Gather round boys and girls, this may be a long one. Also please don't quote any of this; I may edit and delete it later. Thanks ♥.

[Deleted]. Thanks guys.

It's understandable that he's curious about you - you've got half his genes. While your dad (i.e. the man who brought you up) is of course your dad, it probably can't hurt to satisfy your bio dad's curiosity with a picture or whatever. But you're right it's more complicated than that... you need to take into account the history and what he's like. For example, the circumstances under which your biological parents ended up separating, and whether or not your bio dad was prevented access to you when you were younger. Or rather if he even tried to see you (careful with asking individual parents themselves, they tend to outright lie about this part lol).

Basically, if he's not a massive cunt, and your actual dad isn't going to be furious about you having contact with the bio one, it can't do much harm to send a picture or even talk to him. If you're not big on the whole 'reconnecting' thing then maybe keep the distance. I know some people end up with guilty, overbearing, messes of absent fathers, and end up wishing they'd never reconnected.

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Oh well that makes thing a bit less straightforward lol. Eh sod him then. It's a bit late for him to get all fatherly, even when he's STILL questioning whether you're even his... I get where you're coming from with the whole both not wanting to give a picture, and not really caring :P I know I'd feel the same way.

Good luck to you either way. At least you ended up having a decent father to take care of you :)

That's rough. :/ Personally if I were in your shoes I'd probably be really reluctant to give him a picture too. I mean, although you've never met him, from what you know about him you don't exactly have the best impression of him and that's pretty understandable.

I know this is really lame and/or useless advice but, I'd say the best thing you could do right now is to not really do anything. Just take a bit of time to think about it. My sister (or well half sister I guess, biologically speaking) had a kind of similar situation with her biological father (who was also not exactly the world's greatest person) when she hit her 20s. I know it shook her quite a bit. It's your right to think this kind of thing through as thoroughly as you want

But the important thing is at the end of the day, your dad (who brought you up) is your dad. And that isn't going to change whether you decide to send this guy a picture or not. And really that's the main thing that matters

Good luck, whatever you decide to do

Hm, this one's a doozy, huh? Lmfao. Well, first of all, it's totally fine for you to be a bitch and advocate for him not getting what he wants. I'm 100% behind that. But if you are feeling conflicted about it, I think it's good to acknowledge that to yourself.

I would definitely want more info about the guy before I made a decision. Who was he, who is he now, why was this info kept from me? I would be really mad about being lied to tbh, as much as I totally agree that the guy who raised you is your dad. Family is something we build more than anything else. I believe anyone you care about can be your family, and that blood doesn't really mean much. But I would really want to know why I was lied to. Like, maybe is he dangerous? Is that why your mom wouldnt want you to know? Where was he up until now? And what gives? Why would your mom suddenly let this come up? And why does he want a picture out of nowhere?

I would just wait to find out more, and then whatever. I think medical records could be really super important though, and they will be relevant forever. But can't you get those without trading them for a picture, or are you saying he's like, refusing to turn them over unless you send it?

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