So all my life.. I've always been living in an unstable home. Parents get separated. Live with my "dad" (not really my father but he's still a dad since that's who I grew up with) and my brothers. Rarely had food in the house. My brothers were abusive to me and my dad treated us all like crap period. Told my mom about what dad was doing. She took me in at 15.. And it grew into another unstable home once again. My mom just cares about my SSI money. She didn't care I had an eating disorder. Her boyfriend was abusive. It was just hell... The boyfriend I had was emotional abusive too. I was so depressed cause I felt like no one really gave a crap about me at all. And most of it was true. My parents truly didn't care. My siblings somewhat care since they're going through the same crap. I didn't have real friends. I would be always online after School cause that was my get away. Been to 2 mental hospitals (one to get help and the other to get away from my unstable house cause of stress). I've told my feelings towards both my parents. I told my mom's now ex about how I felt towards what he was doing. He said he'll change but then doesn't at all... All this till I was 21 years old of age..

Now I'm 22 about to turn 23 in April. I live with my boyfriend who I actually met through an avatar site. I have lived with him for almost a year now. He has a loving father that cares a lot about me and he has a sister that cares about me too(we're gonna actually visit her at the end of this month). I love my boyfriend dearly cause he treats me like I want to be treated. We've been together for over a year... I'm still not used to being cared about so much. I am finally living in a stable home for once in my life. And I really don't understand even after a year of living here I am still not used to it... I'm like happy I've never been this happy in my life ever. I've eaten a lot more and my depression has been decreased a lot since I've lived here. (plus I don't even have SSI anymore because I've gotten a lot better).

What I'm trying to say is I really don't understand why I'm still not used to this... this new life I'm in... Can someone at least give me an idea why that is? I just want some opinions that's all...

First of all, I'm so happy for you that you're out of such a toxic situation and doing better.

21 years is a lot longer time than a little more than a year. Your past is one of broken promises, and perhaps your mind is expecting it to happen again. The more time you give it, the more you will get used to this care that you have really deserved all along. And if the worst should happen, then you still know how you deserve to be treated and should settle for no less. Life is too short to take any bullshit and you have definitely already had your share.

Thank you that helps a lot ^-^ And yeah sometimes my mind does think it'll happen again. But I try really hard not to think about it.

I know what you mean, I feel the same way. My background is slightly different, but there's a lot of mental abuse in my past from my family, and I was depressed for years before I finally managed to pull myself through it all. I've been in a relationship with someone who respects me and cares for me for three and a half years, and I'm still not used to it. In a way I consider this a good thing, because it makes me appreciate what I have much more - I know the value of being kind and caring. I also find it hard to trust in this happiness because it feels too good to be true, but I don't think about that too much.

Like said, you've spent so much time being treated like crap that it will take time for your mind to realize that abuse is not the norm in relationships. It's a huge change in your life to be in an environment that feels good and safe, and like with any other change, it'll take time to get used to it. In my opinion it's like moving to a whole different country. :)

I think it will get easier, and you will slowly begin to settle in to your new life, but I agree with , in the end it will probably be a good thing because you will appreciate what you have. You can't buy experience; your past experiences can make you such a strong person. If you can go through all of that, you can handle the little problems that some people collapse under.

A lot of my friends have lived fairly mediocre lives (as far as I'm aware), and they're not all that grateful for the same sorta stuff that I am. Like right now, I'm just happy to have a nice warm house with my mum close by. You'll be fine, and it'll definitely get easier. You've got your whole life vs. 1 year of happiness - so it's definitely going to take time, but you'll get used to it. :)