She recently made up with her ex. I was really proud of her! Until I realized she was talking to said ex.

You see, my girlfriend and i screen share from time to time, and more than once I've peeked over to see her IMing her ex, and I get texts about going-ons with her ex.

Don't get me wrong, I love my girlfriend, but this with her Ex...it makes me jealous and upset. What should I do? I don't want her to stop talking to her ex and loose a friend, but...

I think it's best if you tell her how you feel about what she's doing. That's much better than keeping it all up bottled up inside until it's released when she sends a text/message that goes too far. If she really loves you, I'm sure she'll understand and comply or at least compromise in some way. : )

Ah, you're right. it has been leaking out little by little, and it did tonight.

But i don't want to tell her who she can and can't be friends with, or her feeling like I'm telling her that. She doesn't have a lot of friends in the first place. And she's really sensitive. I don't even know how to tell her without upsetting her...

Do you feel insecure when she talks to her ex, no matter what the two are talking about? If you feel that upset, telling her directly (not too bluntly) about how you feel is still the best option in my mind. Sugarcoating isn't going to help anybody. If you don't want her to feel that she's being controlled by you, then don't tell her to stop talking to him. Say something like, "I feel uncomfortable and upset whenever you talk to him." If she's considering your feelings as well, she'll start to think about what she's doing.

Not to sound too rude, but ex-boyfriends/girlfriends are meant to be left in the past. If she's still talking to him, she could still be holding some feelings for him. You could confront her about this, but if she is as sensitive as you say she is, just doing the above might be better.

To be honest, I do feel a bit insecure about it and it really bothers me.

Thanks, I think I'll try that....

:) Best of luck with you two.

Thank you.

gave you some really solid advice (: if you're upset, it's best to speak to her and handle the problem sooner rather than later. I know what it's like to bottle up feelings for someone you really care about and it's never fun. Talking to her about your feelings asap will help you solve the problem so that you don't grow to resent her or feel insecure about yourself.

You just have to think that she is dating YOU for a reason. That guy is her EX for a reason. For some reason, she no longer wanted to be with him and chose to be with you instead, which in itself should make you feel good. But I understand that sometimes (especially if they were long-term) it's hard to get over an ex and perhaps she could be harboring some feelings. But that's not always necessarily true. I'm friends with nearly half of my exes and I can honestly, genuinely say I have absolutely 0 feelings for them and I'm not attracted to them anymore at all. So yes it's possible she has feelings for him again, but it's also very, very possible that she doesn't.

But the only way to find out is to talk to her and say it bothers you when she talks to him all the time, especially when she's hanging around you. Don't come off too strong, just bring it up and see how she reacts. If she gets really upset or defensive, then you need to reassure her that you want her to have a friend/you don't want to control her, but it makes you jealous and you can't help it. She should be understanding and want to reassure you. So just talk to her and see how it goes.

It can be hard, especially because you're worried about upsetting her, but you need to talk to her about it. It's better to talk it through than bottle it all up. & have both given great advice that I agree with and won't say because you'll be reading things twice. Good luck.

ohgosh I'm in a similar situation /:

stole the words right out of my mouth. None of us know her past with her EX, so we can't tell you whether you should be worried or not. You really do need to speak with her about it and continue having an honest relationship. Ask her if she's been talking with him, mention that you noticed a conversation or two on screen sharing. There are two basic out-comes to this.

1. Her EX makes a better friend than he does a boyfriend. She may want to keep him close because they share a very special... keyword friendship. You two will remain happy with no alterations from her EX.
2. She may be leaning towards going back to the past for a "redo." Regardless, if you express how much you care for her, she should have no reason to leave. If she does, then (as hard as it is to hear) you're so much better off without her. There's no reason to waste your time on someone who doesn't appreciate you.

To be honest though, the only thing I would be careful of is the fact that you've been reading her conversations. Though it may seem like a minor detail, some people get really offended by their private conversations being imposed upon. If I were you, I would resist from reading her messages, and stop screen sharing with her.

definitely had amazing advice! It all depends on her past with this ex. If they were really long-term and had a very erm, 'physical' relationship (sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but it is important to note), then I would be wary about their friendship, because if you've been that connected with someone over a really long period of time, then obviously that connection will take a longer time to fade away and break. If they were long-term or were intimate together, etc. then I think for the sake of your sanity, it's best if you talk to her and ask her politely to call it off with this guy because you're uncomfortable.

If they were short term, non-physical, etc. then that's a positive sign and the coast should be much clearer. Like I said before, I have exes as friends. Tons of people do. But they're all exes I was with relatively short-term and didn't get intimate with, so it's an easy transition into just straight friendship with no other motives. If this is the case with your girl, then you need to calm down, talk to her, and give her the benefit of the doubt!

Also yes- reading her messages, even over her shoulder, is wrong and proves that you don't fully trust her. Instead of reading over her shoulder, just ask. If you're dating someone imo then you should be comfortable enough to speak up when something about them is bothering you.

Thank you all for the advice, really. I jsut ahve to get the guts to tell her.

This ex, Rin as she's called, treated both of us horribly, harassed me, and drove my girlfriend to suicide. These really are the main reasons that I get so bothered by it.

But, I love her, and I only what her to be happy, whether its with me or not, which I have told her many many times.

I hope it gets better for you. Hopefully you take as much from this as I do!

With that in mind, she may be going back to resolve loose ends. It may not be for the sake of fixing their relationship, but more for your girlfriend filling in the blanks and coming to terms with what happened. I wish you and your girlfriend the best of luck, and you have my full support.

Thank you so much. I just hope I get the guts to tell her something before this gets too out of hand.

She made your girlfriend suicidal...? Oh my. This girl definitely sounds like a bad influence then, I can understand why you wouldn't want to encourage their friendship. But like all of us here said, the sooner you tackle it, the better for you! It's not good to let this stuff bottle up ):

yeah, thanks lol. i've read all of this a few times over now and i think i feel the same way you do, insecure and kind of.. scared? well, i know for me there is a lot of fear there. but my girlfriend has said to me before that they still talk sometimes "but there are no feelings there". pretty similar to you, really. she's described their relationship as "traumatising". so i am trying to trust her, but it's just really hard.

Now, i'm just trying to find the right time to bring it up to her, really....

You'll be able to trust her, that part is easy. its being able to trust that her ex won't worm back in is the hard part..

she has. twice. now you see my terror.

Ah. Well, I'm sure it'll turn out just fine...