So, I am thinking about joining OkCupid, the dating site. I have difficulty meeting people and think this might help.

However, I have a LOT of trepidation about this. I am worried I am going to run into unsafe weirdos. For example, on the sign up page, it's asking for my zipcode. Er...should I put a zipcode for a surrounding town instead of having it zero in on me?

Any tips and tricks/advice/comments would be helpful, thanks.

If you would feel safer, go ahead and put a surrounding town. A couple of other tips: when setting up a place to meet, make it in a well lite and well occupied place. And before you go on the date, leave as much contact information as possible (like where you're going, how long you think the date will last, etc). And include some information on the guy, like a link to his profile, what he looks like, etc. And he biggest thing, don't invite him back to your place.

I know all that sounds kind of paranoid but it's better to be safe than sorry. I hope everything works out for the best :)

Actually the zip code is to help you find people who might be close to you. This is so you can pick near by only people, people up to 100 miles away ect ect so you can view profiles of people near you and see who you may want to reach out to.

Also just note being a girl you're likely to get 20+ messages a day. Just take it easy and creep on the profiles of anyone that interests you and make a choice before you reach out to those contacting you. If any get overly aggressive about you then clearly stay away.

Once you do finally decide to meet anyone make it like a McD's or the mall/cafe. I personally would pick the mall/cafe as it's easy to get out of things by saying you need the restroom or that you "spotted" a friend and want to go say hello. Also arrive in your own car and maybe park it on the other side before you head in, also a mutual meeting spot is good like at the food court or a specific book section.

Be wary though! My ex was on it while he was dating me and had he was open for anything on his profile and about where he worked and school (all of which he started AFTER we'd been dating over a year) he went to but no mention of his relationship status. So if you can also creep on FB and see if you can find them. Use your own personal discretion in deciding if anyone is ok for you to meet with.

And for your own profile just fill in only what you want any possible friends/dating people to know. Do you like movies? Reading? Hobbies? Just leave it with simple info and you don't even have to say a thing about work or anything else, just put up a "mail to find out more" memo.

Actually can you make a mock style of the info you -might- be putting on it and then show us?

Thank you for your response! No worries about me bringing him home, I do know that much at least! I'm a pretty cautious person overall. Thank you again! :)

Thank you for your advice, it is much appreciated! Out of curiosity, do you know if you can block people on that website? I would hope so, especially after your mention of being hounded as a female. I'll also keep cross-referencing on FB in mind. My FB actually isn't under my real name, so that prevents me getting back-stalked in that sense at least.

I don't have any info mocked up at the moment to use as a model, since I'm still debating whether or not I want to make one. =|

as far as i'm aware yes you can place blocks on people since it is a social site. Maybe browse the place a bit more? I know you can even set your profile to be public (anyone even without an account can see your data, members only (so they have to be signed in at the very least to see info) or for paid members only( only if you yourself have paid and then only other paid members can look you up).

I only know this stuff because when I confronted my ex that my friend had found it and showed me he claimed he was "hacked" and I asked about it still being up a week later and all of a sudden his profile vanished from public view. My friend confirmed he still had it up until about 6 months before we had broken up.

I mean I get knowing your "safety nets" if a possible relationship doesn't work out, but courtesy is either temp suspending or changing info on the account you know? At least if you find yourself on more than 5 dates with the same person and like them it tends to mean it's going somewhere nice even if for a short time.

So if you start an account there are ways to alter your info and such if you found the need to do that.

You're welcome. Good luck. I hope it works out for you

Thank you again for the info. I didn't know about the paid members vs members vs public thing, and I'm glad to know you can change the info on it.

I'm sorry your ex bf was sketchy with you like that. =| You definitely didn't deserve to go through that drama.