Hello everyone, i'm learning another job so i'm back at school again. Where i live you have to learn and even pass an exam to officialy become an office clerk. The point is, i have a classmate, when we first met, she went to the free seat right next to me. So we came along well, she seemed like someone always saying what's on her mind and stuff like this. She always talked bad about nearly everyone and everything. And that i'm the only one she's feeling comfortable with.

She talks very harsh to people and wonders why they could react pissed off too. Because in her mind, the harsh way shes talking and acting, she defines as "strong" and "showing them to respect her", also she beliefes acting like always attack someone verbaly (in her way) means she's in her "power" and because of this "showing respect"

I have to tell that she seems to be frustrated the most time. So often the put her frustration on me, but i know that people have reasons for behavinig like this, so i got understanding for that. But the months went by, and i was like, wait...i'm not her emotional trash can, to be treated like this. There are other options to put out inner frustration. Also my grandpa died at the end of last year. She was there for me.

But when our christmas holidays were over, we had some issues with some teachers and so on at school. I had to manage low energy and my emotional instability because of what happened.

She accused me of being "fake" because i couldn't stand up for her. I told her some times, i'm on a personal limit, i don't want any more burdensome situations, i just can't take more. She was bloody mad at me.

But the clue is, she often got these moments too, but her rules only apply for her. She has rules for anyone else and you have to be 100%. But for her actions, she always has excuses.

One day our bus and train worker did a strike, so many of them didn't do their work, they were fighting for a higher salary. I was lucky enough, a kind woman i know from the bus stop, who was waiting with me, took me with her car, so i was only late about 30 Minutes.

Around this time, since a week or so, all the memories of my grandpa and the situation from last year came up. I was sad, felt bad, was a lot more quiet and tried to manage my thoughts and feelings.

When i came into the class, i have seen that her writing pad was more than half on my side of the table (everyone has their on big table) So i told her to put her writing pad on her side.

So she told me in a harsh way, she didn't know i was coming today. Then i told her: i never wrote (at our class whatsapp group) i wasn't coming.

Then again in a very harsh way: as if i only put my...on your side. as i would do that EVERY TIME. Then i said: I never said that you do this every time, i only asked you to put your writing pad on your side! Then she ignored me the whole day, went out alone when got a break, we normaly go for a walk this time (we have a 1 hour break at lunch time)

She ignored me the whole day and even went without me when class was over. I was so damn shocked and thought, ok, enough is enough. Who she thinks she is? This happened around 3 weeks now, but still, no sign of saying sorry and meaning it no. She seems to wait that i should be sorry for my behaviour.

Now she plays nice and friendly with the others, the talked that bad about. Now they are fine enough for her. I even have the feeling she talks bad about me behind my back,

Do you guys have any advice for me? I hope they will see behind her fake behaviour and see her fake behaviour, aggressive, harsh and frustrating personality.

Thank you for reading up until now, thank you in advance for anyone replying me.

PS: I could tell you so many more situations with her disrespectful behaviour, especialy in this short time of 3 weeks. Also i know that she hates to lose power over me, because i'm just ignoring here now.

Friends do have ups and downs as any relationship will. However ultimately this doesn't sound like she's much of a friend unless it's serving something for her and only her. It's not right to have rules for others to behave/ act around her then not hold herself to that same way around others! That's a classic do unto others as you'd have done unto you. She's going more the do as I say not as I do route. Right there that's highly contradictory, most people who don't want specific things around them are also usually mindful to not act that way with others or at the very least make a good apology once it's realized. Someone like her speaking ill of others without basis to be saying such things tells me she does it to everyone and one day it'll bite her in the ass plain and simple. I'd just hang around anyone else you loosely know and develop things with then over her at this point. She might need help but she also needs to realize she does have to treat others nicely and reflect the way she wants treated in her interactions with others.

You are so right, and i agree with everything you said. She even was kinda mad at me when she found out i was in the cinema with a female classmate and were watching "suzume", an anime movie. I'm even sure she doesn't even like anime. She's the oldest here over 50 years, and was never interested in any cartoons, even the older ones. But she only is sitting next to this female classmate because she's good at maths and calculating, that's why she's interested in her. The thing is, that she is very manipulative. She tries to show me she is in control now, she's connecting with the others, she talked so bad about. She was bloody mad at me if i talked to the others, and she has no intention to talk that much to the others. But since i distanced myself from her, now she is the exact opposite. She is so skilled in manipulating others and playing like she is interested, you can't imagine. She even gives "little laughs" out of nowhere, and i know secretly she laughs about me, because she knows she's trying to isolate me from the others. She can do this for a long time, i mean, i believed her for about 6 months...how long will the others take to actually understand? And i'm so sure she's talking shit about me, and tries to put me in a bad light, the bad light she actually is, but it would be best for her to put it on me. They are very naive about stuff like this and believe this kind of shit, even if she would talk bad about me. I'm the type of person, if i have many things up in my mind, (for example with my grandpa and other themes), i tend to be more for myself, even if i wanna connetct more to others. She knows this and wants to get advantage out of it. Dunno what to do.

Someone here with a little more advice on this situation? I could go berserk here honestly...

If this relationship started feeling exaustive, you should def start setting some boundaries. It's always okay to set boundaries that make you feel more comfortable around your friends, family and so.