1 Vbad - 10 being THE BEST!

Bleeds

I prick my finger on a needle To feel the pain is to live again As the Pain comes it lingers.

Pain is there A jolt of blood Bursts through A new life begins.

It Bleeds with love. It bleeds with passion. Soon the Bleeding will com to an end.

As it ends the Pain is still there. The life has begun again. To keep going is to live Should I prick it again?

THIS IS BY ME(AMAIRA) IF FOUND STEALING IT I WILL REPORT YOU!

I don't do number ratings, not my style, but I can give you a written opinion :3

Hmmm, interesting but not very complex. Most self-harm poems seem to deal on the same subjects so they're not overly original. You've got good structure and your lines flow smoothly. I think the last stanza is my favorite, mostly because the pricking of the finger appears to be a never ending process.

Well Thank your opinion Trick-dash I do appreciate it. would anyone else like to throw there two cents in?

Six.

It's get a bit of an...interesting feel to it, but it's mostly very generic. And I highly dislike th ending. It doesn't really flow to well with the rest of the poem. Mainly because it seems like a poem where something should be felt, but I'm not getting that strong of a vibe. However, it does have promise. It kind of reminds me of a silver cup covered in dirt; like it could be beautiful if certain things were just polished a little.

7/10

It sounds like a verse of a song somebody like Tokio Hotel would write. (Dont worry they're awesome.) Im not a fan of gory poems but this one sounds like my favorite band :D so yes. 7/10

I will do this by verse before giving an overall rating.

You have an uncapitalized 'p' for the first 'pain', yet it's uppercase on the second. It's a technical error that can easily be fixed, but does saying 'Pain' rather than 'pain' change how the poem is viewed. Using 'Pain' can be to give a physical body to what hurt and agony is, which is what I was looking for. I'm not sure if it was just an error, but it may be something to concider. Also, I'd like to see a form of punctuation in this verse. I feel like it would have more depth if worded:

I prick my finger on a needle To feel Pain is to live again. And as Pain comes, it lingers.

I've already talked about the uppercase letters, so I'll leave it to my first post to explain why 'Burst' annoys me. Again, I also think punctuation would really help make this verse stand out. Also, a word change for the last line.

Pain is there: A jolt of blood Bursts through And new life begins.

Personally, I find this verse flat and that it adds very little to the poem. It's mostly ust repeating 'bleed' without a real reason. I think that perhaps, an alternative choice of words and punctuation would break up the constant pattern of 'bleed, bleed, bleed'.

It Bleeds with love - It bleeds with passion! Yet soon, the Bleeding will com to an end.

The ending falls flat. You've given the poem a climax in which the reader needs to believe there is a gentle fall to the end. However, it's more like hitting a brick wall. Perhaps, again, a few word changes and some punctuation. I also think the final line should stand alone. Not be part of the verse.

As it ends, Pain is still there. The life has begun again; To keep going, is to live

Should I prick it again?

Overall, it has a lot of potential, though I think some changes would make it a very good poem. I hope my suggestions helped. I'd much rather not give a 1 - 10 rating. I'll simply say that it's fair with the chance to be great.