So today was just a really crappy day. Instead of a nice family get together, I ended up with my grandparents from my dad's side coming over. I'd only been awake for maybe two hours and my entire family had managed to get into three arguments, all over trivial bullcrap. This happens every single year and university has been such a fantastic break from the family, as terrible as that sounds. Since my university recently switched from quarters to semesters, I now get a month off for winter break...which means a month stuck with my family. Being here for less than a week has already stressed me out way more than my entire fall semester. And to top it, my heart has been broken a third time now in the past..3 months. Woo. Though it wasn't as big of a deal as my family problems...but it still adds up. >< I have no idea how to deal with any of this anymore.

I just needed to vent. :|

Ugh I know how you feel. My long term boyfriend broke up with me the day break started and I have been stuck at home with my obnoxiously pessimistic mother. I hope things get better for you :c

:/ I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you as well.

if it makes you feel any better, I spent christmas totally alone, I got a few gift cards for food and some chocolate but that's it for gifts. I have no family in the state and no friends nearby, and even my roommate was gone, so I spent all day inside alone. And then I broke my toe. And I've been working every other day including christmas eve, because retail, and its been so exhausting because my Lyme symptoms are cycling back round again so I am completely drained after being awake and on my feet for just a few hours. I also might not be able to afford my rent this month so yea cheers

Not any better/worse than fighting and toxic family members, but also draining, stressful stuff. The holidays blow. Im pretty glad Im not living with my family like I was last year... we fought a LOT and I actually wound up being homeless this time last year because of it. So I don't envy you but I know how it goes to an extent, you've got my empathy for sure. Hang in there, friend, you'll make it out somehow <3

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that! ): and thank you, hearing about other people's problems during the holidays makes me feel better that I'm not quite alone in bullcrap haha. I do hope you get to rest up though D: it sounds extremely exhausting and stressful. And I hope by some miracle you can pay rent. <3

Haha thanks. Yeah it makes me feel a little better too, because I've just been drowning in the Christmas positivity everywhere and it gets sooo old after awhile.

I had this ironic moment too... my dad (meaning well, the poor sweet guy) sent out this mass christmas e-card to a bunch of family, and I was copied on the list. It was this fucking comic sans powerpoint (omg) and it was like, prompts for what to be thankful for. It was like "if you have a roof, clothes, etc.... thats more than [made up %] of people" and the next ones were like, more health than sickness, if you have spare change and money in the bank, if you've never been tortured or starving, if you know how to read, if you can go to church without being harassed, etc.

And I was like, ok this was a sweet sentiment, but these are almost all things that do not apply to me and that I don't have. Like I have a roof, for now, but when you make like $7/hr that comes into question, lol. I cant afford a doctor so my health gets worse every day. I can barely afford food, none of my clothes fit (for the ones that are still intact even) and I have past trauma that's been coming up lately, precisely because I cant afford healthcare and because I have no support system here.

So it feels like someone took a hose of "BE THANKFUL MERRY CRIMAMSSS MERRY MERRY SO HAPPY!!!!" and is like shoving it down my throat,and I'm like, "this isnt mine what are you doing!!" Lmfao. I wish I could be happy for people right now but I just am struggling too much, I have to take care of me first.

My point is not to get off topic and talk about me instead, but really just that I totally appreciate when other people are having a bad time, especially now, I feel like we're kindred spirits for toughing this out while everyone else gets nice things. Like a peaceful family get together or something for once. I feel like that's not so much to ask, I totally understand clashing with people cause I'm pretty argumentative (esp with family) but cant you just cool it and set it aside for petes sakes. I hope the break isnt as bad as you're fearing and that everyone can hold it together and get along for ya.

I can't imagine what any of that is like, but I know it's still kinda shitty. :/

And yeah...today got especially bad though, to the point where my dad was yelling and I was yelling in response to him yelling...and then he was asking me why I was yelling (as if you HAVE to ask) and then said college was turning me into a crazy bitch and that I was stupid, etc...my friends taking me out tonight really saved the day though. I got to relax for once in the few days I've been home.

Wow your dad is a shithead, that is some A abusive rhetoric right there. Im really sorry to hear that you have to put up with that, because it's absolutely not true and you don't deserve that at all. I'm glad to hear that you have some decent friends though, I hope they can stick around and distract you a bunch.

I really wish I had more advice for coping with gross family members too. The times my parents have done shit like that, I just broke down and freaked out at them, and wound up refusing to talk to them until they agreed to go to therapy. I'm not sure how effective that was because we live in separate states, but I can't say that it helped or hurt, one way or another.

Yeah, I've had people tell me my life/family is fine and that I just complain about things...no, I truly do have problems with my dad. I've had them for years and I can only deal with so much on my own. :/ And yeah, I'm counting on friends to get me through this, as well as me spending a good portion of the month working on my portfolio so I can apply to co-ops/internships for the summer. So I'll be keeping myself busy, at least. :)

A friend of mine suggested therapy but honestly, I doubt it would get us anywhere because of how my dad is. He just thinks he's right about everything all the time, yet knows absolutely nothing about the real world and whatnot. It's either like talking to a brick wall when talking with him, or he constantly blabbers on about the same things like a parrot. e-e

BARF. Don't even give the time of day to people that think they know better than you are what your life is, OR that will brush off abusive behavior. The least you owe yourself is to admit that there is a problem there and that is DEFINITELY problematic of him.

I understand. My mom is the exact same way. She is in therapy now, but I won't ask her about it. I hope this isn't too TMI, but the thing she did most recently was to declare on FB that I fabricated my own rape as the result of a "delusion," despite the fact that a) there is plenty of evidence, b) my friends will vouch for what a creep the guy was, and c) I confided in my mother that I was raped and she decided not to believe me, she is my MOTHER, she is supposed to have my back. But she is so hellbent on being right, and being convinced that nothing could have ever been wrong in my life, that she would rather say that shit. (She also denied for seven years that I had depression, and after I was diagnosed by THREE different doctors she said they "didnt do enough" and she wanted brain scans because she thought it might be a head injury instead. WTF? And I wasn't supposed to take antidepressants because "dont you know that some guy took that and then he stabbed 3 people????") And then post on FB that I was crazy and made it up. She agreed to go to therapy because I told her that I would cut her out of my life forever unless she did - but, I'm sure that she spends 100% of her therapy sessions explaining how her theory about this is correct and I really am just making it up. I don't want to hear about it.

So yeah. If he won't go, or it's counterproductive, then there's not much you can do except wait it out. It seems like you know that his head is up his butt though. I won't say don't let it get to you, because of course it probably will, but I hope that your friends know better than whoever told you that your family is fine. It's possible to have dysfunctional parents and still get along with them, and live with them - it's not ideal, but you'll make it out alive, and I hope that someday your dad will calm down and see the mistakes he made and be nicer for it. It might not happen for a long time but if he loves you I think healing that rift is absolutely possible if its something you even want.

Anyway Im just rambling but yeah, hang in there!

Oh God, I'm sorry to hear all of that and I hope you're okay. -hug- I really don't understand how people can act like nothing happened like that...

And yeah, I really hope he gets everything sorted out...God knows what goes on in his mind...and I'll be okay! :) The past two days have really gotten better because I haven't been stuck at home with him.