My mom has a terminal illness. So does my stepdad, whom I adore. My mom's best friend has a terminal illness very similar to my mom's. So.. My mom's friend died this morning. They were the same age, and her friend had two daughters my age.

I won't go into detail, but I had a very stressful childhood. My mom was the only person I ever had. When she met Todd, my stepdad, things finally got better for her after four decades of constant struggle. By that time she'd already been diagnosed with Huntington's Disease. Todd is sick as well, and deteriorating more every day.

My mom was very shaken up by all this shit today. No one expected her best friend, Hope, to die this soon, though we all knew it was a possibility. Because of the Huntington's disease, I have a 50% chance of inheriting the illness. The question is whether or not I even want to know. My mom is in terrible pain 24/7, and her neurological capabilities and motor skills are steadily decreasing. She's happy anyway, but the thought of me having it scares her, more-so now since her friends death. My close family has an odd policy toward her illness. Sort of like if they ignore it, it's not really happening. I can't really get advice anywhere.

So i'm curious, and posing the question... If you were in my shoes, would you wanna get tested and know for sure whether or not you were going to die early?

I would get tested, if only because having that gnawing at the back of your mind could lead to stress that could shorten your life anyway. If you test and it's positive, you'll be less likely to take advantage of the time you have. If it's negative, then you'll be able to breathe easier.

However, this is my opinion. It's up to you to figure out whether or not you can personally handle the information.

i would get tested immediately. there is something to be said for personal awareness.

also, i am very sorry for your loss... and deeply wish the best for your family. i cannot imagine how life must be for you guys. i can only hope that you all have as much happiness as you can get!!!

I would definitely get tested. I would rather know if I DIDN'T have it because otherwise I would always be anxiously waiting for any symptoms to appear. And otherwise, at least it wouldn't come as a dreaded shock when they did.

I'm sorry for your loss and your family troubles. :(

I appreciate the advice, guys. Like I said, no one in my family wants to talk about it, so I really had nowhere to go. You've given me something to think about. Thank you all.

Just from the other side of the argument, are you reliant on medical insurance? Some companies/policies willl make it very difficult for you to get coverage if you get tested.

So i'm curious, and posing the question... If you were in my shoes, would you wanna get tested and know for sure whether or not you were going to die early?

I would want to know and get tested.. I have a genetic disorder that isnt curable and will shorten my life as well.. and instead of just always wondering if I do or dont I went and got tested (and came back positive). I feel better knowing. Best of luck to you and sorry your dealing with so much right now *hugs

I would also get tested. I know how hard it is not wanting to know, but sometimes it helps if you are aware you have it at an early age. Trust me. I've been diagnosed with a genetic disorder which isn't curable, and has painful side effects, and if I'm not careful, will shorten my life. When there was a probability that I might have had this and was urged by the doctor to get tested, I did not want to. But now I'm glad I did, before it got out of hand. It sucks having to take 10+ pills a day, but if that's the price of a relatively healthy life, so be it.

Good luck to you and your family. My heart goes out to all of you.

I would get tested, just so I would know for a fact I had it or not. I would go crazy if I didn't know for sure. My heart and thoughts go out for all of you living with terrible genetic disorders/diseases.

Personally, I would get tested. I understand why you would just not want to know, it seems like nothing would change in the long run if you did or not, but it would. If it comes back negative, then you spare yourself years of anxiety and gnawing worry, always wondering somewhere in the back of your mind if you're sick too. You could also tell your family that no, you're not sick, and they should put it out of their minds too. If it comes back positive, then you can accept it, deal with it and find some way to live your life with it. I'm not sure if I would tell my mother if I were in your shoes, but at least you would know what you were facing tomorrow, instead of going in blind.

But this is your choice, you need to do what's right for you. You know far more about yourself and your situation than we ever could.

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother's friend, and I wish you, your family and Hope's family strength in dealing with all this. I can't even fathom what you must be facing

Hugs

Whether or not you get tested perhaps should depends largely on whether there is treatment that can slow/prevent the development of the illness, and/or slow the deterioration? I know nothing about that illness, so not a clue, but that's what I'd factor.

Heart disease is hereditary in my family and supposedly there is a test I could have to check whether I'm at risk. My Dad never thought he'd reached the age of 50 so he just lived his life to the full. He was 39 when he died, and I think he went about it the right way really. I think I'm a bit healthier than my Dad was, but I try to be fairly healthy but at the same time I think it's worth living life to the full regardless. I am fairly lucky that I enjoy exercise and vegetables though! I think maybe if I have children I might consider getting checked out, and I reckon health checks every 5 years or so will possibly be a good idea as I get older. Plus if I have children I will try to get myself organised and sort out a will and arrangements for my children. One one hand it would be good to know whether I have inherited the higher risk, but on the other it wouldn't. I'm best to look after myself anyway, so might as well just do that. There's a lot more they can do now for heart problems as well, so is less risk I guess now.

Two approches to getting tested: You get tested and know one way or another. If you have it (which is an unfortunate possiblity) you take advantage of the time you have and live life to its fullest, enjoying everything.

You don't get tested, and you take the policy I do. I don't know if Im sick, I dont have any reason to belive I am. But you never know, when you, or someone you love will experience tragedty, so you still take full advantage of every day, that way, you never fear aobut missing out on anything

Honestly, I would probably get tested. It takes the worry away, either way. ITs better to know, and either feel relived that you don't, or know that you do, and be able to start trying to cope, and make peace with it.