While I write stories in a variety of sub-genres (with a lot of overlapping really), nearly all my stories could be defined as m/m romance. I used to write straight romance, years and years ago, but I really got into writing when I stumbled into m/m romance though I didn't realize that was what it was called at the time. It was a combining of interests, and I wasn't aware of any internet or literary publications. I was just writing how I liked.

I've been trying to come up with an explanation for why I decided to "go over to the dark side" (not that it's that dark over here, unless I want it to be mwhahaha) and write stories about characters that my conservative friends and family wouldn't appreciate. My mother has known all along, I told my big sister recently though I don't think she understands because shemakesmenervous and I didn'treallyexplainit -sheesh-, and the rest of the people I want to tell... Well, it's a toss-up as to whether they'll accept it or if they'll pull away. But with three in particular, it's beginning to feel like I am keeping an important part of myself a secret and I don't even know if it's necessary.

After plenty of consideration, I've pinpointed two particular completely PG reasons I like the genre, but I am curious about other M/M romance writers. In case you are wondering about those two reasons, without additional explanation/flourish:

1. I don't like writing female characters, because I don't enjoy writing from the female perspective.
2. It makes (good?) use of my more masculine personality traits.

There is a third reason, of course. It's probably pretty obvious. Or not. No matter. (What? I'm 31 years old.) This one will not be making the cut when/if I tell my family and friends. They'd likely want to send me to (some adult equivalent of) the principal's office... Then wash my mind out with soap. XD

I write all kinds of LGBTQIA romance plots and subplots, simply because LGBTQIA people exist. It's tiring seeing nothing but heterosexual characters as complex, compelling leading roles, whereas LGBTQIA characters are few and far in between, and those who do show up are minor characters - the goofy sidekick, the sassy gay friend, or the overly-sexualized lesbian/bisexual woman eye candy. There is really no reason why the lives and relationships of people like myself and my friends should be portrayed as nothing but a punchline, or something scandalous and fetishized.

Don't get me wrong, there have been some fantastic portrayals of LGBTQIA characters in media, even as side-characters, but it isn't enough. I'm not going to sit back and just "take what I can get," especially if what I get leaves so much to be desired. And since any critique of ANY problems in media is always met by at least one smartass saying "well if you don't like it, make your own thing," I might as well do just that.

You're 31 years old and have to hide the fact that you write M/M romance from your family? You must live in conservative hell. But I think you should tell your friends, if nothing else. If they pull away because you dare to acknowledge the existence of the LGBTQIA community, are those really the kinds of people you want around you to begin with?

Thank you for giving me your perspective! I agree that the media does a poor job portraying LGBTQIA characters in general and I hope that your work makes a difference. (I'd hope mine would too, in some small way, but I have yet to finish a story and I don't know when/if I ever will. I've got so many ideas and once I know the ending of one story I tend to move on to a new concept. I really need to stop doing that. LOL)

I live in a small town in southern USA. People here are certainly less conservative than they used to be and many people 50 and under are accepting of LGBTQIA individuals, to varying degrees. However, nearly everyone I know (really know) is religious and while none of them would bully LGBTQIA individuals, my friends and family don't necessarily support them. Even if they do, it's different for them to support someone who is LGBTQIA than it is to support my writing about gay/bisexual men and genderqueer individuals. Honestly though, sexuality's just not a topic I've broached with most, thus me not knowing if it is even necessary to worry about telling them. They may all be fantastic and accepting. (My brother and sister are probably least likely to be accepting, but that'll be in no small part due to the fact I am their weird little baby sister who's still living at home with Mom. I was living with both of my elderly parents until Dad passed away last year. He was... difficult to live with and they both left as soon as they could.)

What drew me to the genre as a reader and a writer is that I find it's a way to explore writing a romance with less inclusion of Standard Romance Stereotypes. I feel that in M/F romance, it's really difficult to get away from what I see as really gendered character tropes. Big Strong Alpha Male and Fluttery Indecisive Female, for example. Part of that might be my own level of writing skill, but even reading M/F romance the societal expectation of gender roles, for lack of a better term, seems to always skew things in odd, irritating ways. I'm so tired of Masterful Males and Pliant Females in romances.

In any event, I feel that exploring tropes and character stereotypes in M/M (and probably F/F, for that matter) writing has less "weight" to it than writing M/F, at least on my part, as it relates to stereotypical gender roles, because I'm not spending time wondering and worrying if the female character is self-actualized enough or whether people will find her too girly or too strong or too..etc etc. It feels to me almost as though it's starting from a more level playing ground between the characters.

Which is not to say that there aren't stereotypes and tropes in play for M/M writing, or a huge amount of societal expectation/bias as well. Still, I feel like it's easier to explore the dynamics of the relationship and the romance itself of the story with M/M.

There are other reasons as well, of course, but that's one of the big reasons and probably the best PG one. Support for getting stories and readership out there is a big one, too, because still the vast majority of romance stories are M/F. Diversity's a good thing.

Thanks! I'd like to make some kind of difference, even if it's something tiny. Hell, if another queer kid can pick up one of my stories one day and just enjoy a little escapism for a while, I'll be happy.

I think I know the situation you're coming from, in a way. It can be a little scary not knowing how someone is going to react to things like that. I used to worry about how my friends would react to me coming out, though I always figured it would be all right. In the end it just so happened that about half of my friend group was in the LGBTQIA community in one way or another, but we were all hesitant to say anything about it at first! Not exactly the situation you're in, but I understand the feeling.

I hadn't considered that, but I totally agree! The rigid gender roles in het romance are boring at best, and I've seen some writers take them to a level that's just downright skeevy. (I'm not talking Dom/sub stuff, I'm talking "oh my god why have you not gotten a restraining order against this man" stuff.) Not to say that there isn't skeevy stuff to be found in LGBTQIA novels, but given that it's a much smaller niche, there seems to be a much smaller pool of that kind of thing.

This is a side-note, but as for your comment about worrying how a female character would be received by the audience, that seems to be a general concern about female characters in general. Females in media (and IRL) are scrutinized much more than males are, and not as easily forgiven for their flaws. I tend to fret over my ladies even when writing F/F romance, knowing that my audience is probably predisposed to liking women to begin with. It's really unfortunate.

I'd have to say, I can agree with Lirikai, and CaptainCakewalk. I love that LGBTQIA relationships aren't seen very often, and it can give a different view of character roles in the relationship. The gender roles aren't as rigid as with hetero-romance. Though, I love working with characters before I play with their sexuality because I'm not about to start letting one little aspect of who they are control the other aspects of their being. If I have a hetero-man, I might make him realize that he's a metero-man or that he wants to be a woman. While writing M/M stories and roleplays in the past few years, I've found a certain appeal to a few of the homo-men that I've created. They might have a few feminine qualities of mine, and a few masculine qualities... But overall, these LBGTQIA characters that I have tend to have relatable idiosyncrasies, and traits that make them grab people then their peculiar taboo love can, sometimes, make people stay out of envy over how they freely love each other. Let's face it, in society, LGBTQIA relationships may be more accepted, nowadays, but they're relationships that are still seen as taboo, or unheard of... I know that in the small town that I grew up in, people would look at me weird if I said that I was a pansexual, and would totally hook up with a hermaphrodite, happily. They would most likely stoop to gossip about me, and a few would probably avoid eye contact with me. People fear things that are unusual or different, and despite the fact that LGBTQIA relationships aren't unusual, or new... And the love is still the same, but with the LGBTQIA population coming out bigger and bolder... It has older generations worrying, their younger generation in shock. It's like Fiddler on the Roof, traditions were broken and the father grew angry because he feared the changes that would come with the shift of what was traditional to the new, and he was worried that he was losing his daughters. It's kind of like someone pulled a rug from under your feet, and you didn't expect to crash to the ground. I'm pretty sure that might be another reason why I love writing with LGBTQIA characters, now. It gives me that feeling of the rug being pulled from under my feet, and I have that moment where I panic. Then, despite the pain, I'm just glad that I landed on solid ground. (Yeah, I think I just describe an adrenaline surge... I'm not even sure about that, but it's kind of like a combo of an adrenaline surge, and this overwhelming sense of relief. Mainly because when I write with LGBTQIA characters, I feel that small bit of a change happen when I write their stories.)

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, when I write my female characters, I just start out of the gate thinking that they are on par with my male characters. Probably because I make sure that they have a combination of feminine and masculine qualities just like my male characters. I don't even think of my audience when I write, or make my characters because I do it to put a piece of myself on paper. (Shhh, don't tell anyone.)

I feel like I just ranted, and made like twenty contradictory comments, as well as a few do-do comments. Sorry about those~!

I'm actually just now starting to include what I guess call "nontraditional" characters in my stories.

I wrote the first part to one of them.

If you are curious in anyway shape or form, ping me and I'll send over a link.