im so upset and I'm not even sure what I've done wrong i was away all off last week on work experience and i really missed being at home. Anyway i phoned my mum every night and told her what had happened in the day and stuff like that anyway so i get home and mum's in a bad mood with me! every thing i say is wrong and i didn't know why. Anyway later on im sat down and she walks in and goes "do you want to start getting your allowance again" and i said no it's ok because i'm going to try and find a job, meaning i just didn't want any money off her. so she storms off because she took it as ii meant i was going to stop doing my chores, so i said i meant it as in i didn't want any money, and ended up having a huge argument about how im just trying to get out of doing any work and how im turning into a selfish cow ect ect

then this morning she was in the worst mood ever, and of course it was all my fault, and im not going to type out the whole argument but this really upset me me:what have i actually done wrong? mum:i didn't want to hear about your work expiriance, i couldn't care less what you want to do with your life, the only reason i said i had a head ache on the phone was so i could get away from you telling me about what you did and want to do, because i never got to follow my dreams because i had kids!

this went on for ages about how she wished she'd never had kids and done what she wanted to do in life, and how why should i get to go to uni and get a job if she couldn't

i don't even know what to say :( i've apolagised already but she won't take it :(

tl/tr i've fallen out with my mum because i want to get a job when im older and she never could

thanks of you read all that

EDIT: i forgot to add she's really ill just now, so i can't really say much, even though she keeps saying im the one that's made her so ill by not helping enough :(

no offense, but your mom is being a total bitch by telling you something like that....

a mother should be encouraging, not putting their kid down because they are jealous they are gonna accomplish something they didn't get to

I don't think there's anything you can do to change your mom's attitude, but just keep your head up and don't take those mean things she says seriously.... follow your dreams :)

thanks but that's easier said than done she is the only person i can really talk to and i don't like falling out with her i've only been home for one day and she hasn't said a word to me that didn't lead to an argument :( she's fallen out with my little brother as well but then says sorry to him with "im sorry, you sisters just really annoying me" tagged on the end :(

Well that sounds completely selfish :/ I mean your mom. Like Elektroloop said, mothers should be encouraging, etc.

When you start talking to her, and you have a feeling it's gonna lead to an argument, I'd try to stay calm and ignore. Or try changing the subject.

i really do try to, but then she will find a way to turn it into an argument, i mean one minute she's absolutely fine the next she's fuming ahh it's so confusing

Menopause?

.___.;

-runs-

Sorry. lol. I don't mean to take your situation lightly... It really is awful the way she is treating you. Maybe she really does have it though. If the mood swings are bad.

i honestly dont know why youre apologizing to her. you didnt do anything wrong. its one thing to not want to have a fall out with your mother, but it doesnt mean you need to be a doormat.

Huh...your mum is so selfish. She wishes she never had kids but that means she wishes she'd never had you. Basically, she's telling you how you ruined her life. That's completely uncalled for. You have nothing to apologise for. She should be apologising to YOU. I'd show her this thread. Maybe if she realises that other people who don't even know her understand that SHE is the one in the wrong she will be more understanding.

i know but i just feel kind of bad saying anything because she has to look after four kids by herself so i feel like i should be helping more than i do :(

I'm hoping she does, don't know if i can take it much more XD

Well. If she wants to cry that having kids has ruined her life maybe she SHOULD have to tend to four kids on her own. Maybe that's a little spiteful of me, but she didn't have any business getting angry at you just because you want to make something of yourself. Any parent should be happy to hear their kid going on about what they want to do with their life.

Do your best to not pay her any mind until she straightens up. I know that's harder said than done, but you can't let her spoil your enthusiasm for this. Whatever you've got in mind for a career you've got to let yourself be excited about it. Especially at first when you're still learning and getting into it. Don't let her ruin that for you.

I agree with the others. It's a shame that your mother feels that way, but she has no right to treat you like that. It's not your fault she had kids in the first place.

Sounds to me like she got to thinking about how much fun you were having with out her. And now she is jealous(sp?). And that is sad that she is letting the shouda/wouldas, take over her. She should be happy and supportive. But her jealousy is so over powering. And she will cool out it might take a month or too. But she will remeber that she did what she did For you not BECAUSE of you.

And if not just remeber that you wont live there forever.

Try to stay positive, if thats possible.

Also, that reminded me of something. Everything we have, we have for a reason. I guess she was sent to look after you guys and /learn/ something from it.

the thing is she always wanted a family but with what happened with my dad she regrets every thing, and i guess im just involved with that