I don't know what I am expecting from this. Maybe to be able to get this off my chest whether someone reads this or not. I feel empty and lost. Not really sure what to do with myself anymore. Death is starting to seem more comforting to me and it has for a while. I keep telling myself that I need to stay here for my daughter, but what if her losing me is what is best for her or what if it destroys her? The thought of her needing me kills me and it is what keeps me here. I am trying to be a better person, mother, daughter, and everything in between. Some days I am proud of my self and others I am disappointed that I didn't do something better. I am on medication because I have generalized anxiety and major recurrent depressive disorder but some days I feel like it isn't working. I am going to be starting therapy soon in hopes to find ways to cope and deal with everything. I just hope it helps.

I read your post. I'm so sorry to read you go through this. :( I've been there too, in that dark spot, I started medication and luckily, it works. It's good you'll start therapy. My fiance's mom was depressed for many years when fiance was growing and needed her mom the most. :( Her father was always at work. Can you imagine fiance now has abandonment issues because of this? yeah, go figure. Fiance resents her mom for not taking action sooner, but i always say 'better later than never.' Except in this case (depression), things usually go from bad to worse for the sufferer. If you ask me, you (only) need to be (mentally) better, and not a better mom, daughter, etc. You currently struggle and are most likely at your best, already. You are enough as you are. i am enough as i am. Being able to accept we are enough just the way we are, is a difficult step. It usually requires therapy and medication too, along taking action and being willing to accept the fact we need help. And you already did this by reaching out for help, something that not everyone feels strong enough to do. Or may have nobody to reach out to, not even a forum on a pets' site. I wish you all the best. Stay strong.