(I renamed it, this is what it used to be called o.O)

I'll start:

I wish I had a pony.

granted, but your pony... yeah he has ancient pony plague......

i wish i wasn't on a bit of an art block TT^TT

TT^TT TT^TT how could this hapeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen [falls over in glum]

granted but you have a sudden loss of mind and give it all to some other rich man

wish i could figure out what to put for the [2 thing you did not do last weekend] section of my homework

granted but your paper ends up sucking I wish my hair wasn't getting so light

It gets darker but then it falls out.

I wish I had nice hair with no split ends.

Granted, but this new hair has lice

you has no wish TT^TT

wish i was better with plot lines

granted but then moths eat your hair

i wish it wasn't so cold

granted but the warmth is.... you don't wanna know were it came from

i wish the rain would go away... like completly already

Granted, but then it begins to snow heavily.

I wish that the power would quit turning off.

granted but you slice off you pinky toe

i wish i wasn't so tired

Granted but you will always be awake until your eyes get so red, that they bleed... I wish i could buy my favorite laptop

granted but it blows up

i wish i had $1000

Granted but its accidentally shredded... I wish i was a vampire