I haven't written since, well, high school. Understand, I graduated from high school in 2006. Gah.

I guess I wonder if I should even continue writing, or if I should just keep it to myself since it is, sadly, fanfiction. I don't think I've written anything original since I wrote for the school paper. And even then it was poetry.

So here I am, about to post a sample of it because it has gotten embarrassingly long, and asking you all to give me an honest opinion. Its been a long time since I've asked advice or posted anything, so just be gentle if you would haha.

Oh, one last thing. This if for the TV series Firefly, set after the movie Serenity. Or maybe during, still figuring that out myself. Its based on the character of Badger.

In life there are so many things that can turn out to be mistakes. So many decisions that mold, shape, and can end a person. Living was the hardest part about life. Especially if you were the type of low down uneducated scum coming from a border planet. When every decision you make chips away at your soul, you begin to wonder how to stop the fall that’s coming. As your morals crumble, as your personality changes, as you become bitter and untrusting. A person had to wonder to themselves how to stop the avalanche from taking who you are away. When you look in the mirror and see someone so different than who you are. To when you can’t look in the mirror at all.

This was on his mind when the Alliance Feds came for him. His eyes taking in the night sky outside his den. His home, his place of business and symbol of his work. This little hovel that understood him best, had seen his soul chipped away. Knew him better than any other being in the verse. He could have run. Should have. Its what people expected of him, cowardice. But he wasn’t stupid. With the slums and black market burning there wasn’t another place in the world for him to run to. So he stood, looking at the stars through the metal grates as the black smoke curled towards it. Behind him his home burned. All his scraps of paperwork in his untidy handwriting had been torn from their drawers and burnt. Anything leading to anybody would be long gone before they got here.

Twirling his bowler cap in hand he wondered about his life, and what had brought him to this point. Certainly his upbringing. His mam had loved him, but his pap hadn’t. The youngest of six, it had never been easy to feed all the children properly. Malnutrition wasn’t the main cause of his height, but it hadn’t helped. School had been only enough to read, write and do simple math. He was bright, in his idiocy, cunning and slick. Street savvy because he had to be. Ran away from home to come here, start new. Landed himself in jail a couple of times. Had learned himself some hard life lessons there. Ones he wasn’t fool enough to make more than once.

Today had already been a long one. He’d paid off the people working for him, told them they were no longer employed and to get lost. Keep their heads low and avoid the Feds. Play dumb with them. Had done so because most of them had people who relied on them, needed them around. It had been a weird feeling, once the building was empty. Most had cleared off of Persephone entirely. When it came down to it, no one trusted him. Couldn’t say he much blamed them. He had never been the type of person to open his heart up enough to allow for that type of thing. A businessman, see. Not a lover, or a friend, or a colleague. Always alone. Better that way. Less chance of losing everything.

A couple things to consider:

I would keep the backstory to a minimum, especially when you introduce the point of action. Since I see "when the Alliance Feds came for him," I would expect the scene to show Badger standing his ground fighting/resisting the Alliance Fed**, or some other action sequence, but right now it's all on "Pause" while Badger's backstory plays out. It's good to show how Badger became the man that he is, but maybe instead of cramming it all into the beginning, gradually reveal aspects of Badger's character/history by dispersing it throughout the story. We can learn a lot about Badger by seeing how he acts in a situation, or how he communicates/interacts with other characters. **Only guessing how Badger would act. I am not too familiar with the Firefly universe or characters, though I did watch Serenity (but remember very little).

Also, be careful with fragments. Style-wise, they're great for emphasis, but when used sparingly. Right now, I feel like most of the fragments are unnecessary, since they could be changed to regular sentences and have the same meaning/tone.

It's not bad at all so far. Keep it up! :)

Mmm, I can see what you mean. I'll have to break that up a little haha

Badger is a bit of a special case as he only showed up in two episodes and only with a limited showing xD

Thank you for the advice, I'll work on it some more =D