I got a letter in the mail.. There increasing my mortgage payment amount. so im going to have to cut back on things. Im on a fixed income some of my other bills went up.. Like my phone bill (everyone's went up).. there is no cell phone service on my road.. so a house phone is a necessity. Ive not bought a coloring book or coloring supplies for a few months. Im going to cut back on puzzles by going thrift stores and look for sales or cheap puzzles (under $10.00) so im trying to cut back on expenses.

Ive been having trouble sleeping.. Ive been giving up on things.. for example I was trying to do a puzzle.. It was a complicated one.. I wanted to just give up cause I thought "there no way I can do this.." My coloring I can't even pick out colors.. I keep thinking "will this even look good?" "if I mess up it will ruin it" "are these even good color choices"..

as you can tell I have self confidence issues..

I have 0 friends in real life.. My sister ran everyone off.. she trying to get her name on the tittle to property by running off everyone. she even admitted she chased off everyone and told others to not help in anyway. So trying to find anyone to fix the mower that is currently down is hard to do.. she lies and treats people like crude. but her friends she kisses there rears cause they benefit her. she gets things from them (items,money,took out to eat,ect..) so yes my sister is part of my problem. her and her kid (10 year old) treat my dogs like crude. (slaps them,kicks at them, screams at them) funny thing is her dogs attack people but she treats them like they do no wrong.

her and her husband tried to get me to do a 50 / 50 deal on the property.. I wouldn't do it. they drink,steal, and there friends are same way. her husband even threaten to kill my mom once. (it's on police records).. so ya they are psycho. they try and threaten to get there way. truthfully I wish they just fall of the earth. but we all know that won't happen.

so im dealing with psycho's and bills. Ive been trying eucalyptus candles and wax melts to help put a calming scent in the air.. I do have health problems.. so does my mom. my sister is just causing stress. why do people have to act so controlling.. I mean every time I go out I hear that her friends are reporting/relaying everything back to her that I do..

I can't even get the mail without my neighbor or her friends driving by reporting back to her.

Im so upset and stressed out.. The only friend I actually have is we send each other cards in the mail and talk on here. we have never met in person. hpwever she is my only friend. My sister does not know about this site or my youtube stuff. So she can't spy on me.

I try and think of good things.. the cheap thrifted puzzles Ive gotten recently. the flowers blooming (I have iris flowers and hyacinths) my cats and 2 dogs and cant forget the bird. books ive been reading.

Im just kinda like blah today.. so much stress..

what do you do to help relieve stress? any advice for my self confidence issues on how to improve my confidence?

I am so sorry to hear you are going thought al of that. Listening to music playing video games, watching tv and playing on here, really helps me when I'm stressed. I hope things turn for the better for you.

thank you. Ive been looking into diamond art.. where you stick the gems on images according to the letters or numbers to make a pattern.. Kinda like color by number but with gems. I also ordered my 1st solo board game! Dollars to donuts its a game where you use tiles and cards.. you try and match the tiles and fill customers orders.

Your welcome, So glad you found something.

my dollars to donuts game just arrived today! Im trying to figure out how to set it up and play it. im looking for a walkthrough or "how to play" video on it..