Uh... Hey... I forgot I had an account. Also evidently I've been paying $5 a month automatically since forever. So. Anyway. Idk if anyone remembers me but y'all cool so I'm going to try to, uh, rejoin. Sorry I had a massive multi year long brainfart.

omg friend.. u r alive!! wtf is up

welp evidently I'm graduating this year, and have a cool job I just started. Doing this medical scribe thing and so far I completely suck at it, but they said everyone does for like a few months, so I'm trying.

Idk lots of good things. Lots of changes as well. What's new with you?

oh thats awesome, congrats!! is it better hours than ur last job? cause didnt u work nites at a hotel or motel or smth. im sure once u get some more experience itll come easier 2 u

eh not a whole lots new w me. rly just bad things tht id rather not talk abt lol. im supposed 2 b graduating this semester as well, but we'll see if tht actually happens. 2023 has already been off 2 a horrible start 4 me so idk im not optimistic but im trying 2 keep my head above water

yeah I was doing overnights at a crappy motel :( right now I have 2 more training shifts, I'm doing 5-2pm tomorrow and 10pm-7am on the 7th... then I think they're mostly putting me on weekend afternoons and weekdays 5-2 because those doctors are a whole lot easier than the main overnight guy. I'll only be doing 27 hours a week which is great for my school schedule, it's 9 hour shifts so yeah.

Sorry to hear things aren't good. I had a time kinda like that during this past fall semester, I was half thinking "what if I drop out" but like I was on track to graduate this May so I figured that's just nonsense & kept going. Now I'm 2 credits short evidently and going to graduate in August. Oh well. Hope things look up for you.

I'm sad I finished semester 3 of Mandarin in the fall and my university doesn't offer further classes in it. I've really been grinding Duolingo lol.

ohh thats nice they didnt throw u rite into the gauntlet lol. and yay 4 having a schedule tht allows u 2 have a bit of a life!

yeahhhh im hoping i make it 2 graduation but idk. regardless of if i do or not, i need a break after this year bc i feel like im speeding towards a complete breakdown at this point

ugh that sucks so much!! my school has shit for french options, which i took all thru high school, so i feel u. i was all excited 2 take fancy advanced classes once i got 2 college but nope

I'm excited and nervous for my next shift!!! Hope I don't screw up too bad or they'll make me do it over. x_x

Gotta take care of yourself. And even if you don't graduate, it doesn't mean you can't come back/try somewhere or something else.

Oof that is rough. My school ofc has an amazing Spanish program but everything else is so neglected. I'm actually surprised they even offer Mandarin but I think it's part of their global community concept dealio and they have it as a partnership w a business school in China. In the last 2 semesters it was just me n 2 other students. But we made it!

im sure ur gna do great!! when is ur next one?

yeahhh im trying not 2 beat myself up over it, but the family pressure is real u kno. sigh. i guess we all make it 2 the other side somehow

yeahhh my school is similar. actually i think theres a pretty decent german program too, but yea any other language is severely neglected. the only french class i could even take here, when i showed up the first day the ~10 other ppl in the class were all native speakers from africa looking 4 an easy A. so she had all of them do a separate project, and then i would just meet the prof in her office during the scheduled class hours and work thru the textbook w her one-on-one

it was that night, 10pm to 7am! I had a full body anxiety attack and wasn't even sure I could still go to work, but I felt like if I called out they'd think I'm too much of a basket case and unable to do this job. So I went even though my tongue and limbs had gone numb and I felt so disassociated and like I may pass out. Luckily I managed to do my job, and within 2-3 hours felt back to normal. Actually had a really big confidence boost from the shift. My boss/dude training me said he's seen a lot of improvement, and he gave me the choice of either doing 1 more training shift with him or being scheduled on an "easier" shift by myself and seeing how it goes. He said if I work that shift and don't feel okay with things we can always add a training shift in, and he's only a text away for any questions. I truly feel he's taught me everything, it's not a problem of knowledge but an issue of needing experience. I can't rely on him forever and I feel I'll grow quicker as a scribe the sooner I go off on my own. So I opted to go solo and I'm just waiting to hear what my real schedule will be. Oh, I also got an email from the boss of my boss. He wanted to know how I feel, if there's any site problems I don't feel comfy reporting to those who are on site, and then he finished saying he's heard I'm doing great. That made me feel better as well!

Family pressure is extra tough to deal with. I've been such a black sheep forever my parents just are glad when I do anything positive/productive ish but I wish they at least understood what I'm working on and maybe tried to encourage me :( but it is also nice not having pressure to do certain degrees or jobs, and generally having freedom. I just really hope it gets easier for you.

Ah man that doesn't sound like a great class. But it's nice the professor took the time to meet one on one with you. I've been thinking just as general mental health/self improvement, I'd like to get more involved in language learning (Mandarin and Esperanto specifically) and start doing yoga more regularly. I'm going to go to yoga tonight I think, the library has a free 8 week series going on. But I want to have more structure with things and really have actual hobbies. Plus play music.