I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible, but I'm really agitated about a situation I'm in and I would love to hear some unbiased, outsider opinions.

I've been working as a hostess in a restaurant for about 6 months now. It's a small family-owned business, nothing chain or corporate owned. I make $9 with no tips. It's a fine-dining restaurant so other employees such as servers and busboys make a LOT of money. Like... seriously a LOT. But anyway, I've been pretty much okay with my wage until a couple days ago.

One of the other hostesses quit (there's only 5 of us total, all girls) and so my managers hired another one, this time they hired a guy. When I got hired 6 months ago another girl was hired with me and our starting pay was $9 (my pay to this day is still $9). My friend has worked there 6 months longer than I have and only makes $10 because she asked for a raise. So my managers hired this new kid that I have been training the past couple weeks... he's the only male host... he just turned 19 and he has no job experience whatsoever. He's a nice kid but the other day he asked me for help looking at his paycheck because he couldn't find where it says hours worked. To my disgust under "pay rate" his rate of pay said $10.15 an hour.

Basically, this kid is making over a dollar more than I am for... being a guy? I probably shouldn't feel this insulted and angry but I work SO hard at this place and so do all of the other hostesses, and yet this kid walks in and is already making more than we are.

My other friend who is a hostess asked for a raise yesterday (she didn't mention that she knew this kid gets paid more than us) and the manager gave it to her so she now makes $10. I want to ask for a raise as well but I don't really know how to approach the subject. I want to ask for a raise because I feel I am genuinely a hard worker and an asset to them, but I also want them to know that I know the new kid makes more than I do and that I feel discriminated against.

I guess what I'm asking is: would it be inappropriate to bring up the fact that I feel hurt by the new kid making more money than I am? I plan on asking for a raise regardless, but I'm getting mixed reviews from my friends/family. Some are saying that it's worth bringing up because it is gender discrimination, others are just telling me to drop it and that confronting the manager with my concerns will only create drama.

The bottom line is I want things to be fair and even and I feel like this is clearly sexist to pay a new male employee more than an existing female employee. Keeping in mind that I am TRAINING him to do the exact same job as me as well. Am I wrong to approach my manager with my concerns? Thanks if you read all of this, it's late and I hope it all made sense :C

If your relationship with your manager is good enough, it might be worthwhile to discuss this completely and point out your concerns. But it could also backfire and cause you more trouble than it's worth, if that isn't the case. It just really depends on how much your manager likes and respects you.

My manager is a really tricky person, which I guess is another point of the problem. He does like me and he always tells me what a good job I'm doing and so on. He's very vocal if you do things wrong or if he doesn't like you and he only seems to say good things about me. I have 3 managers total, the other 2 really like me as well, but they aren't in charge of raises/payroll type stuff. He's pretty moody though so sometimes you never know what kind of reaction you're going to get from him...

If I did bring it up, I would try and be pretty brief about it like "Chris mentioned he makes $10 and I was wondering why that is because I'm only paid $9" or something along those lines. I feel hurt and pissed and like this is sexist BUT you're right it would stir up a lot of drama to accuse someone of that so I'm not planning on going that far (I don't think it's necessary).

At this point I'm upset enough where I'd like to work elsewhere but as a full-time student the hours are too good here to pass up and match perfectly with my schedule, plus my coworkers are amazing. There's a lot of upsides to the job, but being paid unfairly because I'm female is in my opinion NOT at all okay. They're a small business so there's really no "rule" we have to be paid all the same wage, but I think the fact that ALL of us girls make less or as much as him having worked there much longer is pretty obvious sexism. Unless I'm totally exaggerating but that's what it feels like to me :C

If you do bring it up, I'd advise against using the word sexist, or anything similar, because that in and of itself may cause him to totally shut down. I figure you already know that and would be careful when addressing it, but just figured I'd mention it.

It doesn't sound like you're exaggerating. I'm trying to think of any reason why he'd make more than you when he's less qualified for the job, and am coming up with the same answer as you are, sadly.

i'm too tired to offer much useful advice and i'm also a marshmallow when it comes to interacting with authority figures, but i would definitely not bring up that chris showed you how much he made, even if inadvertently. where i used to work, it was pretty much taboo to discuss wages and so it could get him into some trouble 8/ best of luck, you definitely deserve to get paid more.

I'd keep from mentioning gender if possible and just point out that you are training him and being paid a buck fifteen less. On no planet is that reasonable, but it's best to assume (unless your boss has shown sexist tendencies before) that he just hasn't kept up with raises like he should since he's been giving people a little more when they ask.

Thank you all for the advice ;___;

I completely agree that using words like sexist will probably put him instantly in defense-mode and will make him upset. I don't plan on approaching him with anger or letting him see that I am unhappy. I plan on asking for a raise based on my performance, I agree it seems like the best way to do so is to just avoid the subject of Chris all together and hope that he pays me equally :C he gave the other girl hired at the same time as me $10 and I would be okay with that... ideally I would like to make more since it's unfair (in my opinion) that they're going to pay us the same while he is new and in training, but I don't make the rules and I don't want to ask for more and have them think I am being greedy or entitled.

Idk I'm rambling but yeah basically I agree that calling him names would be a no-no and would hurt my case rather than help it. Yeah I wish I had a better answer too. If there's a genuine reason I would love to know it, but for now it looks like it's exactly what I fear... he's probably simply just paid more because he's a guy.

Yeah I agree :C Chris was really afraid when I found out how much he made because he saw I instantly got really bothered and quiet towards him and he was scared I would mention something to the manager. Since we're a smaller business the employees are all pretty close so we discuss fairly openly how much we make between each other (especially us hostesses, since we make the least amount of money by FAR lol), but I agree that telling my manager about seeing Chris' pay wouldn't be smart.

Idk it's hard because I really like my job and my coworkers but if I'm offered less than $10 when I ask for my raise I might start looking elsewhere.

I'm trying to be optimistic and think along the lines of what you said... that maybe he's been meaning to give me one but hasn't gotten around to it because he's so busy and he's been taking some days off lately, etc. But that still doesn't answer why Chris started at at higher wage than we did. He has shown slightly sexist tendencies before... he made a weird comment to one of the girls suggesting that she "looked tired and should wear a little more makeup" which I thought was super duper inappropriate. Idk if that's necessarily a sexist comment (although you definitely wouldn't tell a male employee to go put makeup on if they look tired) but it definitely was rude. He says off-hand shit like that at times which offends employees.

He likes to joke around a lot but he's also really stern at times so it's hard to predict where his head is at which makes the prospect of approaching him less-fun. BUT with you guys' help I think I've concluded I'm going to ask for a raise tomorrow morning when I work with him and I'm not going to mention Chris or being upset at all and just hope for the best. Wish me luck! :C

It may well have nothing to do with gender. I know a lot of places will ask what you expect to be paid. He could have said nothing less than $10/h, whereas you didn't specify? Alternatively, wage can usually be negotiated during the hiring process - he may have just taken advantage of that. You can't know what happened, so thinking it's sexism could be way off the mark.

For example: My fiance used to work in a kitchen. He was working for minimum wage (which is $10.25/h where I live), as were most of the kitchen staff, save for the head cook who was making $12/hour. He was offered a job in another kitchen, starting at $12/hour. He told management he would stay if they could match it, so they did. He was making the same amount of money as their head cook, and $2 more per hour than people who had been there far longer than he had. It had nothing to do with the fact that he was a guy, or that he had seniority (which he definitely didn't) - but rather that he had guts enough to ask for what he believed he deserved.

To make a long story short, asking for a raise doesn't hurt - especially if you believe you deserve it. If they want to keep you, you'll probably get it.

The thing is, he didn't negotiate or ask for it. At least that's what he told me and I don't have reason to believe that he was lying or would lie about it. He was surprised to see that he was making $10... I'm not sure exactly what was said when he was hired, of course, but as far as I know he had no idea.

I actually spoke to a coworker yesterday who is a busboy but used to host and asked him how much he got paid when he was a host- $10.50 and he was only a host for about 5 months. He said my manager used to only hire men for the position since he seems to favor male employees. Which I never really paid attention to before, but of all of our waitresses, only 2 are girls. Besides the 3 female hostesses and a couple older women in the kitchen, we're an all-male place.

But anyway I guess the problem sorted itself out- I got my raise and my other manager (who has less power than the GM but is still important nonetheless) said he is going to speak to the GM about paying us as much as Chris because he does believe it's unfair. I told him he doesn't have to since I'm happy just to break even I guess, but it's nice he's going to go out of his way like that. We'll see what happens.

Thank you all again for your advice.