I'm really not sure what I should do, and different people are giving me different answers, so I thought I'd ask around some more.

Many years ago, I had an online friend who I was really bad towards. I wanted them to be there for me all the time and to do everything I asked, and I got upset and angry when they didn't and we fell out and when they told me they didn't want me to bother them all the time and wanted me to learn how to get on without them, I just would not listen. It took being on the receiving end of something much worse to finally get it through my head. I eventually apologised, and we were on better terms, but we eventually went our separate ways when we lost interest in the website we knew each other on.

Now I have the chance to reconnect with this person after I managed to find their Tumblr blog when I was looking for users who used to be on that website which it turns out was taken down. I'll admit that it was wanting this person and other users from that website to see me as I am now so they'll no longer remember me as the cringy teenager who was a bad friend, which is a bit selfish, that made me go looking. But I didn't think I would get as far as finding them, and now I really don't know what to do.

It's been years since we last spoke, and that might have been long enough for it to sink in just how awful I was. So they might not be very welcoming, or they might be brutally honest about how I was in the past and I'm very sensitive and might get upset even if I know it's true. But even if they are welcoming, it might still feel awkward, I'm not good with one-on-one conversations and I don't know if they're part of any other online communities that I might be interested in.

So I'm really not sure what I should do. Should I take the website being taken down as a sign that I should put everything behind me, or should I attempt to interact with them again and see what happens from there?

Well, you did say you apologized and were on better terms but now that you have the chance to reconnect I would say..go for it. Tell this person what you told us; tell this person again how sorry you are and that you have matured from that person you used to be. Then ask for the opportunity to make things right.

If this person accepts then that's great but if they do not wish to have further contact then wish that person well and go on to other things. THat's all I can say.

I thought I should give an update on this.

So after a few weeks, I got very anxious and was haunted by "I was a bad friend" going through my head a lot and I just had to do something about it. So I finally sent a message to this person just asking how they were doing, and they seemed glad to hear from me. We talked a bit about what we're doing now and how we feel about the website having been taken down, and now we're following each other. I decided not to make another apology for how I was before in case it re-opened old wounds, I thought it was best to leave it in the past. I think they know I'm not like that anymore anyway.

Reconnecting with old friends can be really rough. I recently was on the other side of this when reached out through Instagram. I had some irl friends that were upset when I left the high school I was at because I was severely depressed and the social structure there was not good for my mental health. They then decided either through their own decisions or by pressure of the friend group never to invite me to anything ever again (I say this because I was the only one out in that group and I called someone else in the group on their homophobia and some did not like that).

It’s never gonna be the same and most of the time you’ll just remain acquaintances. Time and personal reflection can do a lot of good though.