Sorry I just need to be a downer and I would on neopets cuz I love it for sad posting but I don’t wanna be told off for not following the rules

I stopped taking my mood stabilizer again and I was doing really well and thought I had finally gotten it all together and was doing generally great and telling everyone about it and doing all these fun and productive and exciting things and now I’ve crashed and I’m failing everyone and all my responsibilities and just feeling like I’m desperately trying to not fall completely into the pit

I almost always take my stimulants cuz I immediately notice the effect but idk why I’m so hesitant about the mood stabilizers. I think I’m still skeptical about my Dx for reasons, but I still know intellectually that stopping my meds is NOT the way to address that. So I’ve fucked myself bc now I have to wait for it to get back in my system and I can’t have that greatness feeling back and I didn’t get enough done while I had it

Why do I do this to myself I should know better by now. And now I have like bigger responsibility and obligations to real people and CHILDREN and I’m just so overwhelmed

Feel free to vent or ignore idk i just had to ramble and I’m frustrated with myself and just…tired

• Hugs u *❤️❤️

I'm rooting for you Elliott!

thank u friends 😭😭❤️❤️

well friend, i 4 one think u r a very bright and capable person who just happens 2 b struggling rn. and i think most ppl can empathize w tht, esp by now id think the ppl at ur internship know u well enough 2 recognize tht ur not just A Lazy Piece Of Shit like ur brain loves 2 make u think

uve had a shit ton goin on lately, so its understandable af tht u would b having a hard time. a wise old sage once said, "everybody makes mistakes. everybody has those days"

ty friend <3 thats one of my favorite song quotes of all time

Hey I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Mental health struggles really suck. I'm struggling right now/always, too. I'm glad you feel like you can vent here; it has to go somewhere.

thank you <3 how's your brain zapping going btw?

Chiming in to offer encouragement. Say ur a light in my life and I’m happy you exist. Rooting for u Elliott.

Aww thanks for asking! Brain zapping (TMS) is over and unfortunately it was kind of a dud. I didn't get much improvement out of it but I'm still glad I tried it.

we love you, elliott!! sending good vibes your way <3 <3

oh that's too bad, but it is good that u tried. are u thinking of anything else?

tysm friend :') <3

next up is ECT. I'm not fully on board yet, I mean I trust my doctor but like that seems like a huge deal and I'm just nervous about it. But I'm probably gonna do it.

yea it does sound scary but hopefully ur doc knows best. wishing u the best!