowd and continues, yet his mind is not focused. He thinks about the curve of Leopold's cheeks and the way his eyes widen when Gedeon looks at him. How much his charge has changed over the years, how he's grown from a small child into a fine young man.

He thanks the crowd and give them a wave before exiting the stage. A crowd circles him as soon as he disappears behind the curtains, offering him water and commenting on his speech. Gedeon stays cold and stiff towards their praise. He feels uncomfortable off-stage, surrounded by these people. They hover around him as he moves to a small fold-out table behind the stage. Some other speaker has left their half-eaten meal there, and he looks at it distastefully before pushing to the the side and sitting down. The crowd continues to hover, and Gedeon can feel his nerves being rubbed raw by the constant pestering. After a moment, sends them off with a callous:

"Leave."

The crowd quickly disperses, except for a single man, who Gedeon motions to him. The man looks nervous and excited all at once, with wide lips and a oval face. Gedeon eyes him, and then says, "There was a young boy in the crowd, light haired with golden spectacles. Did you see him out there still?"

The young man looks confused at first, but quickly responds with a sharp nod, "I-I think I saw him, sir."

Gedeon isn't pleased with the answer, but only nods and waves the stuttering attendant off. He stares at the table for a moment, before deciding that an 'I think' is better then nothing and stepping away from the table. Another speaker has taken the podium, a treasurer of some sort explaining the current economy and stability, so Gedeon walks around the side. The crowd is much more confusing from ground level, and he is momentarily confused before he makes his way towards the front of the crowd. Hopefully Leopold is still there.

His face falls as he cannot find the boy, and he turns to leave the crowd, considering to himself that perhaps his charge has slipped away to go home, and is just deciding to head that way when he catches a glimpse pale gold in crack in the crowd.

The crowd parts with little resistance once they see who he is, and Gedeon stops only feet away and watches him. He is taller then before, but still frail and the Commander careful places a hand on Leopold's shoulder as he steps up beside him.

"Leopold," he says with certainty. This is his charge, Gedeon would know his moon-shaped face and doeish eyes anywhere, "Come with me, we can retire to somewhere more suitable for speaking," because he is sure that is why Leopold is here. His letters always speak of seeing the Commander, letters upon letters wishing to speak with him, face to face.

"Come," he finishes in his deep, dark voice and offers his arm to the handsome boy beside him, before starting away from the crowd, "Away from this crowd, I think I remember a fine place to eat. Are you hungry?" ]

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oh sweet sorrow [unique one on one search]

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