I graduated just over a week ago and just got employment for next year and I feel like I should be happy but all I feel is miserable and lonely.

My university boyfriend and I called it quits because neither of us could handle distance. And neither of us was willing to make the sacrifice of moving to each others respective city. Even though we're still friends I've messaged him once or twice and his replies seem short and uninterested. I miss him like crazy.

My friends have all left to go home and I just moved back into my parents home. I had been enjoying the freedom of flatting but now I just feel trapped. And as soon as I got in the door things returned to their former state with my parents and I arguing then ignoring each other.

My best friend just went home and I won't see him for two months. And all the clubs I'm in I've had to quit because I'm moving cities and have shut for the year. I just feel like I'm stuck in a rut and am not happy at all. I just don't know what to do with myself.

- It's great that you were able to find work! I'm sorry that the rest of your life hasn't worked out as well. The situation is probably tough on your parents, too. Maybe you can have a sit-down discussion with them about how you feel? If you're going to be in that area for a while, maybe you could see what local groups there are? There may be a local circle of folks that are into tennis, knitting, rock climbing, gaming, or some other hobby that you can connect with. If it's temporary, why not try to keep in touch with some university friends until you can see them again?

Thank you for replying I really value your input.

I want to be happy because this is the only time I'll spend with my parents as they go on holiday soon and come back two days before I move cities. I have talked to my mum, she knows how I feel and doesn't blame me. I just find it hard to be happy. This has never really been a problem before, I've been through rough patches but have never felt this down. My mum does her best to keep me occupied but can't be looking over my shoulder 24/7. I guess it's also partially because christmas is a flat time. There's nothing really happening and things only pick up around the time I leave. Which doesn't really inspire me with confidence for keeping myself occupied.

Lows are certainly no fun when you hit them in life, but changing up pace can just be a matter of planning.

If you don’t want to be living with your parents anymore, what about finding an add-on job to increase your income? You’d have less “free time” but at least work would keep you more occupied than being alone and focusing on feeling lonely.

The extra income could push you to moving out sooner, too.

As far as the relationship goes- if you were both unwilling to compromise, then it’s probably just better to move on. If he seems disinterested, then perhaps it’s better to move on to better prospects yourself. Yes, it’s hard and it will undoubtedly hurt. For a time. But moving on is better in the long run than festering when his responses to you are short and do damage over longer stretches of time as days go by.

Or, be bold. Confront him with how you feel and ask if he’s being stand-offish on purpose. If he would rather just end things cleanly. Or, if his remarks and replies are short because he’s hurting and missing you as much as you miss him. Then, figure out a compromise.

What’s keeping you from moving to his city, by the by? If you’re so unhappy at your parent’s house, then perhaps a change of scenery would brighten more than you think.

I'm moving to a different city mid-january for work. I'm a small town girl and he comes from a massive city. I've lived in the same place my entire life and I'm not really ready for moving away from all my friends to somewhere so intimidating.

I think this was more of a spur of the moment thing when I just felt awful and feel a little silly for complaining about moving out when it is going to be within a month. I think it was mainly spurred by my breakup. I do need to explain to him how I feel. When we decided to not do distance he did the whole if we were in the same place it would be different and we would be serious but I don't know if this was a token effort to placate me or if he meant it. Because I don't plan on being where I move forever.

I'm glad for you about all you've archieved lately, but I think I understand why you're feeling down. I think you understand that too -- moving, leaving friends, having trouble with friends, those things happen and they aren't cool. I think it'll work out. Stay strong! x