Hi :3 I was wondering if I could get some feedback on a story I'm writing? It's posted here on deviantArt.com ^^ http://sta.sh/0uaou6dsuev

I'm not looking for anything rude, but if you have suggestions or comments, please tell me! I'm not going to get all hurt by criticism. I need it xD So yeah, please and thank you! ^.^

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I've read your story.

A child with a deadley desease, I suppose. Understand I this right?

Your style: Looks alike you try to paint a wallpainting with words instead of brushes or even airbrushes. Every detail in the enviroment gets your attention.

I'm quite visual thinking, so as reader I see a wall grafity with allmost photographic detais about this story.

Mebe this is also your intention, but I'm not sure.

I read the first chapter of your story! You definitely have a lot of details in your writing, which I appreciate because it helps the reader understand the story environment a lot easier. If you post another chapter I might read that too!

She doesn't have a deadly disease, per say, she's just going to be tested for her Sector :) And I tried to add details in because I typically lack them ;w; Too much?

Thank you very much! ^-^ Sadly, I've discontinued this version of the story and I'm now working on a new version orz it might take some time before that ones available. Do you think you'd still be interested in it? owo/

I haven't got an opinion abaut enough details or too much details. But I think you can let read your story to a graffity artist. I think a graffity illustration/painting on a wall will be really great.

But that's my subjective opinion. ;)