Terrible Jokes Only
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Hi. I love dad jokes, puns, anti-jokes, and just ridiculous humor, so I thought I'd make my first forum post a thread to collect them in my own little hoard like the dragon I secretly am.
I shall start off the party with: Two antennas got married the other day, the wedding wasn't anything special, but the reception was great!
"In some villages the death toll exceeded 100%."
From the book "Non Campus Mentis", this gem of logical fallacy sourced from a report about The Bubonic Plague.
There is also a beautiful Headline that ties to
It read, Used Fireworks for sale. Very appropriate for the Crystal Shop, it seems.
I've got another one, this a bit more technical.
I've started a band called 1023 Megabytes. We don't have a gig yet.
How is a heart surgeon better than a mechainc?
No mechanic can fix an engine while it runs.
How is a mechanic better than a heart surgeon?
No surgeon can offer you a new, unused heart. (yet maybe...)
An old classic:
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!
I can't actually post the og because it's in Finnish but it sends me snickering each time I read it:
It's an image of a truck that went through an iced over pond and the engine compartment is underwater. The Finnish follows:
"Hi, does my insurance cover animal collision?" "Yes. What animal did you crash with?" "Perch."
That's amazing! XD
Let me see...
I saw a listing for some work that requires you to sleep all day Its a real dream job!
There is someone out there for me, she is waiting...at the nest left after Infinity.
Life is hilarious...southpaws be the butt.
My dad has a lot of dad jokes, AKA corny jokes. Here is my favorite:
We were driving down a country road next to a corn field. My dad rolls down his window and yells out to the field, "Hello! Can anyone hear me?" Then he turns to us and said, "There are a lot of ears out there, I thought maybe they could hear me."
[ToT=edges]