Ok, trying to make this short, but won't succeed.

When do you finally kick people out of your house, especially when said people are your separated parents.

Not sure where to start or what to say.

My mother left my father in Feb. The official cause was his alcoholism but of course that brings all sorts of layers with it. At that time I allowed her to move into one of my spare rooms as my last roomie left me high and dry and a month behind.

Last Wednesday, my 'completely sober father' (read with sarcastic undertones) flipped his truck three times about 6 miles outside of town. He was care flighted about an hour away and his gf (whose house he was leaving/going to, not sure) didn't bother to tell any of us until the next morning.

He sustained a collapsed lung, cracked ribs, dislocated shoulder/severely sprained elbow, and a large assortment of bruises, cuts and gashes all around. They did what they could for him and he was released Sunday. My mother brought him and put him in my other spare room (with out asking, but it isn't like I would have said no.)

Anyway, yesterday morning (Monday/less than 24 hours after release) he already started being his normal, jerk of a self. He pretty much stole my car (along with some money) as soon as I arrived home from work. He went out to his gf's house and mostly likely to buy beer as well. He had to do it that way because he is telling my mother she doesn't exist (though she told my uncle he has been living with her for the last two weeks). He had to go get his dogs while my mom was at work (he told mom that they were in this; x, x, x, with him and she just happened to come by the scene and take them home with her, yeah that is totally believable). When he finally came back over an hour later (after I'd received phone calls about his being out in my car and weaving all over the road) and I tried to talk to him, I was told 'Fuck you and fuck your mother' among some other nice statements.

I am just worn out when it comes to the both of them. I spent four days driving back and forth to see him and opened my house to him for his recovery. I have spent days biting my tongue as my mother tries desperately to get me to feed into her shaky belief in his lies. I have spent my entire life trying to please these people who have constantly reminded me that it isn't going to happened. I am trying so hard to be a good daughter and be there for them, when all I want to do is strangle them both. I am exhausted and just do not have it in me at this time.

When do I say, 'grow up and take care of your own problems?' And how do I say that. I feel like such an odd combination of parent and child when it comes to both of my them. There is still that little girl in me who wants her mom and dad to love her, but there is also this person who is about ready to say 'fuck it' as well.

When he brought my car back finally, I went to a appointment with my vet for my seven year old, Aussie mix Ursa and found out that her recent nosebleeds have been caused by a fast moving carcinoma that has traveled up one nostril and started in the other as well. I am one of those people who their dogs are their best friend/furry kids. I just don't have the energy to deal with my parents when I am so heart broken over her at this moment.

I just feel no matter what decisions I make at this time, it can't end well.

You're right. Its at a point where its not going to end well.

You shouldn't have to put up with this.

At this point their in YOUR home.

Tell your father to leave if its at a point where its too bad. He might try and make you feel bad, but don't let that get to you. He's obviously taking advantage of your kindness, which is pretty low for a father.

If he wont leave by asking, then you might have to call the police for him to be escorted.

Good luck either way :(

i think you are right. no answer is easy or going to end happily.

however, i can't help but feel that all this babying is enabling your father to continually act like, well, a baby. he clearly intends on doing whatever he feels like... without concern to what others have to deal with or what they feel about it.

it's time to draw the line. he needs to go. hell, he wants to go.....

i have no doubt that it is weird to have to treat your father like a 3 year old but it seems exactly what needs to happen. i know that you want to just be their child and have a normal existence 'under' them... but obviously that isn't going to happen. you are clearly intelligent enough to know that you have to be the adult.

i completely wish you luck and strength in making the best decision.

I've had to kick my father out of my place before. It's not something you want to go through, but you sometimes don't have a choice.

You need your sanity. You have done the most you can do and they have worn out their welcome. You just need to sit down with them and tell them they need to leave, both of them. I understand your mother's situation, but as long she is there, you will be constantly hounded by the drama between them.

They are adults who are capable of taking care of themselves. Taking advantage of your hospitatlity, even though you are their daughter, is wrong of them.

They might be disgruntled for a little while, but most likely they'll get over it. It sounds like they'll have countless other problems going on to really stay focused on the fact that you kicked them out (if that is what ends up happening).