Okay, I have this one friend. I'll call her Emily. I've known her for 5 or 6 years. I consider her one of my close/best friends. We’ve been through a lot, and she’s always been there for me. I've never had a problem with her, but now she's starting to annoy me. I'm fairly sure the problem is me and not her. And I don't know how to stop being annoyed by her.

I think it started when she started talking to my cousins. I go there every weekend and I hang out with my friends/cousins/neighbors. I talk about it and invite my school friends there every once in a while. I started going there every weekend more than a year ago. It was because of my cousin's neighbor, who I had a crush on. It took a year, but I finally made really good friends with him and we hang out a lot when I'm there.

So I invite Emily to go there. She hangs out with us all and it's okay. But she starts saying inside jokes and things she wasn't even there for. I don't know why, but that irritates me. And when she comes up there, it’s different. Usually me and the guy hang out, but when she’s there, she hangs out with everyone and I feel just kind of pushed aside. It’s because I’m more shy and quiet, and she’s super outgoing and really loud. I don’t really like it.

So I invite her over again. She’s acting like she did before. Then she tries to take the guy I like's hat. So she gets it and wears it and laughs blah blah blah. That makes me kinda jealous. She knows I like him, but she doesn’t see it as anything. And when she leaves, she hugs everyone, including the guy. Then later in school she says she’s like really good friends with the guy I like. And she talks to him on MySpace a lot. It just kind of irritates me how she says she’s good friends with someone after meeting them twice.

She did the same thing with a kid we thought was cute in our school. She started saying hi to him and then talked to him a little bit and then she says they’re good friends. This was in about 2 weeks. I don’t know why it makes me so upset that she can make ‘good friends’ so quickly. I’m probably jealous, because it takes me a while to consider someone my ‘good friend’ and treat them as a friend. (stealing hats, joking around, pushing them playfully) I also take a loonngg time to feel comfortable enough to touch people, like patting on the shoulder and hugging.

Okay, here’s my main problem: I basically want her to stop being so buddy buddy with the guy I like. Because she wants to come up there all summer, and I do not want her there at all. At all. I don’t know how to tell her, because she really likes coming up there. Help on anything please?

I think that it all comes down to jealousy? You should just tell her how you feel, and that you don't like how she acts around the guy you like. Maybe she isn't aware of what she's doing and doesn't know that she's annoying you, because it is just how she is. (Cause you said she's social, outgoing etc.)

hmm, i disagree to some extent.

emily is apparently a very outgoing person, so to talk to her about her personality and how it affects you and your life is, well, futile.

the better solution is to accept that she has such a forward personality and to deal with it. the issue, as you said, is with you -- not her. if her personality bothers you around your friends/family, stop inviting her over.

in so far as mr. wonderful is concerned, that is completely jealousy... and unfortunately, you got the ball rolling by getting her involved with the people you know. it wouldn't be fair (or right) to ask her to stop talking to X, Y or Z because you have an issue with it.

i strongly suggest upping your own personality around your crush if you feel threatened. i personally feel that he is aware of the distinct differences between you and emily. i'm not sure what is stopping you from contacting him on myspace or hugging him?

Uhh I would not bring this up to your friend at all - she does not seem to be doign anything wrong.

I would encourage you to stop bring overly-sensitive, and critical. Maybe she can help you with that, or your family/other friends can help you.

I think the trick you need is to RELAX and stop taking everything so seriously.

On the contrary to most of the responses, I don't think you're being overly sensitive or too jealous or anything. I can relate, as I'm a bit of an introvert myself, but unfortunately "Emily" seems like the kind of person who doesn't realize what she's doing, by flirting and whatnot. I think she also may be trying to compete or imitate you because she admires you, that's why she's acting that way with the boys you two are interested in. I also believe that all of her actions are to seek attention, but it has become a subconcious habit, and she's not quite aware of it anymore. True, you are understandably jealous, but you also need to consider that she might be jealous of you too.

The best advice I would offer if you're truly friends and you care about each other (no matter how annoying she's being right now), is to try to talk it out. Talking is never useless. There's a good chance she'll realize what she's doing and apologize for hurting you. If that doesn't seem to work, compete with her. : ) It sounds hard, but if you really dig this kid, try to get to know him well and see if he's really worth fighting over, and then talk to him more.