Well Subeta. I have come to you for your priceless advice.

Two guys I am interested in, both for different reasons. Richard and Pat.

Richard is a sweetie, I worked with him and we hit it off. He is a full blown nerd, but generally likable. We haven't dated, but I have wanted to, and he has wanted to also. Things got in the way and I ended up dating someone I had thought I loved for a few years. It didn't end up working and I didn't love him. No big. Well not for Rich, he was very hurt, and I hurt because of that. We rebuilt the pieces and are moving forward. Slowly. Like a snail. He has been interested in me for awhile, but he cannot seem to have the guts to do anything. He is fun to talk to, but that is as far as it goes. We haven't done anything. He barely hugs me. It's like I might bite him. We've been out a few times, and I pay for myself, which is good, I like to pay for myself, but it is nice to be threatened in a sense... Let me explain before you all think I am nice.

Pat is a doll. Bmxer muscley and sexy as hell. Took me out on a date and impressed me. He would not let me pay for anything, and though it pissed me off, it was nice, he even threatened to take me home early if I wouldn't comply. Which sounds rude, but not in the least bit when he said it. We've been seeing eachother alot since then, though we are not dating. He is very sweet to me and open about some stuff, and not so much on others. He is very amusing to me, his little quirks, and his acceptance of my lack of experience in the dating area.

Lately it seems Rich has become very clingy, very stalkerish in a way. It bothers me alot. Whenever he texts me and I don't respond he will send me several more along the lines of why haven't you texted me back, who are you with, what are you doing? He also seems to care much more about his technology then people. It often seems like he is just trying to figure me out, like some sort of machine.

Pat is touchy. Sometimes in a good way sometimes not so much. He understands that I haven't done alot in the dating scene and therefore I don't have much experience. Though he likes to test my boundaries, and it seems they are getting less and less the more we see eachother, and it scares me sometimes. But other times, I am very happy with that.

So I am unsure. I like them both. Both have good qualities, very different, that's for sure. But I am not sure what I should do.. should I see where this goes or cut one off completely?

It's all so very confusing.

up until half ur post i was rooting for the underdog, but richard seems to have gotten really creepy.

pat just wants to fuck you.

i'd go with option c, neither.

This sounds familiar as hell...See where it goes!!

I married the stalker :D

To be honest, neither of them sound terribly appealing!

The first guy sounds like he's coming down with a bit of a case of Nice Guy Syndrome. It's really common for nerdy guys to develop that sort of attitude. I dated someone who was clingy and insecure and they didn't get better as the relationship went on - they got worse. I felt like I was being kept on a pedestal instead of dating an equal, and it was really weird.

Sending you texts and then going all twenty questions when you don't reply is creepy, and in my opinion not a good sign in a potential boyfriend.

The second guy doesn't sound all that great either. Whether he phrased it nicely or not, saying you're not allowed to pay or he takes you home early come across as creepy and controlling to me. It's hard to tell early on, but there's no guarantee an attitude like that won't escalate or emerge in other situations.

If he's pushing your boundaries a lot, and it's making you feel uncomfortable then that doesn't sound so good either. Do you tell him when he's pushing too far? If you do and he backs off, then that's not so bad, but if he starts trying to persuade you to change your mind then that's a definite bad sign.

If you're not sure what to do yet, then it's probably best to see where things go, but if you leave it too long be aware that it could be messy and awkward when the inevitable decision point is reached. It's a good idea to make sure they understand that you aren't serious about either of them at the moment.

Thanks guys for all of your input.

I need to not keep Richard on the back burner. I guess I need to do some figuring out what to do with both of them, but I am not going to keep Rich on the back burner, it isn't right nor is it fair.

-Sigh-

Guys are so complicated.

yeah i totally wouldn't date either guy.

i'd be so turned off of a guy that i KNEW liked me but took too long to decide if he wanted to date me. def. not something i find remarkable or notable in a man. i'm curious as to what makes you think he likes you (not that he doesn't)... but i just find it weird that this guy has liked you for years and hasn't done anything about it. would you really want to date someone like that?

i agree with on his assessment of pat for sure. as soon as you put out, that guy will be gone.

Rich hasn't been in the picture for a few years hehe, the guy I went out with instead of him was. Rich has been around since Novemberish, he has told me he likes me and blah, via chat ><, but hasn't done anything.

Yeah, I thought Pat might do that, and being a virgin I don't want that to happen, I am not saving myself, but I am also not whoring myself. I don't want to be used like a Q tip.