I was chatting on a Discord about multiple topics and then the topic of "the college experience," parties and drinking go brought up

and then basically it was just these two girls chatting back and forth about how they don't get parties and they think it's dumb and why they'd rather just go home

I chime in with an "oh actually I kind of enjoy it it is repetitive though but it's still fun" and then it's just the two of them grilling me with basically the background message of "I don't get you why would you want to party??" and just saying that if they wanted to drink they'd drink at home, if they wanted to hang out they'd play dnd with others, how can it be fun if all you're doing is drinking and dancing, how can you be comfortable when there's loud music and people, there are way more fun things to do at home, etc etc and I'm just like "idk, it's just fun" and yeah sure I hate crowds and loudness those things give me serious anxiety, but like, I love loud music that's all I listen to all day, in fact I use it as a way to lessen my anxiety around people because it gives me something to distract myself, and when it comes to crowd issues either ways you're drinking in a party, and sure I absolutely love my alone time at home and I will deteriorate internally if I don't have enough of it, and I have a lot of things I do by myself that I enjoy, but they're not an either/or thing??

I don't mean to be the World's College Party Defender, but like, I just like going to a party with my friends and having fun and blowing off some steam?? It's not even the first time this sort of argument happens with me and others, I feel like every time I am put in this awkward spotlight and it makes me feel like I am either lying about parts of my own self or I am the greatest freak in nature because like, oh look an introvert that likes partying!

like, I'm sorry I like getting drunk with my friends and doing stupid things together in an environment where you can do more things than you normal daily life, it ain't nothing deep but it works for me

Ayyyy I’ll know to hit u up next time I’m out and about in ur area lol

I swear if the NC had a real life meeting where we went out for partying and drinks I'd be so feral lol

ooooh I wanna see feral felix haha

but also how dare you like things they don't like????

Breh I feel like this happens a lot with my introvert / nerdier friends. It’s like they get on this weird holier than thou stance about how parties and social events and drinking are stupid and people who enjoy them are small minded or somehow less than and I do NOT understand.

Personally, staying in and playing DND and other stereotypically “nerdy” activities are NOT my cup of tea, but like Jesus Christ let people enjoy things. You’re not special because you hate socializing and doing things that most people enjoy.

hehehe I mean with the pandemic year I am a bit rusty, but I get in so much shenanigans when I'm drunk and hyped up, I have a ton of stories from parties I went to a couple of years ago

yeahhh it feels unnecessarily critical, like I'm sorry those are just?? Normal things?? People in general do?? And?? If you don't like it?? Sure that's an opinion to have?? But you're not special?? Or superior?? Like, I'm sorry but I don't have enough puritan blood to be that strict and self-restrained to save my soul for the afterlife or something, I need a way to release some energy and emotions and it ain't going to be yoga and book reading that's gonna do it

And I mean like, I don't get a lot of the "nerdy" activities but also because I didn't grow up with a group of close introvert friends that introduced me to stuff like karaoke and dnd and playing smash bros since young, I either have completely solitary indoor activities like drawing, reading and watching stuff, or outdoor, more social activities like going on a stroll around the city, hanging out at the mall, or partying.

yeah I'm very similar in that sense -- I Didn't grow up with any video games or fantasy-based fandoms and wasn't allowed to watch anime or read harry potter bc my mom thought it was all demonic so i was a big introvert growing up as well. Read a lot. Played with my dogs. Now I'm much older and social and like being social and outside and with other people.

Your comment about saving your soul for the afterlife made me think about the weird religious takes on this as well. I dated a mormon for a long time that was pretty open to the fact that I'd drink and go out, but it was funny bc until he dated me he had a very narrow view of ppl who drank or partied. He'd associate drinking at all with being absolutely blackout and irresponsible and trashy -- which, if thats what you wanna do there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but that isn't always the reason people are drinking or going out.

Like if somebody was drinking a beer at a back yard bbq, he'd assume they were drunk or trying to be. He did not understand the concept that people can just drink because they enjoy it and it doesn't mean they aren't capable of having fun without alcohol or something.

It can be totally harmless, but he always had this weird moral hitch in his getalong about it.

I mean I did read a lot as a kid and teen, and still do to some degree as an adult, and I mean I mainly enjoy fantasy and sci-fi, and I still read manga and anime and all ever since my weeaboo phase days, and I even get into the more internet-heavy stuff like homestuck or fnaf or undertale/deltarune, but I tried my toes in the communities that grow around those series and shows and like, idk man, I just don't fit in, I can't match up on the level of dedication and obsession people have to these franchises. Also I get really offput by so many aspects of fandoms and all, mainly because they are so drama-heavy and spur all sorts of discussions that are blown way out of proportion and surreal for anyone who steps back just a bit and see it from a bigger perspective. Not to mention the amount of creepy and questionable characters you find in those fandoms, also like, I gave up going to conventions because the amount of disrespect for personal boundaries people have in them is incredible, I've had more respect from drunk college boys in college parties than even my own anime friends back on the day. So yeah like, bottom line, I don't really enjoy those activities that are so stereotypically associated with introverts and geek culture and all.

Oh yeah I've had my fair share of discussions with people who associate drinking with just being sleazy and all. In fact even my mother acts like that and treats anyone drinking as if it were the worst thing in the world, it's part of her weird dissonant behavior where she is both the most ridiculously moral person when it comes to etiquette and behaviors and mainly how women should act and dress and all, and the most radical feminist and militant atheist towards anyone who's got a strong religious sense.

But yeah like, idk why, I've noticed that there's this weird permeating idea (which is more prominent in the US than in Brazil, but with the arrival of the evangelicals to Brazil and social media echoing it, that sort of sentiment is cropping up here) that if you're in any shape or form an adult who isn't just work-focused, well-behaved and mild-mannered, fully in control of both your emotions and your desires, who never does anything even remotely outrageous or scandalous, and mainly, abstinent in many ways, not engaging in more "carnal" pleasures or being very secretive and self-punitive about it, you're a failure or there's something wrong with you, or you're immature, or whatever else. Like, I hate that mentality, and I hate that this is being advertised here by influencers who echo this mentality from twitter as the solution to poverty in a personal level, and the failure to follow that as the justification for your continued state of misery. This feels like straight up dystopian, I hate it so much

Like, I'm sorry I'm 26 going 27 and I haven't "settled down" or "calmed down" and am not in any shape or form any less chaotic and energetic and emotional than I was at the age of 13, I tried the whole repression thing in high school, no thanks to my mother being the utmost hypocrite and jerk, and me listening way too much to the moralistic jerks in church and this crazy neofriend I had who only doubled down on the whole thing, and it only made me miserable, hating myself because I was too hype or loud or too forward or ate too much or whatever other "excess" did not change me, it only contributed to my severe depression back then and my social anxiety overall. It's such a toxic mindset