And also do u ever wonder if ur incapable of love?

Personally I think it would be very cool to be an octopus but I definitely feel like I give off more kiwi bird vibes.

Sometimes I worry I cannot experience true connection w someone bc ive never been heartbroken per se by another person. Even in my happy LTRs I still am not really deeply wounded when they end, I’m usually a little relieved to be on my own again, and there’s never any point where I feel like that person “completes” me or that I “need” them u feel But I feel like I should experience that if it’s “real” or w/e so who knows. Ppl keep telling me I just haven’t met the right person yet but I’m pretty old now and I’ve had lots of serious relationships soooo idk about that

10/10 whorse great choice

Yeah idk maybe but I also wonder if I’m like not feeling things as deeply u know?

squints That's a question to catch furries, isn't it?

Anyways I think I'd just be a calico cat. Or just a cat in general, a feisty, grumpy, sleepy one at that.

Also? IDK honestly. It doesn't help that I have never been in a relationship, mostly because the only people who get interested in me are weird and borderline creepy, and the people I have liked never corresponded back, or even worse, made fun of me for liking them. I know that you shouldn't stress about dating and love deadlines in life and yadda yadda life has more to offer than just love and a marriage, but I still feel a bit hurt that I'm heading to 27 years old and literally the only people who ever look at me are creeps and drunk guys at college parties. It just hurts my ego at this point.

But also, I feel like it's hard for me to find myself truly loving someone, I feel like most of the time I am a very detached person, and have to consciously think of other people and how my actions and inactions can affect them, and maintaining any sort of relationship is exhausting to me because I feel like it's so unnatural to me to be affectionate and considerate and be so aware of what I'm supposed to be doing to maintain a relationship. I know it sounds horrible and selfish and cruel, and I swear I try at least being social to some degree, and nice, and try to meet people halfway on their emotional needs, but since it's so exhausting to me, I end up slingshotting emotionally and just become distant and avoidant of people when it gets overwhelming. And that's considering that all my relationships outside of family are just casual friendships.

And on the one occasion I did not act like that, and was more invested in the person, I overshot the other way, where I become borderline obsessive with them, which is a whole shameful thing of its own and I ended up hating myself afterwards, when I snapped out of it. It was not okay and I feel like the adults witnessing it should have intervened in it instead of encouraging it, because I was way overstepping their boundaries and probably really creeped them out with my behavior, and it lasted years, but alas sexism allowed it to happen because "look at this cute puppy love isn't it adorable?"

That all aside, I absolutely loathe when people tell me that it's all a matter of finding the right one, mainly when I describe my issues with connecting with people. I hate this stupid mentality that love fixes everything, go freaking read something grounded in reality and not 70s hippie idiocy.

that sounds frustrating. I’m 27 too and haven’t ever really had an issue developing romantic relationships. I always feel like my partner is far more invested in me than I am in then, which isn’t to say I’m not trying to invest fully in them or have any conscious reservations into doing so… I just… dont? Idk

And even when I’m certain I’ve been in love & even considered marriage at one point, when I realized it wasn’t what I wanted it was just over quick and easy. I can always detach SUPER readily and I feel like everything I’ve been told about “love” means it should be difficult lol

But who knows. Maybe we’re all just conditioned by society to think happy relationships are supposed to look a certain way when in reality they just don’t actually.

a bird of some sort. probably one of those parrots tht is just too wild 2 think abt keeping as pets. ok palm cockatoo, final answer

also i am but a wee babe, but my opinion is tht love looks/feels different 4 every1 and ur experiences w it can even contradict what u say u think "love" is. maybe its not tht u dnt love the person and thats why u dnt feel deep sorrow, but u r able 2 realize it rly is the best thing 4 both of u and feel more ok bc of tht. my relationships have all felt quite different, but i wouldnt say any experience was inherently better than the other (ykno if u just focus on the times when they were good lol). and even when u love some1 tht doesnt mean tht u just stop enjoying being alone if thts what u like in general. i think some relationships fail bc the ppl act like they have 2 do everything 2gether or spend like all the time 2gehter

I mean, this may be the skeptic in me talking, but I think people end up mixing up a lot of things with fear of losing love, like fear of being alone, sunk cost fallacy, social expectations, gossip that may arise, etc. I mean, sure if you're married for a long while and with children and all, it makes sense to be apprehensive of a divorce because you have to dismantle an entire life you've built with your partner, but like, a relationship with no ties? I can't see why wouldn't you leave it if you feel like it's not worth your time anymore. I don't mean in the case of abusive relationships, those usually have a lot of psychological problems underneath and it's a whole beast of its own to walk away from them, I mean your garden variety breakup story, I really don't get why is it such a big deal.

And honestly I just feel jealous of good relationships, people seem so happy and invested on each other, I don't think I could ever.

Edit: also I remembered another thing I absolutely loathe: when people pressure me when I state I don't have any interest in a person like "they're so good looking/nice/interested in you, why don't you give them a chance?" I don't get why do so many people think that you need to force yourself into a relationship to hopefully grow into someone like it's a damn 19th century courting on a Jane Austin book and I'm marrying them eventually because there's money and family heirloom involved, like hello if I don't like the person I don't think forcing me to be with them will make me any happier

very true. I do very much like my alone time and one of my biggest pet peeves in relationships is when ppl lose their identities in one another — I guess a lot of ppl kind of embrace this which would make it harder to separate if ur sense of self is inherently intertwined with some1 else. And when I look at it that way I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have that separation of self

VERY true. I do feel like a lot of people stay in subpar long term relationships / marriages just bc they’re afraid to not have the person or other things like they’ve already invested in a lot together. I don’t rly want that either

ur 100% right. some ppl get out of relationship and straight up dont kno how 2 live anymore. i could never handle tht, like... u never kno what could happen. what if they get in a horrible accident the next day? thats kind of extreme lol, but like. there r many ways outside of ur control tht ur relationship could end, and i think ppl need 2 confront tht more n b prepared 4 it

omg YA. Like not trying to be dark or cynical but I’ve always said “people are temporary” and that has really rubbed people the wrong way but like.. they are Whether they cease to exist on this earth or just leave your life for whatever reason, people are only in your life for a limited amount of time and u gotta be okay one way or the other u feel

i rly dnt get why most ppl act like this is such a horrible way of living ur life. like okay yeah, sure, sometimes acting like tht can stem from trust issues, but also some ppl just like 2 b prepared 4 what may come. my stepmom died super unexpectedly at 40, and i mean my dad has seemed 2 do pretty well w everything, but it just goes 2 show u tht its not some impossibility tht u only ever hear abt hypothetically