On Thursday, my brother informed my family he was going to propose to his girlfriend of 3 years. Of course, she said yes. She has posted countless articles on Facebook about things such as "You Should Get Married Before 24" or "Ways Your Boyfriend Should Pop the Question", etc. She apparently told him off the bat she wanted to get married A.S.A.P. On Saturday, she picked the beginning of October on a Sunday evening.

My brother is 30 and his fiancé is 24. I have no problem with the age difference. My problem is with her maturity level. I am also 24 and we have nothing in common because all she seems to want to do is follow my brother around, watch Disney movies, and have lots and lots of babies. She has made some interesting comments to me such as, "You still don't have a permanent job?" Yet she followed my brother to the same office he works at (I suspect to keep tabs on him). My parents have also spent a great deal of money on her and I have never heard her say, "Thank you". I think my parents (along with the rest of my family) don't have any specific problems with her, but we don't like how immature she is and the fact that she wants to get married A.S.A.P.. I personally think she has a lot of maturing to do and she still has a lot of "changing" to do because she is so young, but if it makes my brother happy, there's not a lot to be done.

There's a lot more to it, but I'm trying to keep it short! Any comments, feedback, similar stories, etc. will be very helpful. I love hearing other people's opinions and other "sides" to the story. For me, sadly, this situation is causing me A LOT of unnecessary stress... What do you think about how fast the wedding date is set? Anything other opinions? THANK YOU! :)

I used to want to get married before I was like 21. (I'm 20 now). but I got over that, I learned that it's a lot of pressure for the person proposing, and I want it to be special, so I don't think it should be rushed anymore. I think it's really rude (I think that'd be the word I'm looking for) to just constantly post those articles on a public place like that x.x Kinda seems desperate? :s

I hate when people are given gifts, and can't say "Thanks" at least.. it would make me just not give them anything until they do, lol.

As for the permanent job.. I don't think at your age, you'd find one just yet.. I mean I don't expect to until I'm way older anyways. Although I'm still youngish, I just never saw having a job I'd spend most of the rest of my life doing, at such a young age, to just happen.

yes, I think most of us went through that stage in life! Which is why I think she hasn't matured yet. She has the inability to see the big picture. And you are 110% correct about that, she is extremely desperate.

What bothered me the most about what she said in regards to the permanent job was the fact that I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease a few months ago and for the past two years, I haven't been fully healthy, yet she has never expressed any feelings of sorrow or concern for me. Not a word. Oh well!

Sorry to hear that..

But yeah.. I don't think she has any right to try and put you down like that when her, herself is far from being matured. >_> I mean Disney movies, sure that's alright. But practically begging to be married along with not having learned that saying "thank you" is only nice, just says something.

Did your brother ever say anything about all her posts to you? lol

lol don't get me wrong, I LOVE Disney movies! I just haven't really seen any new ones recently. She quotes entire movies that have come out recently. I can understand movies from the 90's when we were growing up, but not so much now. I guess people have their "things" though so I try not to be too skeptical of it.

And no, I think he likes the fact she is so desperate (which to me is really sad). She will literally roll over and do whatever he wants.

Ah, that sucks. D:

Guess they were meant for each. loll. But I still do feel bad for you that you'd have to deal with her at times. Plus the way she treats you and your family. Hopefully she does learn a "thank you" sometime soon in her life. >.<

yeah, my mom said "she is family now". UGH! Thank you though for your kind words! I'm sure it will be tough at times, but I will try my best to be positive I guess.

From what I've read thus far she doesn't sound like a very pleasant person to live with let alone devout one's life to.

Although I can't help but wonder what exactly is driving her desperation to get married? Does she solely want to get married for the sake of being married/becoming a mom? (Baby or ring fever so to speak). Or is it something else entirely? (like the illusion of financial stability or alternatively a means to alleviate her her own insecurities about their relationship).

People tend to get/want to get married for a variety of reasons. A cousin of mine did something similar where she was dating a mutual friends of her friends for a year while working overseas. They got married when they returned to the states. Only within the same month they got married they ended up getting divorced. Partly because both weren't really mature in handling interpersonal issues but largely because while they had developed strong romantic feelings for each other in the course of a year, they didn't really know each other. Because all the time they spent traveling, they were either traveling or with friends and thus when they suddenly found themselves stuck alone with each other on a daily basis, they grew tired of each other. They haven't spoken to each other since the divorce.

I can't say what the right time is for getting married (it varies according to the people involved, I like to believe) but there is a definitely such a thing as getting married too suddenly.

I can't say with 100% confidence why. Although she has mentioned that she wants to "stay at home and make babies" while my brother works. I'm sure once she has babies, she will push my brother out of the picture leaving him to take care of all of their needs. I think she also has the illusion that my brother is her "prince charming" and that she is the "princess" and life is a fairy tale...yes, one of thoooose females who seriously believe there is such thing as a perfect life never filled with sadness or pain. I think she is also still stuck in the "honeymoon phase" we all get caught up in at the beginning of the relationship.

I agree with you on the timing to get married. There is not really a set time for everyone. It all depends on the couple. I just think in this case, it has been completely rushed for whatever reason. Pregnancy? Obsession? Who knows...

It certainly sounds that way. :( Those kinds of people (it's not just females either) really scare me sometimes, largely because you can already see them getting gravely disappointed in the future. You also know it's not your place to tell them, "I told you so" when things really do go south for them because their expectations did not align with reality, if only out of common courtesy and even if they do sober out of that phase.

How does your brother feel about all of this, I wonder? He must like her enough to be willing to bend to her whims.

Whatever happens I wish all of you luck and perhaps, maybe by some miracle she'll touch the ground again and realize that marriage isn't just a big party with rings with maybe babies afterwards (babies themselves are a whole other can of worms and responsibilities).

One things seems certain though... she really doesn't seem to have any sense of money and has this sort of puerile sense of entitlement to things that just makes her seem even more immature. :-/

you are absolutely correct! It's really sad, but hopefully it won't directly affect me.

Thank you so much for your input!