Well, the title may not make sense, but I have (at least in my eyes) a gigantic problem. It's a seriously long story and will only make sense if I start at the beginning... Try to bare with me.

Okay, so one of my best friends who is basically my sister meets a guy from her school and they really hit it up. After awhile, I get to know him over the internet and turn out forming a thing for him. OF COURSE my bff and him hook up. They claimed it was more than love and stuff like that, and even had dreams about each other at the same time. So the whole time, I'm jealous, but do not tell my friend. About maybe two months later, they break-up, but get back together... Then break up again. Prior this, I had invited them both to my b-day party when they weren't together, and well... I fell in love with him. Back to after they break up... So "he" ends up dating one of my friend's friends, and giving another her first kiss. During this whole time, the guy knew I liked him, and I knew he liked me... Currently, they, meaning my friend and "him" hate each other. I've been secretly dating "him" and hating myself for it. He in a few short words seems just like a really horny 14 year old. He's, tired of using him or he, let's call him Jim. Jim has told me he still tell his ex's that he loves them, and that he loves me. At first I probably did love him, but when Jim said "until we see each other, we should date other people." Which, to Jim, meant dating someone while still with me. At that point, I've basically lost all interest in Jim. Jim also said that he basically died when my friend broke up with him.

So here's my problem... I want to desperately break up with him, but I'm so shy and don't want to break him heart so I feel I can't. Plus, I don't want to ruin my friendship with (calling her Jane) Jane if Jim decides to tell everyone he knows that we're over, because Jane might, and most likely will, find out and could hate me for keeping this from her.I wouldn't know how to gently tell him I'm not interested because this is like my first relationship.

>_< I feel like a seriously bad friend...

Honey. Never stay in a relationship because you don't want to hurt the other person. All you'll do is draw it out and make it even more painful than it needs to be. And a guy like that? You're not going to break his heart. Oh, he'll say it's broken to try to guilt you into taking him back, but he'll be right back out with someone else that evening or the next. He wants to date other people. You don't. It can't work.

Get out of there...fast. Do it quick like ripping off a bandaid. As for what to tell him, just tell him the truth. Now he can date as many other people as he wants. Bonus: Point out the ugliest girl you know and be like: "She likes you. Maybe she'll put up with your shit." Jokes, but yeah. Just tell him you don't feel the same way you felt about him before and you want a different kind of relationship than what he wants.

And don't worry so much about what Jane's going to think. It isn't her relationship. If she's going to be upset, tell her right after you break up with him (but not before because she might would tell Jim before you could).

Break up with Jim - you don't like him and surely you wouldn't break his heart. He tells a lot of girls he loves them, so he doesn't even know what love is yet - that means that he'll recover pretty soon after the break up.

After that you should go to Jane and sort things out with her. Tell her you've been dating Jim, but you realized that he just wasn't for you and that you're sorry to have kept it from her but you didn't want to hurt her. She'll understand eventually and will pet you for making that mistake ^^

So short:

1. break up
2. tell your friend

Again; Jim will not be that hurt from what I've hurt from you.

jim sounds like he is learning how to manipulate females -- with his bs story about dying when your friend broke up with him... and how he wants to date other people during the times he doesn't get to see you..... bah, he's a tool.

as the others have said, i wouldn't care two cents about breaking his heart as he certainly has NO concern about how the females in his relationships feel about his actions. he's a piece of crap.

drop him like a stone, girl, and don't look back.