I've been working on a new poem for the last day-and-a-half, and I need some actual critiques and input on it.

~

"Tell Me"

Tell me what you feel in your heart of hearts Tell me what you dream and I will do my part. Tell me that you love me and that I'm the only one Say that our love is strong enough to overcome any obstacle, any threat the strongest of winds Together we can survive through thick and thin. Darling, when I close my eyes and dream a dream of you I see a love eternal, strong, so pure, so perfect, so true. But when I open my eyes and remember you, my dear Reality rears its head and says that you were never here.

~

Ehh? It's sketchy; it needs change. There's something off about it, but I can't identify what. Halp?