I'm usually pretty good with coming up with a story idea, it's just my wanting to continue the story that stops me. :p I'll either get bored of what it was about, or can't think of the un-exciting parts of the story, just the best ones.

So, I was going to use a story like this for a manga. : ) Although, before you create a manga, you need a story to illustrate.

The story will be about a boy, about 15 named Garret. He's half demon but doesn't know it. (Yeah, that probably turned you off right then. XD) But, this is a fight between Heaven and Hell. God and The Devil sort of have a competition in obtaining the most amount of people to live in Heaven/Hell. Now, the half demons/angels are usually put away on their first birthday. Going to neither Hell nor Heaven, they just disappear. But Garret bottles his emotions, and since he never gets really angry, his demon half never showed. The Lord didn't notice he was half mortal until he was 10, since God found this strange he continued to let Garret age. At 15, God didn't think he should take anymore chances and decided to bring him up to Heaven to work with Kane, Marvin, and Caroline, all Angels that work to fight off any demons that make their way from Hell to Earth, they also recruit mostly the new teenage angels, since they're teenagers themselves. God tells Garret's angel, Kane, (everyone in the world has a specific angel assigned to them to watch over the person, Garret can see and communicate with Kane because he's a half, but if he was mortal he wouldn't be able to) to bring him up to Heaven. I would think my story to be fairly short since the only things I can think to happen afterwards are them having to deal with 2-3 demon attacks, so it doesn't get too repetitive and for The Devil to tell Garret he's a demon secretly. When The Devil does tell him though, he doesn't want to tell anyone else, obviously that would get him right out of Heaven. God starts getting suspicious and Garret gets more quiet, and is sort of out of it. He has a bad dream about being a demon and The Devil tries to get him angrier so he can really show his demon side.

That's pretty much all I've got for right now. Besides him a little after going berserk, I guess I don't really have an ending yet..

Please, please, please tell me if this story has been overused or used somewhere else, or just sounds plain/boring/unexciting. :/ I would love to have more ideas or twists if anyone has anything in mind.

I hope my grammar's correct, I'll probably have to edit some after posting.

But really, any criticism or more ideas is appreciated. : ) This is the first out of 100 other stories I've attempted to write that I've thought most about.

...really not my kind of thing, so I doubt I'd be much help. XD

The plot sounds a bit generic/immature (I mean no insult, I promise!) but you could make it work if you go about it a tad differently. Too often people use stories like this to just bash religion, and it gets old. I suggest if you're going to try to work through a demonic perspective, you read (or at least skim) Paradise Lost and the Screwtape Letters.

Garret sounds a bit like a Gary Stew, so make sure to give him character flaws aside from "woe to me, I am really part demon, now I must cope with it, omg tragedy/angst." Comes across a bit harsh, I know, but character development is really important to stories like this. So there needs to be some development unrelated to the Heaven/Hell stuff.

Maybe helpful? XD I don't know. Good luck though!

So.. is God not omnipresent in this..? O.o

If I saw it on a book shelf I doubt I'd pick it up or even bother looking at it. Yes, I'll admit the whole "He's a half-human, half-demon" thing turns me off from the series.

Also, I would try to make more of a plot than just fighting demons and what seems like backstory. I'd maybe suggest trying to add one of the main conflicts being Kane's acceptence of Garret's demonic side...

Also for God not to know about something seems extremely weird. I know it's Satan who's going about God's back and all but still. :/ It seems weird.

To write a book about something people may view as somewhat 'immature' or 'unoriginal', you need to be able to pull it off. If you're a good writer/people actually like your art, you can sneak a somewhat different or 'immature' concept. However, if you weren't naturally meant to be a writer (and I mean no offense, I'm trying to help) then you might want to consider a new story idea. If you can portray this idea in a mature and somewhat secret way, the world might believe you a bit.

To tell you the truth, and honesty is my forte, when I read this, it was all like 'blah blah blah blah blah, and then, blah blah blah blah blah...' that's not how you want it to sound. It sounds to me like a really toned down story. I don't see anything action that peaks my interest, and you're going down the right road, with the Devil trying to make this 'demon' side come out of Garret, and stuff, but then what? I know you're still working on it, but if this'll be published someday, it needs to have serious action. You can't make a Heaven/Hell series that's just like 'there was a boy. He was part demon. God let him into heaven. The devil made him mad. The boy got kicked out of heaven' and I know its probably not going that way, but you might want to consider redemption. Your reader will be attached to Garret, and so if he gets kicked out of heaven (because honestly, it would make no sense what so ever if God didn't kick him out) the reader will be all 'NOOOOO!' and never pick up the book again. If you want to satisfy your reader, and put in some suspense, there needs to be redemption.

And the whole Garret being half demon half mortal, you should keep that no doubt. I'm not fond of the idea, either, but none of this would be interesting at all what so ever if he wasn't half demon, because what if he were just an angel... then what? Boring. Keep the angel and demon thing.

Sorry... ha... that must have come off really harsh... D: But you have a shot <3

I know what you mean with writing loads of stories, and never finishing them, my memory stick is packed out with them :3

But, your story does sound like the type I would read Just keep it fresh ( if you can...) Your own (well, you are kinda doing this by writing) And I wouldn't worry about the end 'til you get there :D You may even surprise yourself