Fate

Cause I’m falling Yea I’m falling down I see the water crashing beneath me I see the rocks hurtling past The waters getting closer And closer Till it hits me and I’m unprepared. I gasp for air, but I know I won’t find it I tumble down, and down Waving my arms in slow motion (slow motion) I wonder if my parents are concerned. (concerned uh huh) Chorus: I’m sorry, so so sorry. I know I shouldn’t have done it. I know I shouldn’t have fallen (fallen) I know you’d say I’d slipped And accidently fallen. It’s fate, I know. (I know)

I’m fighting the blackness Cause I know I’m not ready yet To die.(oooh) I hit the rocks, and I grimace. (gri-mace) I know I’m not supposed to be living I know I’m supposed to be dead. But fate has me sealed And I wait for its coming. Chorus I finally give up So I close my eyes and rest. And let the water take me (that tumbling water)

Two days later, I wake up. (wake up?) To find I’m in a white room- White bed sheets, curtains and walls I feel so dizzy, and sense a presence beside me. I tense and I gasp because it is not heaven. It is earth. (Earth) It’s a hospital with my boyfriend beside me, sleeping as can be. I smile, a wide smile Because I know fate has chosen, Me to live. (to live) Chorus:

This would be interesting to hear as a song - I'm not entirely sure how the rhythm would work but it’s not bad. I think maybe some lines could sound a little more poetic and perhaps different word choice.

thanks

Yes, It's good, I would like to hear it! Like Trick-Dash said, maybe some word sounds a little weird example : I hit the rocks, and I grimace. (gri-mace) Grimace, it's a nice word, but maybe not enough poetic for the subject. The main character is jumping and hitting some rocks, it must hurt so badly. Also, Grimace is not enough for the pain, I think. But still, it depends on the style of your song, is it a ballade, smooth and sad or more alternative/rock kind? The end is cute, I like happy ending stories ^^

thanks, i think i might change grimace, but to what, scream?

Well it depends on the timing of your song. Do you need a word with 2 syllables like gri-mace or only 1 is fine like scream ?

I can hardly imagine a beat?!?! I love it, it reminds me so much of the music I listen to, and I imagine it with those beats 8/10 :D

i could change it to scream, singing it now. yea, i guess it better, but i want to know who wants to keep grimace there or have scream?

i like it