I've written another story.

Because I can.

Here it is.

Feedback is greatly appreciated.

@ cahoots

Nineveh, who in an instant

"You girls, okay?" Asked a voice from behind the driver's seat.

That line initially confused me. Behind the drivers seat would put them in the back seat, which is where they are. xD

The characters are talking pretty clearly for people that were in a car crash, especially since one of them is a child and the other is supposedly driving drunk. I'm no expert but after my brother was in a vehicle that rolled he was a straight up mess for several days, and he was about 20 at the time.

they managed to get the shocked family of three

she began to slowly lose her marbles

Nineveh kind of seems like she had a few screws loose from the start. xD

It wasn't like he actually cared for her.

I don't know much about bleach for murder but having enough in a cup to instantly kill someone by burning their throat out I assume would take quite a bit. The taste or smell might alert him? Also, he doesn't have very good friends... xD

His eyes widened, blood trickled from

To be entirely honest the tragedy piled on tragedy was kind of hard for me to swallow. I couldn't relate to any of the characters and I didn't really feel bad for anyone aside maybe the dead sister. Sometimes less is more, and with tragedy I would definitely take that as truth in most cases. c:

Characters don't need to have these terribly, terribly tragic pasts or a drive for blood to make them interesting. ^^

You're definitely a good writer though, I just happen to think you sold yourself a little short this time. :3

Aw, thanks for the compliment. ❤️

It means the world to me!