When you you start trusting the one you love?

Id' have to say from day one, but I don't know if I'm right. =/

'Cause to make a long story short: I've been hurt many times before by the people who I thought loved me. They abused my trust and in the end I was left with a broken heart and the one who had to pick up the pieces of what they left behind.

My girlfriend already abused my trust once, and I forgave her, but... I don't know.

Trust is like a mirror; once it's broken, you can never look at it the same again.

I've been a hard one to forgive and forget, especially since I have trust issues. sighs

Thanks.

TWO QUESTIONS:

1. When you you start trusting the one you love?

2. How many chances do you give // does that depend on what they did?

I actually trust very easily. Once I've established a relationship with this person- get to know them, on constant speaking terms, etc- there is pretty much this already formed trust. That's why you're socializing with them. You normally wouldn't want to be around people you can't trust, it makes you uneasy.

I have suffered the ultimate form of betrayal in trust one ever goes through with a significant other. It's still early on, so I'm not exactly sure if there's still trust there or if I'm just in denial. I've forgiven a lot, but it really does depend on what they do. Some things are forgivable, others are too devastating to really forgive in the end.

You can restart a foundation of trust, but once doubt has set in, there's no way you can get that original full trust back. Unless you're some very gifted person that suffers no doubt after going through something that breaks that trust.

For me, I find everything but murder and infidelity forgivable- though those two are now in question themselves. Your trust levels are based on your own beliefs, so it's kind of hard to help someone out on this as there's no one true, straight answer.

Why not try the old adage: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Second chance, a good possibility. A third? No way in hell- that's not a mistake, it's a habit from a lesson that will obviously never be learned.

It took me a while to trust my first boyfriend. Probably because it started out as an internet relationship.

But since being with him fucked me up, I'll have an even harder time trusting guys (IRL...not doing the internet thing anymore lol).

As for chances, I have no idea. I think I'll just go with my gut the next time around.

1. When do you you start trusting the one you love? This is your big problem. Trust is something that needs to be earned. I'm not saying to assume people are out to get you all the time but you need to work up the that 100%. Don't just hand it out. You wouldn't just hand out your password to someone on here without establishing a high level of trust. So don't just hand out your heart, either.

2. How many chances do you give // does that depend on what they did? It deffinitly depends on what they did. If someone is cooking you dinner and they burn it... do you say "Oh! but I trusted you to make a great dinner tonight." No. Because sh*t happens. However... if someone cheats on you... well that trust is broken and the repair is unlikely.

1. Trust is needed to be earned. I've been betrayed a few times, but it depends on the persons if I manage to trust them. My former best friend betrayed me quite a few times, and eventually I told him I neither could or would forgive him. It was partly a choice, partly my gut saying it.

I trust my boyfriend yeah, it took some time before I did. We were friends first, that helped establish the trust.

2. I give a few chances. It really depends on what happened. Like I mentioned with my former friend, I couldn't trust him in the end because he repeated the actions that made me loose trust in him. Repeatedly bad behaviour will not be forgiven by me, the excuses doesn't work the 10th time.

I don't trust anyone.

This works for as looooong as the other party doesn't know it, and it's basically how I do and will continue to live out my life.

I thought as much. =/

See, my love has been my best friend since last year. We were really close then, though even as a friend it took me a while to trust her. But then gradually I trusted her more and more. Now, though, it's like some of that trust has been broken down and building that back up is going to take a lot. =/

This is how I feel. I honestly just don't work with excuses the third time, though... I'm so tired of people feeding me lies and excuses before that I just won't take it the third time around. Second chances are earned depending on what they did. Third chances just aren't given, though...