Only a few moments ago I was just told a truth that my parents have been hiding from me for well my entire life.

Apparently my dad whom I know and love is not really my biological father. The only reason I got to find out this lovely piece of information was because someone was using it against my mother.

This person was using it because of something that her daughter had been caught doing and now is blaming my mother for punishing her for it.

Now I know that my dad loves me and all but this well was a huge shock for me and I'm not sure how to take this...

I have the love and support of both my parents and my loving boyfriend but I don’t know what I want to do with this now...I feel kinda lost...

Has anyone else had something like this happen to them?

Wow. What a way to find out :(

But just because hes not your biological father, doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

Don't push him away because of this. Think of how he'd feel. I bet pretty hurt :(

I hope you manage to cope well. Im sure its a difficult situation.

I agree with Natsu, not the best way to find out these kinds of things :(

There are actually a lot of people in my family who aren't related to any of us, and some of them I didn't know about for a long time. They weren't as close to me as a father, but my Poppa for instance: turns out he's not really my grandfather, not biologically. My "real" grandfather was some deadbeat asshole who abandoned his wife and three young kids to run off with a barely-legal blond a long time before I was born, and then died a couple years ago. My Poppa, on the other hand, is a man with a huge heart that I love dearly, who took care of me when I was sick, who genuinely cares how I am and wants to know what I'm up to. My biological grandfather, despite being introduced to me several times as a kid, wouldn't have known me from any other girl on the street, and I wouldn't have known him. My Poppa is my real grandfather, in every sense that matters. We're not tied by blood, but he loves me and I love him, and that's all we need.

I know that what you're going through has to be rough, it's an entirely different ballgame than me finding out about my Poppa. Just remember, your father is still your father, in every important way but one, and that one thing doesn't count for very much as a sense of "family" goes. If he loves you, he'll still love you no matter what.

Thank you those who have posted, and i know my dad loves me very much and i love him back. Its just hard to go through seventeen years of thinking one man was your father only to find out that he isn't...

Its just weird, so to make myself feel better I'm gift bombing people. :)

You're wrong. He is your father. He is the man the loves you, raised you and will always be there for you. he is your dad.

Just because he isn't the one that helped produce you, doesn't make him any less of a father.

Really now. :(

My older cousin went through something very similar. He was the product of his mother's first marriage. As far as I know none of the kids (any of us 19 cousins) ever knew she'd had a previous marriage. One day, as an adult, he was at our other cousin's house and they were looking through a photo album. When they asked my aunt who a man with his mother was, she casually dropped the bombshell that it was his father.

It caused a lot of tension in the family.

I can't imagine finding something like that out and in such a way. I am sure it changes a lot of your views. Unfortunately my cousin's relationship with his "father" wasn't as solid as yours appears to be and he felt it explained a lot of things he had felt for a long time.

I am glad that you have a good relationship with your dad and hope you don't intend on letting this change anything. After all, they say that your dad isn't always the one that fathered you.

I agree with this.

I agree with this.

I know, and my love for my dad will never change. He is the man who raised me and made me who i am. Its just weird for me to find out this way. And i kinda wish i was told sooner. but none the less i still love him. I'm just coming to terms with this thing that all. And the fact that someone wants to try and use that against me and my mom. But thank you for all the comments on this. Its made me feel better and gotten what i need to say out off me. So i thank you all.

That man is nothing but a sperm donor to you, the other guy is your father. He's the one who raised you, took care of you, played with you, etc. At least that's how I look at it with my situation.

I'm really sorry this happened to you though, hope everything works out.

Of course its a bombshell. You have a right to feel betrayed, hurt, angry, and most likely feeling very alone and vunerable.

However, there may be a very good reason why your parents chose to not tell you. Perhaps the man that really is your father was a horrible person.

I mean you never know uness you ask. if it means that much to you, perhaps ask your mother for his name and track him down?

If you aren't that concerned, then just be happy that your mother had a decent man willing to father you as his own for your whole life.

It's true they should have told you, but have you been unhappy in your life that it mattered?

Believe they that your parents felt they were doing the right thing, because as a parent, under certain circumstances I would do the same.

Chin up sweetheart ❤

Thank you all for the comments on this thread, yesterday when i wrote this i did feel hurt and sad so i wrote this. But if any of you go the impression that i loved my dad any less than you are wrong.

Even though he is not my biological father i still love him since he was the man who cared for me and raised me. I was just mad and upset because of the people who where trying to use this information to get back at my mother for doing her job as our church youth leader

As for the man who helped produce me, my mom said it was a one night stand kinda thing and he didn't matter, so i think he shouldn't matter to me either. Maybe when I'm older i might go out and find him, just so i know who he is but for now i am content with the fact that i don't know him and i have wonderful parents who love me.

Well I'm adopted, but I can' think of my adoptive parents as anything BUT my real parents. My biological parents.. I really don't care. They're pretty much just strangers to me. I've never even met my real dad.